51–60 of 113 posts
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Contrary to the popular belief white-knighting never got anybody laid. Count on it.
I was about to say something similar. I know at least one female friend who thinks this way for sure. I'm also wondering if this white knight thing isn't making women feel powerless since they need to be helped as if they can't do it themselves.
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Men, and especially white and Asian men, are afraid and confused because other people have this powerful weapon they can use against them called "getting offended". The rules for how it works are fuzzy and not printed anywhere and anyways they vary from place to place. So men, and especially highly logical men, are scared, curious, and very motivated to try to figure out the rules. In recent cases of sexual harassmen…
This is what an /r/MensRights commenter looks like, right? The weird, totally irrelevant racial tinge the comment has is a signal too, right?
There's good reason these groups have these weapons. They have historically gotten the shit end of the stick from everybody else and we are sensitive to any potential bias compensate for that. But with power comes responsibility and we can't go using our weapons unreasonably if we are all going to get along.
I don't mean to have a "irrelevant racial tinge" and you can correct me if you think I'm wrong, but my read is that white and Asian men don't have this weapon, unless they are disadvantaged in some other obvious way. For example, if a handicapped white man got offended at someone making some statement related to that handicapp it might be treated with the same gravity. But most don't have the weapon, so they are scared and confused and grope for understanding (like the OP).
I've never been to /r/MensRights. I guess I'm not supposed to say things like this. I could just think forbidden thoughts to myself, but I would rather engage in dialog with others to learn more.
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No. Ellen Degeneres or The Voice or any of the other false equivalences you're desperately reaching to make is not the professional technical workplace. If you run in any of my technical circles, put on a technical presentation, or otherwise represent at a technical conference, and you make "jokes" that are sexual innuendos of any kind or are otherwise unprofessional.... You will be gone. Gone. Count on it. The tech…
"sexual joke" are not necessarily "sexist jokes" and there is no particular reason to say that women are somehow traumitized by the mere mention of sexuality. Is making sexual jokes at a conference unprofessional? Yes, but it's unprofessional regardless of the gender of anyone or everyone in earshot. Whether it's unprofessional enough to justify: "You will be gone. Gone." "Count on it." is quite clearly a subjective…
> This freedom from the inanities of corporate life attracts proponents of Agile Methodologies, and scares the begeebers (you can’t use the word ‘shit’ in a professional paper) out of traditionalists.
It looks like you've already been unprofessional by using that word :-) By the way, I don't want to be part of those events, too.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck. Women are humans. Some of us (humans) find toilet humour funny and a great way to escape situations, some of us dislike it and find it unprofessional, some of us just don't give a fuck. Just talk like you talk, be aware of alienating people you care about, fuck those you don't, and do cool shit. I like toilet humour. It is silly and fun and stupid. It is ironic and whatever fucking p…
Men, and especially white and Asian men, are afraid and confused because other people have this powerful weapon they can use against them called "getting offended". The rules for how it works are fuzzy and not printed anywhere and anyways they vary from place to place. So men, and especially highly logical men, are scared, curious, and very motivated to try to figure out the rules. In recent cases of sexual harassmen…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
No. Ellen Degeneres or The Voice or any of the other false equivalences you're desperately reaching to make is not the professional technical workplace. If you run in any of my technical circles, put on a technical presentation, or otherwise represent at a technical conference, and you make "jokes" that are sexual innuendos of any kind or are otherwise unprofessional.... You will be gone. Gone. Count on it. The tech…
"sexual joke" are not necessarily "sexist jokes" and there is no particular reason to say that women are somehow traumitized by the mere mention of sexuality. Is making sexual jokes at a conference unprofessional? Yes, but it's unprofessional regardless of the gender of anyone or everyone in earshot. Whether it's unprofessional enough to justify: "You will be gone. Gone." "Count on it." is quite clearly a subjective…
In the same way that being around a group of really rich people and saying you missed an appointment because your car broke down and they say "didn't want to get the weekend car wet, eh? Why didn't you hire one for the day you cheapskate! Hahaha!".
It's not the mention of money that matters, it's the automatic dismissal of your life situation as something that doesn't happen to real people - it isn't even a concept - to all the other people in the group, and how alienating that scenario is to be on the 'wrong' side of. The implicit pushing of the idea "everybody" is rich and because you aren't, well, you aren't really a person. Not really.
And you say "hey, I couldn't afford one, I missed whatever it was and that sucked for me" and they say "what do you want me to do, pretend I'm a pauper forever and never talk about money? That's just political correctness GONE MAD!".
But the request is not "they should pretend to be poor", it's more like "they should consider your situation as a real person and then not say something that sounds like a clueless bozo said it".
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No. Ellen Degeneres or The Voice or any of the other false equivalences you're desperately reaching to make is not the professional technical workplace. If you run in any of my technical circles, put on a technical presentation, or otherwise represent at a technical conference, and you make "jokes" that are sexual innuendos of any kind or are otherwise unprofessional.... You will be gone. Gone. Count on it. The tech…
"sexual joke" are not necessarily "sexist jokes" and there is no particular reason to say that women are somehow traumitized by the mere mention of sexuality. Is making sexual jokes at a conference unprofessional? Yes, but it's unprofessional regardless of the gender of anyone or everyone in earshot. Whether it's unprofessional enough to justify: "You will be gone. Gone." "Count on it." is quite clearly a subjective…
There is absolutely no point to this statement. Inappropriate comments do not need to be tied to a particular group of people.
> there is no particular reason to say that women are somehow traumitized [sic] by the mere mention of sexuality.
Thanks for the man-splaining. Are you, by chance, on a tour of inner city high schools telling black kids about how affirmative action is unfair to white people?
> Yes, but it's unprofessional regardless of the gender of anyone or everyone in earshot.
Oh ok, so you're fine with an offensive joke being offensive, you just have an issue with the fact that a woman brought it up. Got it.
> All I can say is, don't invite me to represent at any event you put on. Being professional is one matter, catering to PC bullshit in the misguided belief that you can avoid even the remotest possibility of offending someone, is quite something else.
Mommy, help! They're taking away my boys club!!
It comes down to "you choose how you feel". There is nothing I can do to make you choose a different feeling so I dont' need to bother trying.
Needless to say, you gotta be smart and avoid or apologize if you can help it, but in my opinion, the whole pycon situation would not be a big deal if everybody understood that concept.
1. States known facts incorrectly showing poor research (Alex Reid was not the PlayHaven developer fired and so this statement is almost certainly not what he wanted to be saying The event I'm referring to is the fiasco at PyCon involving Adria Richards, Alex Reid, Playhaven, and SendGrid.(http://blog.playhaven.com/addressing-pycon/)
2. Recommends placing women on pedestal
3. Recommends taking women off pedestal
4. Ends by recommending women be placed back on pedestal Perhaps the reason we've had so much trouble maturing is that we don't have enough women to help us make the transition from child to adult. Their attitudes, their ways of thinking, different from ours, may be the very things we need to complete us as an industry, and a profession, and as a craft. It seems to me we need these women in order for our profession to become a profession.
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IMO, this comes from the ideology that the reason underprivileged groups are underprivileged is because of negative social expectations that have a negative subconscious effect on their performance. I don't find it completely convincing (there is much evidence which refutes it), but there are some small experimental studies which support it. I find it plausible that in a group where the minority is extremely small th…
What "small experimental studies" are you referring to? This entire comment was a dismissive appeal to authority.
I went to school for a female-dominated profession (yes, there are quite a few out there where the balance goes the other way). I can assure you that if you find the things men say offensive, you haven't heard anything... I want to add the caveat that I am NOT attempting to appeal to hypocrisy. While I agree that there is a limit, I don't see how calling languages "estrogen" is offensive and I don't understand how ca…
No. Ellen Degeneres or The Voice or any of the other false equivalences you're desperately reaching to make is not the professional technical workplace. If you run in any of my technical circles, put on a technical presentation, or otherwise represent at a technical conference, and you make "jokes" that are sexual innuendos of any kind or are otherwise unprofessional.... You will be gone. Gone. Count on it. The tech…
I get people aren't 100% politically correct. I'm black and some people still panic when the word "nigga" plays on their speakers. I know its a song, not KKK propaganda, and I'm not going to give a lawsuit for "oppressing" me with your taste of music. I think its important to consider people's intents for their action. I think thats crucial for maintaining the "hippie" culture of Silicon Valley. I'm a grown man and I know women have periods and men have dicks. You know what pisses me off more than sex jokes? Cat Jokes. I fucking hate cats. If I can keep myself composed over a shitty 5 second cat joke, I think most people can make it through a man saying a woman has a "cute navy hat."
Lastly, I understand there are lines however. The CouchDB porn star talk was way over the line. That is something I don't even understand how most guys would be comfortable with. All I'm saying is we should recognize when people are being hyper sensitive and when people are really being insensitive.