I don't want to trivialize the power of such a trigger and the strong emotional states they may bring about. But you are arguing sensitivity and general discourse, for which I agree, these comments were misplaced.
In the underlying argument "What makes it sexist", you seem to imply if the person set off by the trigger is a woman, then the initial statement was sexist. Which is a little broad for my liking.
As for sensitivity, Imagine for a second a victim of prison rape (of which there are unfortunately many cases). I could imagine someone like that having an extremely sensitive reaction to any 'gay' word or image. Should we therefore limit the right of gays to express their affection, out of fear they might offend said people.