I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

With calling yourself a loser, I bet you're full of self doubt.

I've been paying the bills with my startups for over 7 years, and I still drown in self doubt.

A technique I've used to short circuit that thinking is simply this: Ask yourself every day, "How can I accomplish this?"

For some reason, forcing myself to ask the question How, crowds out the doubt. My mind starts cranking on solving problems rather than worrying about my ineptitude.

I'm always impressed by how well just putting myself into a problem solving mood works.

It was awesome to see Daniel Pink's most recent book, To Sell is Human, explore this. He showed studies of how a group of people who were put into a "self-questioning" mindset solved 50% more puzzles than a rather than folks in a "self-affirming" mindset.

Sure, there are many examples of projects which started as a developer solving a problem for themselves. However, the ones that still exist are the ones that solved problems for other people at the same time. If you want to be successful you have to look outside the microcosm of yourself and figure out what other people's need are. If you are lucky there will be other people who have exactly the same needs as yourself.

If I am understanding the OP correctly, he is not looking to be an incredible hacker; he is looking to be an entrepreneur. If you want to be a successful entrepreneur you have to follow the market. You have to. There is no other way. If people are not willing to give you their money, you have to do something else or you fail. I completely agree that you have to be passionate about making things, but you definitely don't have to be passionate about making new things, or even exciting things. These things are awesome bonuses, but they are not requirements.

Entrepreneurship is about creating value for other people. It is often not fun and is quite often very uncomfortable. There are moments of dread, hopelessness, and fear. You can reduce the number of these moments by building a company which definitely solves other people's problems.

Good luck, I know you feel. I'm almost 30 and starting to feel the same. Then, let's do something to change this.

Feel free to contact me if you need something, if there is something that I can do to help you.

I've spent 2 Months in Geneva in 2008 and I found that your country is pretty open towards strangers and nerds. Lauseanne is also great. In that regard, you're lucky that you live in Switzerland :)

I was single during my trip to Geneva. So I filled my backpack with beer cans and decided to spend the whole evening until midnight away from home. I just walked around and asked random strangers where I might go to spend a nice evening. I gave a can of beer to everyone who was nice towards me. At around 22:00, some random dude invited me to a party where I spent the rest of the night.

I noticed that many people (especially girls) in Geneva feel like no one really listens to them. If you are somewhat nice towards people, show some interest in them and are willing to just listen and let them tell you about their life, you'll be astonished by how easy it is to make new friends :)

As for your goals:

Ask people for their advice on how you might reach your goals. Most of them will give you bullshit, because they have no clue, but you might just get lucky and meet someone who can either help you or give you great advice. Play on that luck by asking A LOT of people :)

Cheers, Hajo

I've been coding since age 14. I got my first real programming job at age 16 writing medical software. Sure, I wasn't as good as people twice my age... but $20/hour at age 16 in 1986 wasn't bad.

You know what? I quit being amazed that other people could learn to code a long time ago. I've seen children, old people, blind people, and even almost illiterate people learn to code. There was always someone telling them it was a waste of time or they didn't have the aptitude because if they did, they already would be able to program.

To be a coder, all it takes is writing code that works (what works at ABC Widget Co might be different than Mountain View Startup Co).

When I was asked to manage, I learned that less experienced coders are often more productive than more older, more experienced ones. I also learned that some of the best and most productive of all came in a 8 and left at 4:30 and flat out refused to work stupid hours. They had lives and they learned to work smarter and more intensely than others so they could go home to whatever it was they really loved to do.

If someone wants to be a programmer when they grow up, even if they are 40 or 50 when they start the journey... encourage them. As for qisine... I wish him well on his journey. Programming has been good to me.