Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ok. I believe you. You are also not approaching any sort of "last chance" for a tech career.
OK, as another posted put it well, that line was "too melodramatic". Apologies. I do admit that I'm a bit desperate.
I don't care what you want to call it; "depression", "desperation", "determination". All I can tell you is that if you are convinced (not "worried"; we all worry sometimes) that you're a "loser" or that this is your "last chance" to do something meaningful, that's not normal. If you were a friend of mine, I'd be hassling you to find a professional you could trust to work that stuff out.
Hey, either way: best of luck to you. Your career will be fine.