If you're unhappy with your life, but despite that feeling you're unable to change things, it could be a strong indicator for depression. Dreamer, loser and loner reads like lack of motivation, low self-esteem and loneliness. All symptoms of depression. I've been through this myself and while I couldn't see it for a long time, now I know life is full of joy and opportunity, there is really no need for anyone to describe himself as a loser. Depression is not a character flaw, it's a disease. I can only encourage you to seek for psychological help. You don't have to be ashamed and you can only win by doing so.
I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
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Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#72I'd like to recommend a book for you: The War of Art
http://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/19...
It's a very short book, but it may change your life. Read it twice. It is for procrastinators. I'm one of the worst there is, yet this book has helped me tremendously, and helped a ton of others as well.
Good luck
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#73I have been a dreamer all my life. It took me until last year to figure this out, and only thanks to this community. Great. Dreaming is necessary but not sufficient for great accomplishments. Glad you're one of us. I hardly ever tried - and when I tried, I didn't persist. It has been my goal to start a business since ever I can remember. And yet I never really tried (until last year, which resulted in abysmal failure…
Damn, what can I say? Thanks man! Will take your advise to heart. My post probably came across as a bit too much whinging. Will make sure that I deliver stuff from now on, rather than empty talk.
Good luck =)
The longest journey begins with a single step.
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#74I have been a dreamer all my life. It took me until last year to figure this out, and only thanks to this community. Great. Dreaming is necessary but not sufficient for great accomplishments. Glad you're one of us. I hardly ever tried - and when I tried, I didn't persist. It has been my goal to start a business since ever I can remember. And yet I never really tried (until last year, which resulted in abysmal failure…
Dreaming is necessary but not sufficient for great accomplishments.
This reminds me of a great line I ran into somewhere: "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
EDITED to add: ah, through the magic of the Web I discover that this quote is from Thoreau. I've corrected my misquotation.
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#75Take baby steps. Whatever you do, start with something small. A project you can finish in not more than 2 months would be ideal.
If you want to establish a business, don't invent something new, pick an existing business and compete. Pick a business that interest you, and you think you are passionate enough to stay with it. Running a business is a marathon and not a sprint.
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#76First, who are you accountable to? Saying "HN" is too easy. Find someone who will keep you on track with this. A close friend/significant other is a good start. Second, what's your plan? I didn't see one. You need to have some objective metric you will be accountable to. Finally, be careful what definition of success you accept. Dont pin your self-esteem on this new change. You don't want that kind of pressure. HN is…
> First, who are you accountable to? Saying "HN" is too easy. Find someone who will keep you on track with this.
Actually, I already found someone. Right before posting this. It was my motivation to "come out" in the first place.
> Second, what's your plan? Start building stuff. Starting tomorrow morning.
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#77Good luck Stefan. Just keep trying. I've had lots of failures, but ya just gotta keep at it.
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#78Hey Stefan,
Take it or leave it, but I started www.Earbits.com 3 years ago, when I was 32 years old. For all of my professional experience, so little of it has helped me prepare for the challenges of building Earbits. My co-founder is one year older than me and his professional experience before Earbits was almost exclusively music production and composition. Now, not only does he manage the music department of Earbits, but most of our sales, editorial content, accounting, and frankly, he is the yin to my yang that balances out Earbits in so many ways.
30 is a great age to start something new and significant. The first startup I worked for took 5 years to sell for $15M. You could be retired by 35. Get on it. If you want to chat, email me. -Joey
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#79[deleted]
Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now
#80I don't have too much time left. My 20ies are gone.
This, and I mean it in a kind way, is totally batshit absurd and thinking this way will only hold you back. I know the feeling. I felt it myself and spun my wheels for years because of it.
When I turned 30, I had just graduated from business school (which I went to because I couldn't figure out what to do with my life). I had never built a real piece of software, and object oriented programming seemed to be too much for me - I too had started that journey with C++ and failed. (For me, it was Ruby that made it click, for what it's worth).
So here I am, 30, with some interest in technology with an MBA and no programming skill. I truly thought I had wasted the last 8 years of my life since college. What was I doing during those years. I was working at NASA. On the Hubble Space Telescope. I was paid to scuba dive with astronauts and build hardware that would fly in space. I own not one, but TWO pieces of the actual Hubble Space Telescope that flew in space. Looking back, that job was a dream come true - jobs do not get much better. But at 30, looking forward I thought it had all been a waste of time - my 20's were gone, and I was woefully unprepared for the business I wanted to start. There were people smarter, younger, and more successful than me everywhere I looked.
It was a ridiculous way to think for me, and it is for you too. Enjoy life, and don't compare your inside to someone else's outside.