I Resent My Cofounder

I could not agree more with this. As someone who functions at 100% or nothing, it is unbelievably helpful to have someone who is more stable. When I am going there is no stopping, pretty much everything is put aside whether it be eating, sleeping, exercise, seeing friends or anything else. But when all that stuff that I put aside finally catches up to me and I need some time to recharge, I am so glad to have people around me who are stable and able to keep things going. I think having people who bring both enthusiasm and stability is really important. When crunch time comes it's great to have people willing to lay it all out there to get what needs to be done regardless of what that entails, but at the same time having people who you know will be steady and reliable is really important because a company without consistency is normally destined to fail.

I'm pondering your thoughts before replying fully, but I did want to say that I had the same thoughts on output, so I've been measuring it for the past several months. Subjective I'm sure, but I'm shipping 5-10x more code, judging by our repo, and on top of that I'm managing the bizdev side 100%.

When I say it like that, it actually sound like our business is one-sided, but it isn't. Maybe I should find some way to measure value qualitatively.

1. Have the conversation in a public place where professionals meet. For example, coffee shops. If you in the bay area, it would be best to have it in coffee shops known for startup discussions, such as Coupa Coffee in Palo Alto. Just choosing the right place for the conversation will make sure that the discussion does not go out of hand. 2. Come to the discussion with an open frame of mind. There may be some issues that she is feeling - you should be willing to listen. 3. Alert her in advance about the general topic you want to talk about. So that she is not surprised and is mentally prepared. 4. During the discussion, make sure to lay out specific behaviors/situations/examples that you find objectionable, and listen to what she has to say. Again, be open - perhaps there is another piece of the puzzle here that you have thought about fully, and she explains it to you. Example: "I put in 60-70 hours per week" is a very general statement. A specific statement would be "Last week, we launched feature F. I did X, Y, Z tasks over night to make the launch successful. However, you contribution over that week was only implementing a simple bug fix B. I would like to listen to you to know how can I help you contribute more to the project." 5. You may have some counterpoints to the arguments she makes. Be specific and encourage her to be specific. Hopefully after some time you'll sort it out amicably and you both have a good understanding of how each other works. 6. Contrary to what others have said, I would not bring a third-party to the discussion. You need to own resolving this problem. Getting third-party involved too quickly can be detrimental - they don't know the situation as much as both of you do. Most problems like these can be solved by honest and open communication.

Good luck!

Someone here has suggested talking to a lawyer, but that's a big step for friends especially as this is the start.

Another suggested getting in a third party. This is a good start, and you should offer some small equity in the process. Firstly that allows you to renegotiate your share, secondly, it changes the power balance, and thirdly (and perhaps more strategically so keep this as the ace hand) you can plant the seed of walking. This last point is very important because it communicates that you are prepared to take a project that you appear to have built, elsewhere, and that they will end up having to do everything if they want to continue as competitor.

The reason for the salaries is that we both quit our jobs to do this full-time and have families to support.