Adderall Addiction: The Last All-Nighter

Adderall occasionally wouldn't help me complete the tasks I have to complete. I take it as the doctor has prescribed it to me. I make sure to take breaks from it (and I schedule those with work, so they know that during that week/two weeks I am going to be distracted, have trouble concentrating and it is best to let me be and bite into a hard problem and figure it all out). I have been taking the same dose for a year now, I know its effects, I know how it affects me.

I don't use Adderall as a pick-me-up, or to cram for an exam, I use it as a daily medicine because it helps me do my work. Please don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do, or that my job is not for me. I love the work I do, I enjoy working with the people I work with and learn more than I could have ever imagined. Adderall helps me through the non-exciting parts, it helps me keep focused in design meetings, it helps me keep focused on finishing the last part of the project where there is no challenge left, it helps me be able to think clearly and reason without being distracted by other projects and things I enjoy.

The only reason I think that without Adderall I would have lost my job is that it allowed me to do all those other tasks that were not interesting that still need doing. A worker that can do the hard tasks but leaves projects unfinished is useless. When a worker can't even stay focused long enough on work to be a participant in a meeting regarding new features/design that is a problem, especially when writing new software. I can learn new technologies and pick things up almost instantly, I can see my code, see how things fit together, but once the hard part is done and the rest is just rote coding, my mind goes onto new and better things. Adderall lets me focus on writing good API documentation, it lets me focus on designing the last 10% of a library to be excellent.

I don't know how to explain it to you. You have your notions of Adderall and how it should be used, and I doubt a comment from a fairly faceless person will persuade you one way or another. What I do know is that Adderall has helped me tremendously, and has helped me accomplish things I didn't think I was capable of before.

(To be clear, I'm not a medical professional)

The thing is, if you are taking adderall because it "super charges" you, you are taking it for the wrong reasons. People with adhd (like myself) have to take adderall so that we can compete on a level playing field. There is nothing we can really do to self motivate and study. Without my meds I can not retain the information that I read. Without my meds I cant motivate myself to sit down and program because I cant concentrate and conceptualize the model im trying to write in code.

Adderall can be an invaluable tool for somebody who doesnt stand a chance without it, but it can take control of somebody who doesnt have a good enough reason to maintain self control and moderate their usage. The adhd mindset is a very awkward and uncomfortable feeling. Abusing our medication means we have to go back into that mindset and it sucks, therefore its easier to not let it become a craving addiction.

Also the zombie feeling the kid was talking about, is due to the fact that he is taking too high of a dose. Either that or he would be better off on ritalin or strattera. Each specific case of adhd is somewhat different and the underlying cause may be served by a different treatment due to the difference reactions the drugs have in the brain. (Adderall increases dopamine and prevents it reuptake. Ritalin, just prevents the reuptake, etc).

John Ratey (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Ratey), the professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who wrote Driven to Distration, recently published a book called Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain (http://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-B...).

Spark details how high-intensity cardio (like sprints or interval training) put your brain chemicals in balance in part by generating BDNF (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain-derived_neurotrophic_fact...), which as Ratey describes, it's like "Miracle-gro" for the brain.

Last year my stress levels were getting out of control from working too much. At the time I was running at least two miles every day so it's not like I wasn't exercising. But then one day I changed from running a couple miles to running 50-yard sprints, as fast and as hard as I could push myself. The first day I only ran four sprints, but I felt euphoric the rest of the day -- the best I had felt in years. So I tried it again a couple days later, and sure enough it worked again -- I felt amazing.

So then I had to find out why this worked -- why a few sprints were so much more effective than running several miles. I started Googling and eventually found Ratey's book -- it explains the entire biochemical process of what's going on and why sprinting works.

It's an eye-opening read. Each chapter covers how high-intensity cardio affects things like stress, anxiety, depression, ADHD. I have ADHD but haven't taken anything for it in years (since I was in college), and I can attest that sprints not only fixed by stress levels, but my ADHD symptoms were almost non existent.

Here's a key point that Ratey makes throughout the book that completely changed my perspective on things -- he says that instead of thinking of exercise as something you should do to look good and build a healthy body, you should instead think of exercise as the key to building a healthy brain:

"We all know that exercise makes us feel better, but most of us have no idea why. We assume it’s because we’re burning off stress or reducing muscle tension or boosting endorphins, and we leave it at that. But the real reason we feel so good when we get our blood pumping is that it makes the brain function at its best" (http://www.sparkinglife.org).

In the book's introduction he goes on to say, "Building muscles and conditioning the heart and lungs are essentially side effects. I often tell my patients that the point of exercise is to build and condition the brain."

In fact the brain exercise routine he recommends is similar to a weight workout routine, in that you have to push yourself hard one day, and then take a day off to let your brain recover, just like in weight training. Another key is when you sprint, always put everything you have into it. Run as fast and as hard as you can so you are constantly pushing your body and your brain past their limitations -- this is the key to growth.

* If you have ADD and it is working for you and you are happy, ignore this shit and do what you need to do.

* If you have ADD and take it, but you don't like how you feel while you are on it, talk to your doc and have him/her help wean you off of it or find a different dose or med.

* If you are fat or not but don't get enough exercise, please get exercise and stop eating fast food and drinking any kind of soda (diet is just as bad). I am overweight now and have been normal weight before when I've exercised regularly and it made a big difference both cognitively and with energy, etc. I need to do that again. I learned the hard way not to diet though. It worked but it is true what they say; you gain it back +10 lbs (or more).

* Replace soda with coffee or tea, even if you hate them. I really hated them. I feel much better not drinking diet sodas constantly. Try to eliminate caffeine if you can.

* Try eliminating/limiting aluminum (drinking from cans, using hair products with aluminum, etc.). (May be unnecessary, but lower your Alzheimer's risk.)

* Try taking daily vitamins (Centrum, etc.), Fish/cod oil pills. Consider taking a baby aspirin each day if you are 40+. Don't overdose on daily recommended intake, even when sick! Some things can be really bad. Don't overdose on ginko, etc. either!

* There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your best, but you'll be your best when you aren't cheating and hurting yourself, and that is as good as you need to be. Even if you think you will get shot or people will die if you don't take stimulants, you can stop and it will be better- for everyone.

* Talk to an ENT about sleep apnea. Losing weight is key no matter what, maybe stop drinking water and eating before bedtime, and no blue light or monitors or T.V. for a few hours before your 8-9 hours sleep. But after you do all that, if you snore or don't dream regularly and feel like crap and hate your job, get help.

If you are like me, you have done a lot of this because you think you deserve it. I feel on a regular basis like I don't deserve to have what I have and that I'm a failure. In many ways, I am a failure; but mostly because I'm doing it to myself. I eat too much. I don't exercise. I hate my job. I think I should die. I feel like I need the food so my brain won't get distracted by being hungry. I feel like I don't have time to exercise. I feel like it is my fault that I hate my job. But, all that is crap. I need to take care of myself, and so do you! Just go on a short walk tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Eat 1/2 as much as normal if you eat too much. Drink less caffeine. Talk to your doc about changing your meds or anything at all that you're worried about. Get a hobby and get outside more. Make friends that do healthy things. Get a job where you can live healthier and work a normal workweek.