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We Found Our Son in the Subway

opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com

61–70 of 182 posts

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#61

Great story. Can someone explain why this belongs on HN?

While I agree with this sentiment... I also enjoyed and upvoted the article. :)

This might be one of those "just let go and either ignore or enjoy it" things. People complain a lot about non-tech/business articles on HN, but they're not going away... and really, does it matter?

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#62
post #57

Ugh. This yanked a couple of thug tears outta me. And for those wondering what place this has on HN, I actually read HN for interesting, often-not-technically-related news.

I actually read HN for the thug tears.

You'll be interested in my new startup idea then:

Thug tears—inna bottle! On the internet.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#65
post #30

Love the story. When we talk about gay marriage and adoption I always need to query a little more, especially about the kids. What's about Kevin ? His life is "perfectly normal" (how stupid is this expression) ? He is happy ? Does he have problem with his sexuality ? Do anybody have any experience to share ? Please to be obvious, in neither way... (Why this is on HN ? Well, because I believe that HN is one of the bes…

I do think this is an interesting question however unpolitically-correct it will be. A lot of our notions about sexuality seem to be at least somewhat cultural considering how drastically they've changed from ancient times until now, so it seems plausible that it would change your view of sexuality. It's unfortunate that investigating this sort of thing is dog whistling for homophobia. One of my friends in college co…

Perceptions of sexuality are deeply cultural. In general the evolution there seems to be towards the more restrictive/puritan.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#66
post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Does he have problem with his sexuality ? You may not be aware of this, but this question will likely get you downvoted as it will be perceived as homophobia (or at least heteronormativity).

Which is a shame really. Someone's open-minded curiosity shouldn't be cast aside because of a hypothesis that is politically incorrect.

This. My own uninformed prejudices are towards "parents > no parents", but I'd prefer to actually know rather than guessing.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#67
post #52

Sound reasonable to me. That judge is probably a parent. I suspect most parents understand: if we waited to be "ready", nobody would ever be a parent. Conventional parents get months and months of notice. If they're like me, they're still nowhere close to "ready". It's terrifying. But you, and these guys, and everyone else just do what we've been doing for hundreds of thousands of years.

"But you, and these guys, and everyone else just do what we've been doing for hundreds of thousands of years."

I don't mean to scare you, but that is the mother of all sampling bias (to quote xkcd). The parents that don't do so well, generally have a smaller chance of being grandparents. I'm sure all of you reading this will do just fine though.

I also need to say that that judge was awesome.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#68
post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Does he have problem with his sexuality ? You may not be aware of this, but this question will likely get you downvoted as it will be perceived as homophobia (or at least heteronormativity).

Which is a shame really. Someone's open-minded curiosity shouldn't be cast aside because of a hypothesis that is politically incorrect.

I consider "political correctness" to be the sort of back-bending linguistic contortionism typical of politicians and PR departments terrified of offending anyone. That's not what's going on here. I'm gay, and while I don't have children, the idea that, were I to adopt one, I'd risk sexually damaging said child with my gayness is offensive. Can you imagine the reaction there would be to someone asking a parallel question about race ("Does the white child adopted by black parents have problems with his racial identity?").

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#69

Ugh. This yanked a couple of thug tears outta me. And for those wondering what place this has on HN, I actually read HN for interesting, often-not-technically-related news.

This got me too. And there hasn't been much that moves me to a few tears in many years now. My two daughters born are about the only things. That's probably why, i'm a big softie for kids now.
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