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We Found Our Son in the Subway

opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com

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Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#51

Post by natrius »

westward wrote: post #34
siscia wrote: post #30

Love the story. When we talk about gay marriage and adoption I always need to query a little more, especially about the kids. What's about Kevin ? His life is "perfectly normal" (how stupid is this expression) ? He is happy ? Does he have problem with his sexuality ? Do anybody have any experience to share ? Please to be obvious, in neither way... (Why this is on HN ? Well, because I believe that HN is one of the bes…

>Does he have problem with his sexuality ? You may not be aware of this, but this question will likely get you downvoted as it will be perceived as homophobia (or at least heteronormativity).

Which is a shame really. Someone's open-minded curiosity shouldn't be cast aside because of a hypothesis that is politically incorrect.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#52

Post by tptacek »

Sound reasonable to me. That judge is probably a parent. I suspect most parents understand: if we waited to be "ready", nobody would ever be a parent. Conventional parents get months and months of notice. If they're like me, they're still nowhere close to "ready". It's terrifying. But you, and these guys, and everyone else just do what we've been doing for hundreds of thousands of years.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#53

Post by tptacek »

mrb wrote: post #31

It seems to be a fictional story. The author is a playwright and a screenwriter. No last names are given (except the author), and the desire for anonymity is not explicitly stated. I am surprised the NYT Editor did not ask the author to make it clear if it is a fictional or real story.

This objection is beyond silly, but here's another writeup, not from this author, for Parents magazine.

http://www.parents.com/parenting/adoption/stories/adoption-s...

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#54

Post by moultano »

siscia wrote: post #30

Love the story. When we talk about gay marriage and adoption I always need to query a little more, especially about the kids. What's about Kevin ? His life is "perfectly normal" (how stupid is this expression) ? He is happy ? Does he have problem with his sexuality ? Do anybody have any experience to share ? Please to be obvious, in neither way... (Why this is on HN ? Well, because I believe that HN is one of the bes…

I do think this is an interesting question however unpolitically-correct it will be. A lot of our notions about sexuality seem to be at least somewhat cultural considering how drastically they've changed from ancient times until now, so it seems plausible that it would change your view of sexuality. It's unfortunate that investigating this sort of thing is dog whistling for homophobia.

One of my friends in college considered herself to be a lesbian, had a long term girlfriend, and had been raised by lesbian parents. She's now happily married to a man and considers herself bisexual. I wouldn't be surprised if someone more to the middle of the sexual spectrum were more likely to act on same sex desires if they have parents as an example.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#55

Post by zeidrich »

siscia wrote: post #30

Love the story. When we talk about gay marriage and adoption I always need to query a little more, especially about the kids. What's about Kevin ? His life is "perfectly normal" (how stupid is this expression) ? He is happy ? Does he have problem with his sexuality ? Do anybody have any experience to share ? Please to be obvious, in neither way... (Why this is on HN ? Well, because I believe that HN is one of the bes…

The child is better off than he would have been had he been left in the subway. Kids need most of all someone who will go out of their way to keep them safe and healthy.

He had parents who were presumably a man and a woman. They left him in a bundle in a subway.

He had parents who were a man and a man. They dropped everything in their life and rearranged it so they could save a stranger's baby who only needed to be taken care of.

What's the point of even questioning his sexuality? He's prepubescent, he's not got a problem with his sexuality because he doesn't even have a sexuality.

I do know he will have grown up with parents who were not 'normal', but who were tolerant enough to sacrifice their whole quality of life for the baby of a stranger, of another race, of whom they knew absolutely no history. He could have had fetal alcohol syndrome, he could have been a crack baby, he could have been broken in many imaginable ways. Instead, they took this baby, they stood by it even when the 911 operator didn't believe their story, they made sure it was looked after, and when asked they agreed to raise it without hesitation.

These are upstanding people. Nothing indicates that homosexuality is contagious, but even if the kid does end up gay due to his upbringing, then what of it? It didn't stop his parent's from being upstanding people. Being straight didn't make his birth parents paragons of virtue.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#56

Post by javajosh »

Geekette wrote: post #44

Ugh. This yanked a couple of thug tears outta me. And for those wondering what place this has on HN, I actually read HN for interesting, often-not-technically-related news.

Yeah, my eyes watered a bit, too. Probably the the perfume of all the hotties hanging off me while I read the article.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#58

Post by sixofhearts »

Geekette wrote: post #44

Ugh. This yanked a couple of thug tears outta me. And for those wondering what place this has on HN, I actually read HN for interesting, often-not-technically-related news.

My first non-congratulating HN comment ever is to completely agree with you. Valuable insights come from all different kinds of stories. I'm glad this community recognizes that, and what a wonderful piece this is.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#60

Post by mrb »

scott_s wrote: post #49
mrb wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To me, it is unclear if the first-person narrative is a literary device, or refers to the author. I am really confused. I wish someone could clarify.

That's my point: columns in the NYT are non-fiction.

Ok, thanks. I was not aware.
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