The birth is the easy part.
What it's like having a kid
31–40 of 62 posts
Re: What it's like having a kid
#32> it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural I never really understood this. It wasn't natural for me to have surgery less than a month after I was born, either, but without it I'd be dead now.
A number of things happen with an epidural that are kind of a big deal. 1. The baby is affected by the epidural, which can result in several days of grogginess, increased difficulty in establishing breast feeding, etc. 2. There is a natural amnesia for the pain of childbirth. If you get an epidural that effect gets dropped. So there may be less pain, but the woman tends to remember it more clearly. 3. An epidural gre…
Exactly. When people ask about the two home births we had, they often respond with "oh no, but what would you have done if things went wrong? How could you do that to your kid? What if there were complications??"
People just refuse to realize that so-called complications that were not pre-screened by a midwife or doctor happen BECAUSE you have a hospital birth. We then get told "my friend just gave birth and the baby was not breathing, thank god they were at the hospital!". Of course these mothers usually get epidural, which shut down their body, leading to prolonged births (doctors LOVE to wait for you to push:), suctions, etc. Impatient doctors cause far more complications and put more babies in danger than a midwife assisting a true home birth.
Re: What it's like having a kid
#33Well, that was graphic.
Anyway. Good job on the kid. I'm 14, so I don't think I'm fit to give any sort of parenting advice or the like of it. Just enjoy the beauty of youth (and also try to endure much of the ugliness that tends to come with it).
Re: What it's like having a kid
#34Congratulations. Nothing you have ever done will prepare you for what follows. Protip: Babies that have issues with sleeping sometimes benefit from loud background noises being played. This due to them being used to all of the noises being produced by their mother's internal organs. You can try putting a radio off a station (for the whitenoise) and raising it to 11 . Or maybe a vacuum cleaner. With my child, the radi…
Why is it that nearly everyone who has children feels the need to impart birthing advice on expectant parents, and child-rearing advice to new parents? The only advice I give now is to ignore all the advice everyone else gives.
Child-rearing? Yeah, I wish someone would have told me about that trick before I had to endure almost three months of almost no sleep (due to the baby crying).Having a child is stressful as fuck. Just trying to help others going through that phase.
Re: What it's like having a kid
#35As someone who spent six years trying to conceive and failed, reading this post makes me feel really bad. I'd point out that it's not Hacker News, but I'd have to do that for 50% of the posts on the front page at any given time.
I'm sorry that you have gone through this.
Re: What it's like having a kid
#36Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want! I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well. Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end. http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/…
Having children is usually a selfish and/or conformist choice. Many people have kids because that's what's expected of them, and because that's what all their friends and family are doing. They also usually hope to be less lonely with kids, have their kids support or take care of them when they're older, be able to mold their kids to be like them or further their goals, and have a sort of existence after their deaths…
Well, I'm glad my mom was not dating you.
Re: What it's like having a kid
#37> it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural I never really understood this. It wasn't natural for me to have surgery less than a month after I was born, either, but without it I'd be dead now.
A number of things happen with an epidural that are kind of a big deal. 1. The baby is affected by the epidural, which can result in several days of grogginess, increased difficulty in establishing breast feeding, etc. 2. There is a natural amnesia for the pain of childbirth. If you get an epidural that effect gets dropped. So there may be less pain, but the woman tends to remember it more clearly. 3. An epidural gre…
For anyone else looking to learn about what to expect during childbirth, let me recommend Erica Lyon's "The Big Book of Birth."
http://www.amazon.ca/The-Book-Birth-Erica-Lyon/dp/0452287685
As the reviews suggest she tries to present all of the information objectively, leaving the reader to make their own decisions.
My wife credits this book with helping to convince her that she could give birth without an epidural.
Re: What it's like having a kid
#38As someone who spent six years trying to conceive and failed, reading this post makes me feel really bad. I'd point out that it's not Hacker News, but I'd have to do that for 50% of the posts on the front page at any given time.
Have you thought about fertility and genetic counseling? (apologies if you already have, I realize this is a very personal and sensitive subject). For what it's worth, my parents conceived twice before I was born, both miscarriages, yet I turned out alright.
Re: What it's like having a kid
#39So let me get this:
- baby's heart rate was of concern to your doctor - no progress for several hours - baby pooped - your wife had fever during labor - baby and mother now have an infection - c-section - big commotion, no communication with the wife
And people still think epidural is a normal part of child birthing?
On top of that - this couple will go on to tell other parents how lucky they were that they gave birth at the hospital! Yet this whole thing happened BECAUSE they thought child birth is a medical event. It's not.
They inject chemicals into a mother about to give birth and then say - well, baby doesn't want to come out, must do c-section (read: doctor wants to go home, doesn't want to rub olive oil around the vagina, let's cut her up).
I feel sorry for mothers who give birth at hospitals. Stories such as these make me so mad. People have no clue.
Re: What it's like having a kid
#40Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want! I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well. Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end. http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/…
While not as sensational, I did once buy into this line of reasoning when it came to procreation. Then I realized that we live in the most peaceful world that's ever existed, with the best medicine/life expectancy, most amazing technology, and with so much yet to discover and further improve life. It's a copout. We're not optimistic, you're pessimistic and cynical. Let others choose the lives they want to live, with…
Besides, it's a false dichotomy. Even rms knows that you can "have kids" without procreating. We have two adopted children — from the same mother — and believe me, you get the full experience. We were also lucky enough to be present for the births (I have unspeakable respect for those parents who foster or adopt older children), and we have kept up a relationship with the birth mother (who has three other kids).
Anyway, congratulations to the OP! But really — I thought this was going to be about "having a baby." Post again in the fall, sir, and then tell us about "having a baby." ;)
All the best.
Obligatory pictures
http://gavinpc.com/static/pumpkins.jpg http://gavinpc.com/static/pajamas.jpg
