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What it's like having a kid

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Re: What it's like having a kid

#2
Just experienced this a month ago as the man as well. "Intense" is the only reasonable word I could possibly use to describe the experience. I can't even imagine going through it from the other side as a woman and, oh man, the things we leave out when educating people about giving birth. Fatherhood is pretty cool so far though!

Re: What it's like having a kid

#4

> it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural I never really understood this. It wasn't natural for me to have surgery less than a month after I was born, either, but without it I'd be dead now.

> We had debated the decision of receiving an epidural a great deal because some believe it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural and I’d put us at a midrange granola level with our lives in general, but we decided that for us, for her, it was the right thing to do.

I'm also confused. Is this a decision that is made as a couple?

Re: What it's like having a kid

#5

> it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural I never really understood this. It wasn't natural for me to have surgery less than a month after I was born, either, but without it I'd be dead now.

A number of things happen with an epidural that are kind of a big deal.

1. The baby is affected by the epidural, which can result in several days of grogginess, increased difficulty in establishing breast feeding, etc.

2. There is a natural amnesia for the pain of childbirth. If you get an epidural that effect gets dropped. So there may be less pain, but the woman tends to remember it more clearly.

3. An epidural greatly limits the mother's range of possible positions and activities. For example squatting in a shower can be great for progress, but you can't do it if your legs don't work properly.

4. One intervention leads to another. An epidural slows the birthing process, and massively increases your likelihood of further interventions. In the linked article, the woman wound up with a C-section. The odds of that happening would have been considerably less if there had not been an epidural. (Even so, if there is no fetal distress, why the hurry to have a C-section if that had not been discussed? Before the childbirth they should have had a birthing plan, and the doula should have known the mother's wishes and defended them. That's what she's there for...)

That said, natural childbirth is incredibly difficult and not always possible. If a woman wants and is capable of having a natural childbirth, my hat is off to her. But women shouldn't be pushed to do that if they don't want to.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#6

> it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural I never really understood this. It wasn't natural for me to have surgery less than a month after I was born, either, but without it I'd be dead now.

The problem is that "natural" has no precise meaning. You could just as easily argue that epidurals and surgery are both perfectly natural.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#7
Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want!

I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well.

Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end.

http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/wp-content/uploads/2011/...

Re: What it's like having a kid

#8
post #7

Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want! I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well. Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end. http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/…

Precisely and your children will also likely turn out to be the types that make predictions and fail like generations of the past

Re: What it's like having a kid

#9
post #4

> it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural I never really understood this. It wasn't natural for me to have surgery less than a month after I was born, either, but without it I'd be dead now.

> We had debated the decision of receiving an epidural a great deal because some believe it’s not a “natural birth” if you get an epidural and I’d put us at a midrange granola level with our lives in general, but we decided that for us, for her, it was the right thing to do. I'm also confused. Is this a decision that is made as a couple?

Of course. It is not necessary unless you want it for the pain. A doctor might suggest it but it is ultimately a decision made by the couple.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#10
post #7

Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want! I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well. Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end. http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/…

> Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end.

I think this is probably true. A related book is The End of Work by Jeremy Rifkin, which I highly recommend.

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