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What it's like having a kid

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Re: What it's like having a kid

#21

Post by gnu8 »

scoot wrote: post #18
orangethirty wrote: post #16

Congratulations. Nothing you have ever done will prepare you for what follows. Protip: Babies that have issues with sleeping sometimes benefit from loud background noises being played. This due to them being used to all of the noises being produced by their mother's internal organs. You can try putting a radio off a station (for the whitenoise) and raising it to 11 . Or maybe a vacuum cleaner. With my child, the radi…

Why is it that nearly everyone who has children feels the need to impart birthing advice on expectant parents, and child-rearing advice to new parents? The only advice I give now is to ignore all the advice everyone else gives.

Probably because they feel they've succeeded at something really difficult (which is true) and want to show off to the newbies. Coders will do the same thing, but it's not as grating in that context because coding is not something that everyone is capable of doing.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#22

Post by biesnecker »

scoot wrote: post #18
orangethirty wrote: post #16

Congratulations. Nothing you have ever done will prepare you for what follows. Protip: Babies that have issues with sleeping sometimes benefit from loud background noises being played. This due to them being used to all of the noises being produced by their mother's internal organs. You can try putting a radio off a station (for the whitenoise) and raising it to 11 . Or maybe a vacuum cleaner. With my child, the radi…

Why is it that nearly everyone who has children feels the need to impart birthing advice on expectant parents, and child-rearing advice to new parents? The only advice I give now is to ignore all the advice everyone else gives.

Because being a father is the only thing I've ever done that is pretty close to being mystical, and I'm proud of it?

Re: What it's like having a kid

#23

Post by prawn »

krie wrote: post #7

Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want! I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well. Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end. http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/…

If you fail to have your own children, you break a chain of procreating that runs back millions upon millions of years. Interesting to consider.

Have got a six month old. Loving the whole process.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#24

Post by diego »

As someone who spent six years trying to conceive and failed, reading this post makes me feel really bad.

I'd point out that it's not Hacker News, but I'd have to do that for 50% of the posts on the front page at any given time.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#25

Post by purephase »

krie wrote: post #7

Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want! I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well. Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end. http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/…

While not as sensational, I did once buy into this line of reasoning when it came to procreation. Then I realized that we live in the most peaceful world that's ever existed, with the best medicine/life expectancy, most amazing technology, and with so much yet to discover and further improve life.

It's a copout. We're not optimistic, you're pessimistic and cynical. Let others choose the lives they want to live, with whom they want to live them because we only have this one life.

It may not mean much in the long-tail of human experience, but the moment you look into the eyes and hold your own child is one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#26

Post by gnosis »

quasque wrote: post #20
gnosis wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having children is usually a selfish and/or conformist choice. Many people have kids because that's what's expected of them, and because that's what all their friends and family are doing. They also usually hope to be less lonely with kids, have their kids support or take care of them when they're older, be able to mold their kids to be like them or further their goals, and have a sort of existence after their deaths…

"But the kids never asked to be born. As parents, you are essentially forcing life upon another being." This is illogical. They can't ask to be born because they are not born yet. In your argument, the arrow of time is pointing in the wrong direction. And the parents are not forcing life upon a being like some sort of genitals-based Dr Frankenstein rigmarole - they are creating the being.

"They can't ask to be born because they are not born yet."

That's the point. They don't have a choice in the matter. The choice is entirely the parents' (assuming it's not an accident or rape).

Re: What it's like having a kid

#28

Post by jacoblyles »

gnosis wrote: post #15
krie wrote: post #7

Don't have kids. They will have far shittier lives, not to mention shorter, than yours, thanks to the end of cheap fossil fuels. They're also a hundred thousand dollar expense. Do not want! I suppose most of you are so prone to optimist thinking and nurturing your biological urges you won't heed my call. Ah well. Oh, and by the way, the current worldwide depression will never end. http://physics.ucsd.edu/do-the-math/…

Having children is usually a selfish and/or conformist choice. Many people have kids because that's what's expected of them, and because that's what all their friends and family are doing. They also usually hope to be less lonely with kids, have their kids support or take care of them when they're older, be able to mold their kids to be like them or further their goals, and have a sort of existence after their deaths…

Ergo, the universe would be better without life?

This kind of philosophy is baffling to me. How could anyone find it attractive, except for the perverse pleasure you get from trolling other people? And what kind of value is that to base a life on?

Re: What it's like having a kid

#29

Post by MJR »

scoot wrote: post #18
orangethirty wrote: post #16

Congratulations. Nothing you have ever done will prepare you for what follows. Protip: Babies that have issues with sleeping sometimes benefit from loud background noises being played. This due to them being used to all of the noises being produced by their mother's internal organs. You can try putting a radio off a station (for the whitenoise) and raising it to 11 . Or maybe a vacuum cleaner. With my child, the radi…

Why is it that nearly everyone who has children feels the need to impart birthing advice on expectant parents, and child-rearing advice to new parents? The only advice I give now is to ignore all the advice everyone else gives.

Because we as humans share our life's experiences with one another. It's how we learn and grow and become better as a whole and as individuals. If I can share something I've experienced with someone else and it even has a remote chance of helping them deal with something I found difficult - I will do it.

This is why many of us are here on HN. To learn and grow, to gain insights from those who have had experiences that we may have in the future.

The advice I will give is to accept advice graciously and consider it. It is all an advice-giver can ask.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#30

Post by gnosis »

jacoblyles wrote: post #28
gnosis wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having children is usually a selfish and/or conformist choice. Many people have kids because that's what's expected of them, and because that's what all their friends and family are doing. They also usually hope to be less lonely with kids, have their kids support or take care of them when they're older, be able to mold their kids to be like them or further their goals, and have a sort of existence after their deaths…

Ergo, the universe would be better without life? This kind of philosophy is baffling to me. How could anyone find it attractive, except for the perverse pleasure you get from trolling other people? And what kind of value is that to base a life on?

I don't know about there being no life at all, but we could start by having less kids, or at least having a deep second or third thought about it instead of it being the default direction a relationship should take.

Significantly fewer people having kids would sure take a load off this resource-scarce, overcrowded planet. It would help fight poverty, hunger, and war.

If you absolutely must have kids, here's to hoping that you'll at least do it for unselfish reasons -- such as that you sincerely hope (and intend to do everything you can to ensure) that your child will improve the world in some way, rather than having a child for the selfish or conformist reasons I described in my earlier post.

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