321–330 of 347 posts
The really amazing thing about this article is that I'm supposed to care more about this guy's boner, and guilt complex, than I care about the systematic oppression and degradation of my half of the human species. Really . . . What a wanker!
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I'm curious. Why? I have at least 2 daughters (with another child on the way, not sure of the sex) and I want them to be as capable as my son at hacking, changing the oil in their cars, and protecting themselves. This article is timely because the author is on the leading edge of a generation of men whose sexual education during their adolescent years was characterized by unprecedented access to pornography. The worl…
I was sexually abused as a girl and raped as a child. When my sons were little, I was pretty sure I would kill someone if they were molested. I thought quite a lot about it and I do not believe escalating the battle of the sexes towards more violence and protection with guns helps the root problem. I think learning to promote a high standard of consent and mutual respect is a better antidote to our current ills. I sp…
I also want to educate them as to how to avoid dangerous environments, to be street-wise, to avoid frat parties, how to spot an abuser, how to know when a guy is manipulating them, et al. Education is my primary tool, self-defense and knowledge of how to use weapons is a secondary, but necessary, tool.
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1. http://pornharmsresearch.com/2012/08/pornography-viewing-amo... 2. http://pornharmsresearch.com/2012/08/effects-of-womens-porno...
My biggest issue with both of those studies, is that they involve self reports with respect to bystander involvement in an emergency. I can think of few other issues in social psychology in which self reporting is going to be wildly out of touch with reality. The only other area in which I can see self reporting being even further out of turn with reality is the subject of conformity. The biggest factor influencing b…
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I went to AA meetings for a while with someone whose mother was an alcoholic (I don't really remember what this was supposed to accomplish, but...) and the atmosphere was kinda weird... the people there, at least, really did invoke god/jesus/etc a lot, and there was a funny sense they were looking for something to replace the alcohol, and jesus (etc) was a popular candidate... and there was a palpable sense of peer p…
The twelve steps are only suggestions in AA. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking (and that you act reasonably civil towards others in the group) You don't have to believe anything, pay money, look a certain way, there is no authority beyond the immediate consensus of the group. You actually don't even have to stop drinking. The practitioners are fond of helpful aphorisms, repeated almost…
As far as my experience goes in going to meetings with friends and watching their progress (or not), they are made to know that completing the steps is essential to their recovery/stability, even if "suggestions". It is a cultural process. Perhaps ones that can be completed at their leisure and ability, but it's still a ritual considered more require d than suggested.
There are people who watch a huge amount of porn but have a perfectly healthy sex life and relationship with women. It's about understanding what it is and it's context, and realising that there's a difference between that and reality.
This is much easier said than done. Schrödinger's addicts I like to call them.
Does it make sense to teach this to children? Just like "Smoking isn't good for your health."(which I believe worked for me) you could teach "Porn isn't good for you, if you want to enjoy sex."
Porn is an instant pleasure. Enjoying sex in eight years (earlier if you're lucky but don't cross your fingers just yet) does not compare very well to that. I've never tried to smoke so I can't really compare.
I'm glad you've discovered masturbation, but what does this have to do with the topic at hand?
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I think the problem is our society's denigration of sex. We see it as consisting inherently of that mix of thrill and shame - when you're a teenager growing up in America, you're told to feel that way about any nudity, never mind penetration. So you come to associate arousal with this guilt - you never experience the one without the other - and then when you're looking for something to turn you on you're already feel…
I upvoted you, so I think you had some good points. I don't think, however, that our society denigrates sex. I think that what has happened was a cultural response to STDs, and the problem of rearing children. People (in my opinion) naturally pursue what makes them feel good, and sex is our number one feel-good activity. So we've been struggling with how to control it. You see the problems of unrestrained sex now wit…
You seem to not pay attention to our lawmakers, our newsmedia, and have many conversations with the persons around you.
Does it make sense to teach this to children? Just like "Smoking isn't good for your health."(which I believe worked for me) you could teach "Porn isn't good for you, if you want to enjoy sex."
I try not to lie to children, if at all possible.
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I think the problem is our society's denigration of sex. We see it as consisting inherently of that mix of thrill and shame - when you're a teenager growing up in America, you're told to feel that way about any nudity, never mind penetration. So you come to associate arousal with this guilt - you never experience the one without the other - and then when you're looking for something to turn you on you're already feel…
I think the problem is our society's denigration of sex. Is this really true anymore? It seems that the majority of the media consumed by young people carries the message that sex is extremely important and if you are not doing it with everyone in every way, you are brainwashed by religious or moral beliefs. Obviously there is denigration of sex from many sources but which of these sources actually have an impact on…
Sex as necessary for social station is not being sex-positive.
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>Porn is indeed almost a staple of Western society I present to you, old Japanese porn: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dream_of_the_Fisherman%27s... And here's a documentary about ancient Egyptian porn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7HttHvJ8Gc And here's a book about Mesopotamian porn: http://books.google.com.au/books/about/The_erotic_reliefs_of... What I want to say is that porn is not only a staple of Western…
Just because porn existed doesn't mean it was a "staple" of society. It would have been too expensive for the average person to afford. Even 20 years ago porn was too expensive for the average person to afford very much of it.
They could afford it, they could not afford to hoard and stream it at will. The mechanics have not changed significantly, even as we spend more time searching for "novel" mp3s and video.
Do we have a "problem" with Netflix? Pandora? I spend constant (wasted) hours cataloging and retagging my music collection.