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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#271

Post by throwawaymar2 »

true_religion wrote: post #191
_ddkb wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't mean to say dopamine is a drug. Yes dopamine is normal and it increases from many things. The problem is constantly altering it through activities that would not be occuring in nature. The videos I linked to on yourbrainonporn.com really explained it well for me. Maybe you could watch them and let me know what you disagree with. I maybe getting some things mixed up as I don't have a great understanding of th…

I've heard this theory before, but I feel as if were it true we would already have a long series of old wives tales of how the 'studs' are always morose, and its better for newly weds to abstain on occasion rather than follow their flush desires. The orgasms gotten through pornography aren't any stronger than those found 'in nature'---this isn't heroine.

From my own experience, I have to disagree: orgasms with porn as a driving force really are stronger/better than those from masturbation alone or sex.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#272

Post by jdietrich »

_ddkb wrote: post #116
CKKim wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I am addicted to porn"..."I would look about once per week" It seems odd to me that being addicted to porn would go with only looking "about once per week". I think I understand how this could still be technically an addiction, but compared to other addictions and - I imagine - especially porn addictions, it seems rather bizarre. Certainly if pornography was only being consumed once a week then the rate of let's cal…

The definition of addiction I heard that I agree with was something like "An activity that causes an overall negative effect on your life that you do not have control over." This definitely fit with my experience. It was definitely a cycle for me. Alcoholics do not have to have a drink every day to be an alcoholic. In fact, one of the points of the AA program that people need to learn is they are always an alcoholic.…

There's no clear evidence that AA works:

http://summaries.cochrane.org/CD005032/alcoholics-anonymous-....

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#273

Post by dalke »

freshhawk wrote: post #132
dalke wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nope. You can't knee-jerk exclaim "Betteridge's law" when you see a "?". It's meant for news articles. This article is an introspective "life story" article and doesn't meet the preconditions. For example, the previous life story article ending with a question mark on Salon was "Can I date a Republican?", and the clear answer from the article is "yes." The one before that is "Should the terminally ill control their d…

In the case of Betteridge's Law the point being made is that if someone has actual evidence then the headline reflects the evidence. It states the fact that there is new knowledge about something. If it's just speculation or useless fluff then they add a question mark. And yes, it was not made for opinion pieces or personal narratives and, like in the examples you give, doesn't generally work in these situations. My…

I can't tell from your response if you think that Betteridge's Law applies here or not. Betteridge's Law describes articles where an author wants to write a specific story but doesn't have the information to back up the point, and/or doesn't want to do the research to get that information.

That doesn't apply here, because "if he does something about it" is a different cause than not having enough information.

It looks like you say that it "happens to apply here" because 1) the answer is no, and 2) it's "childish link bait." Why not then just say "No. This is childish link bait."?

Suppose the NM governor wrote an op-ed piece "Should I stay the death penalty?", which outlines her ongoing thoughts both for and against commuting the sentence for the last two people on NM's death row. Suppose you are ardently pro-death penalty, support RepealTheRepeal, and believe that only fools would be against it. You could quite justifiably answer "no" to that headline and believe the title to be "childish link bait." But you would be wrong to say that Betteridge's Law applies.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#274

Post by jmathai »

ohwp wrote: post #213
corwinstephen wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On a forum like Hackernews where the purpose of the entire thing is to gain knowledge and expand wisdom, it's perfectly reasonable to expect people not to post things when they have no clue what they're talking about. If the guy had posted an opinion based on fact, it would have been fair game, but this particular opinion was based on nothing more than colloquial beliefs which perpetuate fallacy. In my opinion, he wa…

It's about the tone, not the critique. What VigUi7vv8G2 is saying about dopamine might be correct but his tone is anti-social. He could have left "Oh dear god." and "What the fuck? This is the dumbest thing I've read in a while." out of it and it would have been a perfect helpful response.

Precisely. There's a difference in criticism with the intent of being constructive and that being destructive or only for the purpose of inflating one's ego.

Tone.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#275

Post by npsimons »

guard-of-terra wrote: post #265
npsimons wrote: post #259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dworkin was a big critic of pornography, claiming it caused rape and subjugation of women. While there are undoubtedly some women in porn against their will (or verging on doing it for lack of better options (ie, "for the money")), this point of view completely ignores women who are aware of their options, but choose to do porn and see it as an issue of "their body, their choice".

There is enough porn produced already so if the production ends today there's enough already for most of people. Concerning distribution: is there anybody stupid enough to ask for an never-ending, positional "war on porn"? As if wars on drugs and on pirates wasn't enough

I never paid much attention to Dworkin's arguments, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were people interested in a "war on porn". Never underestimate the human capability to formulate simple "solutions" to complex "problems".

As for the production aspect, as I said, there are women in porn who view it as a women's rights issue, ie who is to say what women can and can't do with their bodies.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#276

Post by jacoblyles »

guard-of-terra wrote: post #246
jacoblyles wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately, as far as I know children of single-parent families do worse in education, earnings, the legal system, and in other ways, so the breakdown of the family has immense social costs. You will notice that the upper class still marries before they have children.

We don't know whether these children will do better or worse in an unhappy married family. And certainly we don't have reasons to think that marriage (the piece of paper) is the casuation for the gap, not merely a correlation.

The most parsimonious way to interpret the data is that divorce is bad for children. But we can add epicycles to some other secular hedonist theory and make it fit.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#277

Post by Mz »

tommorris wrote: post #237

Well, if we're all just going to trade anecdotes at each other, I may as well do so too. Unlike the author of the original piece, I'm happy to use my real name. I looked at porn on the Internet as a teenager. I'm gay and back then I was deep in the closet. And I grew up when Section 28 was still in force. It was a law passed in the 80s that said schools "shall not intentionally promote homosexuality or publish materi…

Thank you for writing. I am pleased to see this as the current top comment. I wrote my own erotica as part of therapy in my twenties, while recovering from child sexual abuse. Generally speaking, porn does little for me, but I am not against it. I believe it plays a vital educational role in society. I think part of why it is such a controversial big deal is because people are so hung up about sex. Thank you for giving testimony to a healthy use of porn in the face of overwhelming societal baggage instead of adding to the cacophany of voices vilifying both porn and their own need in one breathe.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#278

Post by MartinCron »

tinco wrote: post #219
MartinCron wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

More brave than the author of the article, who hid behind a pseudonym.

He is more reckless than the author of the article. It does not benefit anyone that he revealed his identity, and it might affect him negatively. Commendations should be made for his acknowledgement of the addiction, and making it public so others might realize too. I don't think identity has anything to do with this.

It does not benefit anyone that he revealed his identity

Actually, it might. From the original comment: "I won't post anonymously in case anyone wants to contact me" which means that if someone is struggling with a similar addiction, or wants to learn more about it, they can contact him and benefit from the additional information or context.

It might impact him negatively, but it might help others. That's what I mean by saying he's brave.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#279

Post by MartinCron »

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #121
_ddkb wrote: post #85

I know this is outing myself but this is my personal experience. I won't post anonymously in case anyone wants to contact me. I came to the realization about 2 years that I am addicted to porn. For anyone out there struggling with the same thing, it can get better and yes, it is probably having a negative influence on your life. Previously I would look about once per week but in the past 6 months, I have probably vie…

> Each time you view something new, your brain gives a hit of dopamine. Oh dear god. That is not how dopamine works. Dopamine is a chemical that your brain secretes when you are trying to get something, not once you get it - so when you're hungry, for example, you'll have higher dopamine levels. Then when you eat, they go back down. The actual sensation of higher dopamine levels is stress and anxiousness - it actuall…

What the fuck? This is the dumbest thing I've read in a while.

Even if someone is incorrect, I think they deserve a more respectful and constructive response than that. We can do better than that here.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#280

Post by MartinCron »

papsosouid wrote: post #267
rdtsc wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would appreciate it Oh, you would? How dare everyone on the internet not cater to your expectations. Someone from the community shared a story of personal struggle. They didn't hide behind a pseudonym, and it was probably a hard decision for them. They also, did in hopes it would help someone else. They might not have used precise definitions or scientifically correct terms but they were honest and civil and even…

I find it interesting that you characterize his personal opinion as expecting "everyone on the internet to cater to his expectations", while demanding that he cater to your expectations of "politeness". People posting deliberately misleading pseudo-scientific nonsense do not warrant some false amiability. His nonsense needs a firm rebuttal, just as homeopathy and chakras and crystal therapy and all the other quackery…

The expectation of politeness is a meaningful social norm, not just a personal opinion.

Also, politeness and civility isn't the same as false amiability. You can (and should) give firm rebuttals in a civil way. There's nothing false about it.

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