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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#151

Post by Evbn »

jacoblyles wrote: post #61
psykotic wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We have normalized porn very recently and it is just a piece of modernist faith that it is harmless Do you abstain from television, computers, rock and roll, role playing, comic books and video games by this same line of FUD? Mass media has the power to create unrealistic expectations. Someone growing up in the age of Petrarch and Dante had unrealistic expectations of romantic love. It's easy to imagine that someon…

Some of it. For example, the average American watches 5 hours of TV a day. That will kill you. I watch about 1 hour Video games are very addictive to me. After playing Starcraft for 16 hours straight one saturday, I carefully watch and moderate my video game play and have deleted most games from my system. In your battle to live a meaningful, purposeful life, the peddlers of superstimuli are your enemy.

The average American isn't dead, so obviously you didn't say what you meant, if what you meant made sense.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#152

Post by sievert »

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #142
_ddkb wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the article. I'm still trying to learn more about it. However, I would appreciate it if you did not judge me and wrote your response in a more polite manner.

I would appreciate it if people stopped making up or repeating ridiculous pseudo-scientific explanations for whatever it is they want to believe.

I would down-vote you if I had the karma

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#153

Post by gavingmiller »

Falling3 wrote: post #150
_ddkb wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand the 12 step programs are not perfect. No program is perfect. I don't understand your point. Are you trying to say that I'm not addicted? It took me many years to realise that this is an addiction for me but it did help me to admit that. I do believe in that part of the program that it needs to be considered a problem before a person can work on improving it. Edit: I can't respond to your comment below bu…

I'm not making any judgements on your own addictions - I'd never be that presumptuous. To be honest, I've only begun to look into AA's culture and theories. I feel it's an understatement to say that it's not perfect. Half of the steps specifically mention god - that does not sound like me like a necessary (or even helpful) part of treatment for alcoholism. People have also pointed out similarities between them and cu…

Most of what you're saying about AA is false. 4 of the 12 steps mention God. And if you look deeper into the material, God is in reference to a Higher Power or "Power greater than ourselves."

Some examples of a Higher Power can include: a sponsor, the group in general, a (big G or little g) god, a door knob. The principle is about believing in something greater than yourself.

edit: AA has its roots in Christianity, however being in AA doesn't mean you have to be a Christian or a theist.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#154

Post by Falling3 »

Falling3 wrote: post #150
_ddkb wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand the 12 step programs are not perfect. No program is perfect. I don't understand your point. Are you trying to say that I'm not addicted? It took me many years to realise that this is an addiction for me but it did help me to admit that. I do believe in that part of the program that it needs to be considered a problem before a person can work on improving it. Edit: I can't respond to your comment below bu…

I'm not making any judgements on your own addictions - I'd never be that presumptuous. To be honest, I've only begun to look into AA's culture and theories. I feel it's an understatement to say that it's not perfect. Half of the steps specifically mention god - that does not sound like me like a necessary (or even helpful) part of treatment for alcoholism. People have also pointed out similarities between them and cu…

>Most of what you're saying about AA is false. 4 of the 12 steps mention God. And if you look deeper into the material, God is in reference to a Higher Power or "Power greater than ourselves."

>Some examples of a Higher Power can include: a sponsor, the group in general, a (big G or little g) god, a door knob. The principle is about believing in something greater than yourself.

No, it is not. Four of the steps use the word use the word "God", 1 uses only the word "Him" (and that obviously refers to the same thing), and 1 uses the word "Power" (notice the upper case).

The claim that these are intended to be anything "greater" than yourself such as a sponsor or the group clearly is not what is intended (and, from what I have heard, not what is taught). I don't know what the hell your door knob comment is about - I assume it was for comic effect.

http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/smf-121_en.pdf Read the steps. A sponsor is not going to remove our shortcoming or character defects. We don't pray to the group so that we might know their will. You're either ignorant of the actual teachings or being extremely disingenuous.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#155

Post by vy8vWJlco »

therobot24 wrote: post #130
msluyter wrote: post #48

On the same topic, "The Great Porn Experiment" TED talk, which provides some empirical grounding for the anecdote in the article: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Makes some valid points, but some of the evidence he uses in the talk reminds me of evangelical christians tv hosts - 'Just look at this testimonial! While on the porn he dropped out of college twice, was fired twice, was taking paxil, ritalin, and tried several anti-anxiety pills. BUT once he gave up porn he doesn't need those pills, has no depression or anxiety, and frankly...he feels like a stud!'

The testimonial was after 2 months, which is about the longest I've ever restrained myself personally and frankly, by that point, I thought about nothing else. I felt like a stud alright. Everything was hyper-arousing. It just wasn't sustainable for me. It was fun, but I probably would have been arrested for public indecency if I tried for 3 months.

I think it's necessary to learn to live with and love your lusts if you want to be in control of them. "Know thyself."

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#156

Post by philwelch »

jacoblyles wrote: post #120
psykotic wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> However, he paints the picture that porn has been with our society forever and that its effects are known and tolerable. I would argue that its widespread availability is an extremely novel phenomena and that its effects are unknown and likely harmful. You haven't clearly defined what you mean by harmful. Does it ruin otherwise healthy relationships on a massive scale? Does it teach impressionable young men that al…

>"Porn is widespread enough that you'd expect the large-scale statistical effects to be manifest." There is certainly a modern syndrome around the nexus of sex, relationships, and family (less stable relationships, fewer children raised in stable homes, fewer children, more sex, more sexual culture, technology that lowers the cost of sex, easy access to porn). It's hard to know which pieces of the syndrome are causes…

Out of curiosity, what statistics are you referring to?

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#157

Post by sarchertech »

Evbn wrote: post #151
jacoblyles wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some of it. For example, the average American watches 5 hours of TV a day. That will kill you. I watch about 1 hour Video games are very addictive to me. After playing Starcraft for 16 hours straight one saturday, I carefully watch and moderate my video game play and have deleted most games from my system. In your battle to live a meaningful, purposeful life, the peddlers of superstimuli are your enemy.

The average American isn't dead, so obviously you didn't say what you meant, if what you meant made sense.

He never specified a time frame--Watching 5 hours of TV will kill you over x number of years (also it's clear he meant the resulting inactivity will kill you).

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#158

Post by goostavos »

"Data, is not the plural form of anecdote."

The number of unsourced, or "it worked for me!" comments are a little more than I would have expected for HN.

Here's the wikipedia page on masturbation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation#Health_and_psychol...

Is it the best source of information? No. But its linked medical studies carry a little more weight than "Stopping changed my life and it will change yours!"

Until there is cold hard medically relevant data to support these claims, you may as well also start wearing magnetic bracelets and donning aura crystals. Both have equal bodies of evidence.

Not to mention, a lot of this seems to be a masked religious gilt as well as FUD. The current top comment has a link here: http://www.feedtherightwolf.org. After a brief look around the site, I stumble across the post "30 Sample Reasons to Avoid Pornography." Lets look through them.

* My hopes of having a wife and a child will come true if I walk away.

* I will be able to hold down and maintain a job if I walk away.

* Remember the pain and hurt I caused my family and myself?

* I am a good person and do not need to prove it by using.

* I will live a more independent and worthwhile life if I walk away.

* I will be a positive role model for my children if I walk away.

* I want and deserve a good future for myself.

* I am a worthwhile and productive person.

* I will regain my self-respect and dignity if I walk away.

* I don’t want to end up like my father.

* I will be able to feel better about myself if I walk away.

* My Family will be proud of me if I walk away.

* If I continue to use I will die.

* I will be proud of myself if I walk away.

* If I walk away my physical health will improve.

* I will reduce my chances of going to jail if I walk away.

* My hopes and dreams for future will come true if I walk away.

* I will be a positive role model for my friends if I walk away.

* I will be able to get in touch with my true feelings if I walk away.

* I will live a calmer and more peaceful life if I walk away.

* I will be able to spend my time on healthy alternatives if I walk away.

* Remember the high risk situations I faced while perusing my addiction? * I will be able to open my own business if I walk away. * If I continue to use I will lose everything. * I will be a positive role model for my family if I walk away. * Remember the stupid things I did to get my high? * Remember the look at my Girlfriends face when she found out about my addiction? * I will be stronger and more in control if I walk away. * I accept full responsibility for everything that takes place in my life. * My mission in life is to be a good man, to love my family, and to carry out God’s will for me to the best of my ability

Really? "If I continue to use I will die?" This list is heavily slanted towards appeals to emotion, and, of course, a little religious guilt. I'd like to see "you'll die because reason x [link to study]"

I see the /r/nofap people on Reddit all the time spouting this same nonsense. The critical error is taking an anecdote, and extrapolating it out into a generally applicable result.

I'm not saying that porn addiction doesn't exist, I mean, good lord, some of the comments here.. Like the 3 hours a day guy, or the marathon guy -- those, are legitimate problems with negative results. However, a TedX talk and a couple of blog entries do not science make.

A wank every now and again is medically beneficial for a the average person.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#159

Post by BSousa »

Falling3 wrote: post #150
_ddkb wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand the 12 step programs are not perfect. No program is perfect. I don't understand your point. Are you trying to say that I'm not addicted? It took me many years to realise that this is an addiction for me but it did help me to admit that. I do believe in that part of the program that it needs to be considered a problem before a person can work on improving it. Edit: I can't respond to your comment below bu…

I'm not making any judgements on your own addictions - I'd never be that presumptuous. To be honest, I've only begun to look into AA's culture and theories. I feel it's an understatement to say that it's not perfect. Half of the steps specifically mention god - that does not sound like me like a necessary (or even helpful) part of treatment for alcoholism. People have also pointed out similarities between them and cu…

I'm reading the Power of Habit and the author mentions AA. According to the theory of the book, for habits (drinking) to change permanently, people have to believe in something. According to the author, that ingrained belief of AA is what makes it work for so many people, but as mentioned, you can ignore god in the steps and replace it with something else (family, sponsor, local communities, etc).

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#160

Post by learc83 »

a_bonobo wrote: post #50
Skoofoo wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while Logically speaking, that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing. EDIT: Porn is indeed almost a staple of Western society, but note that Western culture is also very image-focused and has high rates of divorce and eating disorders among women.

>Porn is indeed almost a staple of Western society I present to you, old Japanese porn: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dream_of_the_Fisherman%27s... And here's a documentary about ancient Egyptian porn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7HttHvJ8Gc And here's a book about Mesopotamian porn: http://books.google.com.au/books/about/The_erotic_reliefs_of... What I want to say is that porn is not only a staple of Western…

Just because porn existed doesn't mean it was a "staple" of society. It would have been too expensive for the average person to afford.

Even 20 years ago porn was too expensive for the average person to afford very much of it.

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