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Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

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Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#61

Post by jhanschoo »

doctorpangloss wrote: post #45
kevin_thibedeau wrote: post #12

The amazing thing is that people still cite the old stats they published as that remains the only significant body of insight into the dynamics of human behavior in this realm.

the reality is that those stats were flawed in numerous ways. this is expected, they were never subject to peer review. for example: ok cupid and tinder, during the times that christian rudder was blogging about them, never reported on the actual ratio of active male to active female users. this made it impossible to do any comparisons over time, it's like reporting only numerators in the absence of denominators. a s…

As a young adult that data analysis blog post seemed like cool shit, and today I'm horrified because it seemed like cool shit. They make for "cute" PR soundbites, and back then the data analysts likely didn't know better, but they are terribly biased and reductive by virtue of the structure of the platform, and can't be used to support anything essential or fundamental about human romance.

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#62

Post by someguynamedq »

bbor wrote: post #35
TZubiri wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Dating apps/sites are a rich-get-richer market. Most people go where everyone else goes, because everyone else is there. I get that this is true for social networks in general, like messaging platforms, there's a first mover and network effect. However for dating apps specifically, there is not truly a network effect, all you need to find is one person, and for monogamous relationships (which incidentally are more…

> for monogamous relationships (which incidentally are more common among heterosexual couples, whereas Tinder and its descendants, coming from grindr heritage, tend against) Describing everyone who isn't straight as "tending against monogamy" is bigotry. I'm aware that there's a 0.1% PP difference or whatever -- still absurd.

Describing accurate statistics is not bigotry. Abusing people based on it is

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#63

Post by someguynamedq »

TZubiri wrote: post #56
bbor wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> for monogamous relationships (which incidentally are more common among heterosexual couples, whereas Tinder and its descendants, coming from grindr heritage, tend against) Describing everyone who isn't straight as "tending against monogamy" is bigotry. I'm aware that there's a 0.1% PP difference or whatever -- still absurd.

Not sure if it helps, but I mean male homosexuals. Lesbians are more monogamous, so it's not a matter of being homosexual that makes one less monogamous, it's more that men are more hypergamous. This is true in almost all species, as there is an evolutionary benefit for males to mate in excess of one partner, as each subsequent mate increases the chance and amount of offspring. Whereas females have little benefit to…

You don't need to overexplain

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#64

Post by jiggawatts »

SwellJoe wrote: post #37
jiggawatts wrote: post #11

An interesting challenge with dating sites is that the “bell curves” of attractiveness versus desired attractiveness between men and women aren’t symmetric. This leads to difficulties running a dating site because women will only say yes to 9/10 or better men, but men will message anyone with a pulse which in turn inflates female expectations. Many women only ever join dating sites as an ego boost, with no intention…

"I had the idea that the way this could work is a totally automated match making system akin to Uber where you are penalised for not accepting matches made by the system. You don’t have to get married or anything, but if you don’t both turn up at the same GPS time space coordinates it counts against you. Similarly, the system should require an up front ~$50 fee from both sexes per date. You don’t get it back if you s…

> but most are just overwhelmed by the shotgun approach

That’s the whole point of this approach — women don’t get drowned in spam from men.

Instead it’s the equivalent of a trusted friend or relative setting you up with someone they know will suit you.

Evidence is that that works out better.

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#65

Post by SwellJoe »

jiggawatts wrote: post #64
SwellJoe wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I had the idea that the way this could work is a totally automated match making system akin to Uber where you are penalised for not accepting matches made by the system. You don’t have to get married or anything, but if you don’t both turn up at the same GPS time space coordinates it counts against you. Similarly, the system should require an up front ~$50 fee from both sexes per date. You don’t get it back if you s…

> but most are just overwhelmed by the shotgun approach That’s the whole point of this approach — women don’t get drowned in spam from men. Instead it’s the equivalent of a trusted friend or relative setting you up with someone they know will suit you. Evidence is that that works out better.

"Instead it’s the equivalent of a trusted friend or relative setting you up with someone they know will suit you."

A random dating app is a "trusted friend or relative" now? Sorry, that's not a reasonable expectation.

I mean, go for it, if you think it'll work. It's easier than ever to spin up an MVP. But, if I were a betting man, my bet against this working, especially with women, would be very, very, large. Not only do I think it's not viable, I would be genuinely surprised if you got one (1) paid sign up from a woman.

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#66

Post by gadders »

ChiperSoft wrote: post #60

The people who can innovate in this space either don't have the mental and/or capital bandwidth to do so, or don't want to deal with the absolutely massive amount of moderation that it would require. I met my wife on OkC in 2006, years before the Match acquisition. I have long been furious about what Match did to the site after they bought it in 2011, and have long fantasized about creating something that could retur…

The future will be an AI that acts as a matchmaker via a chat interface.

"Hi, I'm looking for someone in my area age [x-y], has a professional role.."

"I have Claire on my list. She's X years old, works as an accountant, and her requirements seem similar to yours. Shall I ping her and see what she thinks?"

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#67

Post by KenPainter »

eru wrote: post #19
KenPainter wrote: post #4

I became single in 2013 and cupid was definitely where the cool kids were. But it was a desktop thing. You sat at a computer and engaged. You invested. Tinder and swiping are a phone thing. No real investment. Funny thing, 12 years later I met my wife on the zombified corpse of cupid. So... go figure.

> Funny thing, 12 years later I met my wife on the zombified corpse of cupid. So... go figure. Must have been awkward. Or were you in an open marriage at the time?

Uh... my now-wife. Not ex.

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#68

Post by anoojb »

gadders wrote: post #66
ChiperSoft wrote: post #60

The people who can innovate in this space either don't have the mental and/or capital bandwidth to do so, or don't want to deal with the absolutely massive amount of moderation that it would require. I met my wife on OkC in 2006, years before the Match acquisition. I have long been furious about what Match did to the site after they bought it in 2011, and have long fantasized about creating something that could retur…

The future will be an AI that acts as a matchmaker via a chat interface. "Hi, I'm looking for someone in my area age [x-y], has a professional role.." "I have Claire on my list. She's X years old, works as an accountant, and her requirements seem similar to yours. Shall I ping her and see what she thinks?"

The Product Manager on Facebook Dating already beat you to this...

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#69

Post by woodgala »

eru wrote: post #27
woodgala wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe you should have tried a Christian or conservative dating site? OKC was fabulously non normative.

They seemed plenty 'normative' to me, in the sense of professing strong opinions on eg 'I would never date a Tory voter'.

I didn’t know OKC was international. Duh. Of course it is! Where I live in the 2010s you could be pansexual or poly. That was unique for dating sites. At least in the US.

Re: Ask HN: Why don't we bring back old school OkCupid?

#70

Post by bigtex »

ChiperSoft wrote: post #60

The people who can innovate in this space either don't have the mental and/or capital bandwidth to do so, or don't want to deal with the absolutely massive amount of moderation that it would require. I met my wife on OkC in 2006, years before the Match acquisition. I have long been furious about what Match did to the site after they bought it in 2011, and have long fantasized about creating something that could retur…

Are there any documented instances of “bigots” using ddos for services catering to the needs of minorities?
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