211–220 of 257 posts
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Go on a ten day meditation retreat. Time will hit the breaks, hard.
Maybe this is because I'm not a native speaker, but I'm having difficulty parsing this. What breaks? Do you mean time slows down during the retreat, or does the effect persist afterwards?
With effort, the effect can persist. But you have to be willing to make changes.
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This is actually a sad comment. How did you ever come to believe that wanting to feel loved, which is a fundamental desire (if not "need") for the vast majority of human beings, could ever be construed as a weakness resulting from a lack of "strength"?
To steel-man their argument, I think what they are trying to describe is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxious-preoccupied_attachment vs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secure_attachment
It has absolutely nothing to do with being "strong" versus "weak".
Under your steel-man, someone who is anxious-avoidant could appear very independent and therefore "strong" even though they are struggling inside.
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Would you mind sharing an example of "Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization"? In my experience, work, even when meaningful, is quite separate from self actualization. I'm interested to hear how you're combining them.
I’m not OP, but I can speak to my own experience. I am approaching 40 and in two weeks I will begin clowning lessons with a Cirque du Soleil clown. I am thrilled. So why clown as a discipline? Something deeply misunderstood and that probably lowers my social status with people who don’t understand it? Something with zero career utility? Because to me it represents extreme vulnerability. I’m a pretty dignified person.…
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With good enough public transit, you can do all that. When I lived in Seattle, I did not bother looking at the bus schedule before leaving, because usually I was waiting less than 10 minutes.
Must be nice, I have not encountered such public transport in the places I lived in Europe. It's 0:45 currently. I want to grab an ice cream at McDonalds. Next bus leaves at 1:25. It takes the bus 20 minutes to get there and then it is a 5 minute walk. It is also a 10 minute walk to the bus station in my neighborhood. And since it's past 22:00 there are probably a bunch of crazies on the bus. Also a high chance of pu…
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It’s actually incomprehensible as a non parent. Your entire psychology re-orients after kids.
I actually have long disagreed with this sentiment -- I know people who don't want and never want kids, and they seem to totally comprehend the kind of love I have for my children. I also remember being a teenager and always kind of understanding the depth of the love my parents had for me (as in knowing "they love me implicitly, and they'd die for me, and they wish me so much happiness", and all the other trappings…
Time with my young adult children. They are all out of the house, recently, and there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more valuable/meaningful to us than when they come home for a visit or we spend time out in the world. It's incredible.
Time seems to be one of the most valuable luxuries. AFAIK it is not entirely clear why time seems to pass faster when one grows older. One argument is that the older brain does not form memories as intricate as in the younger brain. Has anyone experimented with actively making more complex memories to make time pass slower? Seems like the best approach to living longer, at least in experience.
Neuroscience says novelty, plus attention, plus later retrieval are what slow down subjective perception of time.
So make sure you are having novel experiences, pay attention while you're having them, and recall them again later.
Even small things like going to a park you don't normally go to, and noticing the foliage and sounds can help. Big things like travel helps as well if you make sure you're taking it in, and it you recall the trip again later.
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Must be nice, I have not encountered such public transport in the places I lived in Europe. It's 0:45 currently. I want to grab an ice cream at McDonalds. Next bus leaves at 1:25. It takes the bus 20 minutes to get there and then it is a 5 minute walk. It is also a 10 minute walk to the bus station in my neighborhood. And since it's past 22:00 there are probably a bunch of crazies on the bus. Also a high chance of pu…
You probably wouldn't, just like you wouldn't drive your car to visit your next door neighbor.
We have three little kids right, so "time" and "quiet mind" are not on the menu, and "health" is diminished since it's hard to find time to exercise.
And yet, we are very lucky to be crunched in this way. I would rather be tired and busy with the kids than relaxed without.
Maybe the word luxuries is right actually. This list isn't the "goals" or "essence" of life. It's the nice-to-have luxuries you can try to get after the basics are taken care of.