have you met most people? I can't really recommend it.
And you think yourself different from “most people”?
Everyone is “most people” to someone. The arrogance in your comment alone makes me put you into the “most people” category.
Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
361–370 of 453 posts
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#362Interesting article. But here's my situation: I'm not smart, and I'm also not happy. So where does that leave me?
You can be angry all the time. I do this and it works out great since I don't have to explain myself anymore, everyone can totally just fuck off.
My salutations, Lord Nermal! ;)
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#363What does being smart even mean?
It’s just a title for deeply arrogant people try and elevate themselves above what they consider to be “the dumb ones”.
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#364I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…
I got labeled "smart but lazy" at a pretty young age (high test scores, didn't do any homework), and I let that label stick with me for far too long. I took some pride in how I could get the top score in a class without studying, and didn't realize that studying itself was a useful skill. I let this whole mindset drag me down through undergrad (especially once I hit the point where I really ought to have studied), an…
Given the amount of replies you are getting, I think you are not alone. In fact, I was the same kind of kid as well and really, what I regret more is not learning to study, which made me a college drop-out. But that's it. I'm pretty happy and satisfied with how life turned out to be for me, but I totally understand your position.
In my case I have a daughter that's showing already the same signs I had when I was her age and what I'm trying to do is to stay gently on top of her and create the habit of studying, because given the same brainpower, she will go farther if she learns to study well.
And coming back to you, I don't know you or your age but I think you can - maybe - still turn around the "miserable" part. What's miserable for you, now?
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#365I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…
It was Buddhism Monk Ajhan Brahm, before he started down that path he was going down the university path studying theoretical physics. The one thing that stood out to him was just how miserable so many of the smarter people where, and just how much they clung to their ego's and status. There was a moment when it dawned on him "I don't want to be anything like these people!". Another great one was this by Gen Kelsang…
> There was a moment when it dawned on him "I don't want to be anything like these people!".
Thanks for this great reminder that we can choose the kind of person we want to be.
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#366Earlier quoted context omitted.
I got labeled "smart but lazy" at a pretty young age (high test scores, didn't do any homework), and I let that label stick with me for far too long. I took some pride in how I could get the top score in a class without studying, and didn't realize that studying itself was a useful skill. I let this whole mindset drag me down through undergrad (especially once I hit the point where I really ought to have studied), an…
Also fell into this bucket for a short while. In hindsight, I realized it was b/c I hadn't found subjects in high school that really resonated with me (although HS science was cool). When I got to college I majored in computer science (academics) and discovered paintball (physical/social) and threw myself into both with abandon. I would do my CS homework as soon as it was assigned b/c I just loved solving the problem…
Sometimes, even controversial people are right. Not just the "broken clock is right twice a day" kind of right, but actually right. We should endeavor to separate the message from the messenger, and evaluate the message on its own merits.
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#367To address this question, apply a mathematical trick, and convert it to the equivalent "Why aren't happy people smarter?". This new question admits a range of straightforward solutions, depending on how kind you are to the handicapped.
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#368As others have noted being smart will enable you to comprehend more of the World around you. This will in turn increase the amount of negativity you can be exposed to. But in my opinion this ultimately comes down to your thinking patterns. Those must be practiced and learned. If you do not make an effort to adopt positive thinking patterns about the information you perceive you will become unhappy, as the negative pa…
I strongly agree. I am not bragging (it's not even really impressive) when I say I have an IQ of around 125-130, depending on the test. We often get professional psychometric tests here in Denmark while we're interviewing for cognitively demanding jobs. As a child I was profoundly depressed. I absorbed everything around me, and the negative stimuli affected me to a far greater degree. I'm not sure if that's innate or…
I'm glad it worked for you. Lifestyle interventions had a positive impact on me as well but depression can be much more complex/stubborn and it affects everyone differently.
It's not just maladaptive thought patterns or beliefs that make it harder to feel happy or function normally. Chronic depression can shape the trajectory of your life in ways that are difficult to undo. So even treatments that increase flexibility(like SSRIs or ketamine) can't necessarily convince you to put on rose-tinted glasses and see the world differently.
In my personal experience, escaping depression also seems to get harder the longer you've had it. It can create catch22 situations and strong path dependencies that severely limit your ability to change the circumstances that are helping keep you depressed in the first place.
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#369This is exactly the question considered in Voltaire's short story "The Good Brahmin"[0]
Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)
#370Earlier quoted context omitted.
Thanks for sharing that. Obviously respect your choices on the individual level. The contrast you provided between those who are happy with family and those two seem miserable is in line with what I am saying: it's both 'be smart about what you persue' and 'be smart about how you persue it.' So likely the first group was 'smarter' about who they chose as a spouse and how they set up the life with them than the second…
Many people, including myself, just know that we don't want to have children. Our outcomes won't have the same distribution as those of people who always wanted to have children, no matter how "smart" we are about it. Another factor is that when you have children and regret it you can suffer a lot more than just "-1" of misery - I'd say the scale is more like -10 to +1 (centered around 0). Furthermore if you end up r…
I've never met anyone who was sorry they had children, but I've met a lot of people who missed the opportunity (to be fair, I've never met the parents of a violent criminal).
Kids can be hard, especially if you're not a natural, and especially when they're young, but-- it's impossible to describe the fulsome love I have for my kids. I'm not a sentimental person, and probably wouldn't have had them without my wife (which is a funny thing to say). Even when they're a pain and a disappointment, even with the ever present guilt, my kids give me some baseline purpose for free. And the wins are great--"all joy and no fun" as I heard once. The conversations as they become real people. It's impossible to describe and totally worth it.