Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

experimental-history.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

251–260 of 453 posts

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#251

Post by heresie-dabord »

dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

> mental health and healthy relationships

One cannot think oneself into these states. These things grow like good things in a garden.

The world is full of unhappiness that only caring, compassion, and actual effort can fix.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#252

Post by tsss »

dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

Easy to say for you. Relationships are largely based on status and being useful is one of the few ways to get it.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#253

Post by RandomLensman »

I think being smart and attentive means noticing a lot of poor craftsmanship (broadest sense, in a lot of areas from politics to whatever) and understanding why that can be sort of a stable situation with little chance of changing, so need to control attention which is not so easy.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#254

Post by RGamma »

annzabelle wrote: post #163
brailsafe wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am now and have in the past been in this sort of position, albeit not with an existing completed degree under my belt, just a simple one-year continuing-ed diploma and years of sporadic career experience. I went back to attempt to complete my CS degree on the basis that I figured I already had learnt most of what I would learn anyway and might as well both prove to myself I can do it, as well as get the credential…

I did take a one off course at a local college a couple years back and was able to do well (had a 95% average all semester) and get all my homework done. It was, however, a subject I found fascinating. On the other hand, my work performance severely suffered that semester and I got my first poor performance review. Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that stimulant ADHD medication isn't for me. It worked well…

Given you have some experience with this sort of medication would you say it could help with restoring any motivation? It's killing me slowly, but surely...

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#255

Post by killerstorm »

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

If you're smart you probably have bigger, more challenging goals, so chances of success aren't higher. Deliberately setting goals lower might not help. Having a mindset which decouples happiness from goals would help, but people are generally not wired for that, evolution wanted us to push harder.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#256

Post by torginus »

annzabelle wrote: post #107
dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

I got labeled "smart but lazy" at a pretty young age (high test scores, didn't do any homework), and I let that label stick with me for far too long. I took some pride in how I could get the top score in a class without studying, and didn't realize that studying itself was a useful skill. I let this whole mindset drag me down through undergrad (especially once I hit the point where I really ought to have studied), an…

> I got labeled "smart but lazy" at a pretty young age (high test scores, didn't do any homework), and I let that label stick with me for far too long

I just never understood why the secondary education system is set up to make smart and lazy people succeed without effort while the hardworking, but less gifted kids struggle.

It just gives you an impression that life is much easier than it is, and you can BS your way through it.

It sends the wrong message both ways. Skills that are useful/meaningful IRL certainly are much harder to acquire. Being smart won't get you a date, wont get you fit, play an instrument, learn to draw, program, wont allow you to fix the crooked cabinet door etc.

It just sends the wrong message either way. The 'smart but lazy' adults who stayed that way, who I've encountered IRL have been maliciously manipulative work avoiders, or straight up losers with superiority complexes.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#257

Post by Gareth321 »

raumgeist wrote: post #243

As others have noted being smart will enable you to comprehend more of the World around you. This will in turn increase the amount of negativity you can be exposed to. But in my opinion this ultimately comes down to your thinking patterns. Those must be practiced and learned. If you do not make an effort to adopt positive thinking patterns about the information you perceive you will become unhappy, as the negative pa…

I strongly agree. I am not bragging (it's not even really impressive) when I say I have an IQ of around 125-130, depending on the test. We often get professional psychometric tests here in Denmark while we're interviewing for cognitively demanding jobs.

As a child I was profoundly depressed. I absorbed everything around me, and the negative stimuli affected me to a far greater degree. I'm not sure if that's innate or if my surroundings were in fact unfortunately negative. It wasn't until the age of 25 (which is itself an interesting age for the prefrontal cortex) that I was better able to control my thinking patterns. I used cognitive behavioural therapy methods in combination with lifestyle improvements (including exercise, sleep, alcohol, drugs, career, friends, money, country, and living arrangements). I figured out how to not hate living. I'm grateful I was stubborn enough to persevere that long. There were dark times.

I had friends who were not bright. They didn't absorb as much as I did. They weren't phased by the negative things around them to the degree I was. I envied them immensely.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#259

Post by tsss »

kakacik wrote: post #232
xyzelement wrote: post #139

I think being smart universally trumps being less smart - but the definition of smart needs to be more encompassing. For example take the stereotype of a brilliant man or woman who neglected family for career, and are forever single and childless forever -- while someone less brilliant just "ends up" with a family and ultimately more fulfilled in life. Superficially this is an example of an average person being happi…

You reduce massively this complex topic into having kids = more happiness. Divorce rates, marriage counseling intensity and just looking around paints a very different and much more realistic picture. Most marriages either fail or keep it up in semi-miserable fashion (for kids, money, insecurity and so on but never due to actual strength of the bond or any love remaining). That comes from married father of two - the…

In fact, the data points into the opposite direction: Children and money problems are by far the most destructive things for a happy marriage.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#260

Post by phyzix5761 »

n0on3 wrote: post #218
phyzix5761 wrote: post #193

I've learned that the more intelligent you are the more models you know and the more trust you place in them being actual reality vs just being models. This leads to overconfidence in things being a certain way so when life calls for flexibility, your rigidity will make you suffer. Cynicism develops from this rigidity. Additionally, the more intelligent you are the more skilled you become at thinking about things log…

> _An intelligent person can convince themselves of anything_ I think it might be just the opposite: convincing yourself of things relies on exploiting limits for which very intelligent people have much higher threshold they might as well not have them. When it comes to happiness, it’s kind of a superpower which I think very intelligent people just don’t have because it fights against their intelligence by definition…

People choose to believe what they desire and all desire eventually leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction. So, no, even if you could choose to convince yourself of whatever you want you're still not going to be happy. Also, people tend to pick the worst case scenario as a defense mechanism in most cases.

If you really want to be happy you need to let go of your preferences; your desires and aversions.

Post reply on HN