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Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

zackshapiro.com

81–90 of 134 posts

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#81
post #16

Remember how those first few weeks of college were intensely social. You meet a lot of people you'll know the rest of your life. It's a critical time. I recommend: Social > academic. But they're intertwined, so work hard, and work with others in your core area. Be helpful and smart and humble. Don't worry about your non-core subjects (let others help you). Don't go nuts with freedom. Go to parties, but drink very lit…

I would say avoid all of this advice altogether. Make questionable decisions, having dramatic relationships, don't be a bore. :)

I mean it's one thing if all you want is for you to have a long life of just 9-5 mundane, workaday life. But that's not for everyone.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#82
post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Go to parties, but drink very little, avoid drugs, don't get caught up in sex. It's fun, but save it for later. Don't have a girlfriend at all, this is a time for lots and lots of friends. I personally think the opposite. It's your 20s, enjoy it while it lasts.

Totally agree, everything in moderation, though. I'd rather live with the regret of 'Oh I wish I hadn't done this/that/the other' than being 50 and looking back on my life regretting I didn't enjoy myself more.

Speak to people over 60, they generally regret what they didn't do than what they did.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#83
post #12

I've found that it's easy to let your life become unfocused after leaving college. Up until graduation, you always had built-in goals on which to focus: pass that test, find scholarships/jobs, graduate, etc... After graduating and finding a job, I was suddenly without any pressing objectives in my life. What's next? Retirement? That's way too far off (probably). I was working and living my life day-to-day, not unhapp…

I had a similar experience and judging by other comments it seems pretty common. School is really good for this because it provides both goals and immediate deadlines. You want to graduate and to do that you have to do this assignment for Thursday and that lab for Monday. In engineering school it's particularly bad since you only have to decide on 5 or 10 electives throughout the degree, and there's usually common easy ones a lot of people know about and take. I still struggle with anything that doesn't have a drop-dead date - and it feels like less things in Real Life™ have one than in school. But recognizing the problem is a part of the battle.

Heh, I actually dug up the comment I also mentioned this in, written back in February 2011: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2186121

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#84

Seems like these are instructions for how to live life by default. Instructions on how to fit into the cogs of the system and not fall into depression. In my opinion, life should not be like this. For those who haven't already, you should read this article from HN a few weeks ago: http://www.raptitude.com/2012/07/most-lives-are-lived-by-def...

Yes, it is basically entirely about being not only a cog but a good little cog. Honestly, to anyone reading this stuff and looking for direction or advice on life, don't take from HN. If you listen to anyone on HN at all about life issues, just listen to the ones that tell you not to listen. This crowd is too biased toward one direction that it's going to bias in advice toward that ideal lifestyle. If you really want to be a healthy, skinny, hipster whose goal in life is to increase the share value of the company he works for and make his managers happy then a lot of stuff would probably be very useful; it sounds like a dreadful bore to me. :)

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#85
post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oddly, I felt like I had much more free time after college. When work ended at 5pm, I suddenly had this huge 7 hour window of time where I had no homework to work on, no projects etc... I started reading for fun, working out, doing side projects, and I still had time!

I felt the same, until I started seeing my job as not "Do what my boss tells me to" but as "Contribute something awesome to the world." That job is never done - there's always some other project you could be working on, some way you can make your product better, someone else you can help out. On the plus side, it's a lot more fulfilling than feeling like you put in 8 hours for a boss so you can have 7 hours to yourse…

I agree with this big time. Not that I didn't have hobbies, interests, desire to contribute to the world from the beginning. But after a while for me it shifted from "I have all this time and I would like to have productive hobbies where I make things and contribute to the world," to "oh my god I really have to WORK if those hobbies are ever going to turn into anything worthwhile and oh look I'm taking on more responsibility at work and now there are so many more days when I come home tired..." Life changes really quickly.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#86
post #64

The vast majority of kids who enter college do so right after high school. They are used to summers off, parents sending tuition checks and allowances for rent/living. There is a misunderstanding in todays youth that college is a social club with the side effect of gaining an education. Few kids choose their school on quality of education, but rather how big the parties are/what the scene is like. To me this entire s…

There is a misunderstanding in todays youth that college is a social club with the side effect of gaining an education. Few kids choose their school on quality of education, but rather how big the parties are/what the scene is like. Source? This seems extremely anecdotal. Life after college isn't hard at all. This generation is simply not used to feeling ANY discomfort or pain in their sheltered little lives. This is…

> Source? This seems extremely anecdotal.

Source is the darn kids on his lawn.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#88
- Don't sell out. Find out what you love whether it's design, programming, assembly, hacking stuff, building stuff, whatever... and do that.

If you sell out, at the beginning you might make loads of $$$, it'll be amazing, maybe you'll make more than your dad ever made, maybe you'll buy yourself a 70" TV but trust me... 3 to 5 years in. You'll be that annoying guy that tells all his friends he sold out and really wished to have been an actor, a sportsman, an artist, a musician, an animator.

- Save enough $$$ for 6months of living without work, all of a sudden you'll be a lot pickier on what you work on.

- watch http://www.beautyisembarrassing.com/

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#89
What got me in the adult world was "4.0 syndrome". (Well, my actual GPA wasn't 4.0, but close.) Not that I was used to getting great grades and had a rude awakening, because school was a lot more intellectually challenging than 95+ percent of what I encountered in the real world, but that school led me to believe the world was more meritocratic, fair, and straight-forward than it actually is.

For example, some teachers were better than others-- I actually lucked out and had mostly good ones-- but I never had a teacher who went out of his way to be unfair. But I've had more than one manager who was outright scummy. School doesn't prepare you for this, because while there are demanding teachers, unfair or corrupt ones (while they exist) are extraordinarily rare.

Also, in college, you have career coherence. The work that is put in front of you is designed to teach you the basic concepts, so you'll usually learn something from it. The rare cases where this isn't the case are when you have outright incompetent professors. Either way, though, if you do the work you will usually get the knowledge and credibility that you need for your career. Useless, unappreciated busy-work is quite rare in college, but it's common in the work world.

To get anything close to 100% career coherence at work, you have to actively manage your career. If you just do what your manager tells you to do, you're probably looking at 25%, which means you get 1 year of real progress per 4 of work.

In the real world, the deadlines aren't well-tested. They might be unrealistic or make no sense. The work isn't designed to teach you things, and if you graduate past the work you're being assigned and are ready to move on, that comes down more to social skills than anything else. In school, you can skip grades. In work, you actually need social engineering (or frequent job changes) to progress faster than the slow players for whom the typical track is designed.

"4.0 Syndrome" is seen heavily in startups and investment banking analyst programs, because there's a crop of 22-year-olds every year who will meet every "deadline" no matter how ridiculous. They haven't learned that many real-world "deadlines" are just made up times that are often impossible to meet. (In school, they're also "made up times", but there are a large number of people facing the same deadlines, and they'll generally moved if they're really unreasonable.)

It's also a dangerous trait to have, because it can lead you to over-perform at work, which in most office cultures is more dangerous than underperforming because (a) you become a target for adversity, and (b) you lose social polish if you overwork yourself, and social success is more important than raw "performance".

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#90
post #50

One thing I noticed is that it is very, very lonely. I'm still trying to figure out ways to meet people and make friends, good friends even. No dice. Maybe I'm just not very fun to be around.

Or maybe you should stop trying so hard to meet people and make friends and just be
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