Things I wish someone had told me about life after college • Hacker News Board

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#71

Post by yoblin » Sat, Dec 15, 2012, 10:59 PM UTC

funkiee wrote: post #68

larsberg wrote: post #28

> Your first job out of college won’t make you or break you I disagree with this statement. Certainly, if you go to Google/Facebook/Microsoft/Apple, the choice doesn't matter and you can do whatever after you've learned how to work on real software. But getting into games and many other fields can be astoundingly difficult even two years out of college, as it's difficult to overcome the "finance," "healthcare," or "c…

Be careful not to become too good in an area you don't like.

Very true. Your first job isn't going to make or break you, but you'd be surprised how many new grads stumble into an industry and are still working in it 5 years down the road. I was a programmer at a brokerage firm out of college, and after recently getting out of the industry a few jobs later, it'll take a while before my resume is really attractive to non-finance gigs.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#72

Post by JacksonGariety » Sat, Dec 15, 2012, 11:18 PM UTC

Seems like these are instructions for how to live life by default. Instructions on how to fit into the cogs of the system and not fall into depression. In my opinion, life should not be like this.

For those who haven't already, you should read this article from HN a few weeks ago:

http://www.raptitude.com/2012/07/most-lives-are-lived-by-def...

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#73

Post by xk_id » Sat, Dec 15, 2012, 11:28 PM UTC

the_cat_kittles wrote: post #36

Some positives I didn't realize about life after college: - You have complete control over you choices. You did in college, but by choosing to go, you are forfeiting some of that I think, at least psychologically. - There may be things about school in general that you hated, or thought were stupid, but never realized until you got some distance from them. I had this experience, I was filled with a warm glow for about…

fuck, i need to graduate :)

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#74

Post by Goladus » Sun, Dec 16, 2012, 12:04 AM UTC

the_cat_kittles wrote: post #36

Some positives I didn't realize about life after college: - You have complete control over you choices. You did in college, but by choosing to go, you are forfeiting some of that I think, at least psychologically. - There may be things about school in general that you hated, or thought were stupid, but never realized until you got some distance from them. I had this experience, I was filled with a warm glow for about…

When people say academia is not the real world they generally mean a few things. "Real world" might not be dictionary-correct but this is what is meant:

1. Many of the problems you're forced to solve are contrived. They're practice problems and often the knowledge required to implement the solution has been provided to you already in classroom or textbooks.

2. You are evaluated on the academic quality of your work. In the "real world" you're evaluated on whether your work meets the needs of the customer and how well you present yourself.

3. In college you are rewarded based on how you are evaluated. In the real world you are not paid based on how well you are evaluated you are paid what you're able to sell or negotiate which is dependent on what your skills are worth (not just how well you perform them).

4. Basic needs (food/shelter) are paid for by someone else or on credit. This is not always true but often is. In the real world there is pressure to provide for oneself.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#75

Post by eli_gottlieb » Sun, Dec 16, 2012, 12:05 AM UTC

guard-of-terra wrote: post #20

elstevo wrote: post #12

I've found that it's easy to let your life become unfocused after leaving college. Up until graduation, you always had built-in goals on which to focus: pass that test, find scholarships/jobs, graduate, etc... After graduating and finding a job, I was suddenly without any pressing objectives in my life. What's next? Retirement? That's way too far off (probably). I was working and living my life day-to-day, not unhapp…

For the most of my life having those external "goais" and having to meet them was extremelly painful and frustrating for me. You would not believe how happy the lack of "objectives" made me. I can just work, have my salary and not be bothered. It's like as you was under cripppling pain for all of your life and then suddently it is relieved forever.

Strange, I found exactly the opposite. I went to industry for a while because I was tired of goal-seeking and working hard all the damn time, but actually being there made me feel pressured as all hell.

What I really should have done was exploit my white male upper-middle class American privilege and travel for a while. After how much I burned myself out finishing undergrad the way I did, my parents were actually quite willing to fund it.

But no, I felt the need to get a job and try to "build an adult life". I had said, "I want my 9-5". I use the scare-quotes because I discovered that short of being married, with a house, with kids or dogs, there's basically no such thing, and any attempt to treat a real job as a 9-5 for funding your social life will inevitably collapse.

Now that I'm "back" in academia on the research-school side (which is, ironically, the stage I was already at by the end of undergrad, mostly), I'm actually a good deal happier. I was also pretty happy with my second industrial job because I got to live where I wanted and work from home, but I actually really like research and feel far more comfortable working hard in pursuit of an achievable goal (publish stuff, write thesis, accumulate credit-points, graduate) rather than just to maintain a hard-working image.

Big Life Lesson: you need to find a lifestyle and environment suited to you, and you also need to take responsibility for how you run your own life. I could easily get sucked back into pathological workaholism like many graduate students, even though I felt crushed by having to keep busy for eight straight hours in an industrial job. The right work environment is one that makes me feel want to put in effort, but I also have to cut myself off and go have fun at some point.

Hmm... that last paragraph sounds too pat.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#76

Post by peter_l_downs » Sun, Dec 16, 2012, 12:16 AM UTC

JDSD wrote: post #64

The vast majority of kids who enter college do so right after high school. They are used to summers off, parents sending tuition checks and allowances for rent/living. There is a misunderstanding in todays youth that college is a social club with the side effect of gaining an education. Few kids choose their school on quality of education, but rather how big the parties are/what the scene is like. To me this entire s…

    There is a misunderstanding in todays youth that college is a
    social club with the side effect of gaining an education. Few
    kids choose their school on quality of education, but rather
    how big the parties are/what the scene is like.

Source? This seems extremely anecdotal.

    Life after college isn't hard at all. This generation is simply
    not used to feeling ANY discomfort or pain in their sheltered
    little lives.

This is hyperbole and personal opinion presented as fact. HN is not the place for this kind of writing.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#77

Post by eli_gottlieb » Sun, Dec 16, 2012, 12:19 AM UTC

guitarhacks wrote: post #39

Nice tips but I already knew that in elementary school. The most important thing is not the transition after the college or university but your work and making connections WHILE you are studying. - You must build your network while you are studying and find people who you like to work with (look at Facebook?). Of course that depends on what University you are studying. Better University, better networks. - Besides ch…

You're picking up lots of downvotes, including from me. I'm going to explain why.

* Your first point is trite. Everyone says, "find your passion". Guess what? Most real people don't live lives structured around the pursuit of some driving passion -- just like how most people don't become start-up millionaires. You or I in specific may or may not be special, unique snowflakes, but any Life Advice premised on the recipient being a special, unique snowflake is very bad advice.

* Your second point combines workaholism with straight-up brown-nosing. Nobody likes a brown-noser, and contrary to your apparent thinking, bosses and professors can in fact spot them. Especially professors, actually! My stepfather is an old-hat Electrical Engineering professor, and he has told our family the occasional story about undergrads who were obviously just looking for a nice letter of recommendation or graduate students who could not complete PhDs because they were better at sucking up and obeying orders than original thinking.

* Your third point is trite.

* Your fourth point is... ugh. I don't even have commonly-understood words for this concept. It's like trying to find a word for water in Fish Language. Puritanical? Anti-Spiral? There's something really fucked-up about telling other people to avoid enjoying a valid, valuable part of their life.

Overall, your post comes across as if you're someone who kicks puppies, sucks up to everyone above him, and only cares about career advancement. If people in your field say "you have to be crazy" to mean "you have to be a joyless, semi-sociopathic workaholic", tell me what line of work you're in so I can avoid it for the rest of time.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#78

Post by eli_gottlieb » Sun, Dec 16, 2012, 12:33 AM UTC

Goladus wrote: post #74

the_cat_kittles wrote: post #36

Some positives I didn't realize about life after college: - You have complete control over you choices. You did in college, but by choosing to go, you are forfeiting some of that I think, at least psychologically. - There may be things about school in general that you hated, or thought were stupid, but never realized until you got some distance from them. I had this experience, I was filled with a warm glow for about…

When people say academia is not the real world they generally mean a few things. "Real world" might not be dictionary-correct but this is what is meant: 1. Many of the problems you're forced to solve are contrived. They're practice problems and often the knowledge required to implement the solution has been provided to you already in classroom or textbooks. 2. You are evaluated on the academic quality of your work. I…

I agree on the first three points. I disagree on the fourth.

The fourth point is, ironically, most true for those who manage to become highly sought-after professionals. You have to be very well-paid and sought-after these days to achieve financial independence from any one employer, allowing you to take full responsibility for yourself. At the other end, you either get basic needs supplied via the wage paid by your employer, who is on some level morally responsible because they basically own you, or your employer fails to provide for you and you become dependent on family or the state.

The broad swathe of people who will forever remain proletarians, poor or well-off, rely on someone else to supply them/us the means to their/our basic needs.

And, in fact, the financially independent (including the rich) aren't really any better. They depend on the entire market economy that has evolved to enable them to trade one highly specialized form of labor or property for otherwise-valueless tokens which they can then trade for all their basic needs and more.

Real material independence from other people - for an individual, family, village, or nation - is possible, but its desirability is very questionable. A tiny homestead, a small farming village, or a large nation-state like America or China can afford to say, "We want to achieve complete economic self-sufficiency without depending on trade with the outside world." Most units of existence in between those will start having to make trade-offs in the standard of living and level of technological sophistication they can afford if they don't admit they need the help of others to live well.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#79

Post by eli_gottlieb » Sun, Dec 16, 2012, 12:43 AM UTC

bradleyy wrote: post #18

iammc wrote: post #6

From personal experience: don't do anything for the money, ever.

My dad always said, "Son, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing for money."

That just sounds wrong somehow. Money is social. It's what you use with people you don't know, or people you want to bleed.

Re: Things I wish someone had told me about life after college

#80

Post by dinkumthinkum » Sun, Dec 16, 2012, 12:57 AM UTC

eli_gottlieb wrote: post #78

Goladus wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When people say academia is not the real world they generally mean a few things. "Real world" might not be dictionary-correct but this is what is meant: 1. Many of the problems you're forced to solve are contrived. They're practice problems and often the knowledge required to implement the solution has been provided to you already in classroom or textbooks. 2. You are evaluated on the academic quality of your work. I…

I agree on the first three points. I disagree on the fourth. The fourth point is, ironically, most true for those who manage to become highly sought-after professionals. You have to be very well-paid and sought-after these days to achieve financial independence from any one employer, allowing you to take full responsibility for yourself. At the other end, you either get basic needs supplied via the wage paid by your…

I don't really understand what you're going on about. The parent was discussing about how most people in college are either living off loans or their family but when they graduate they have to get a job because no one else is paying the rent. I don't know, it's pretty simple, right?

You're talking about some kind of "workers of the world unite" type stuff, which is not where the parent had any intention of going.