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Online Friends Are Real Friends

toska.bearblog.dev

51–60 of 92 posts

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#51

How do you make online friends? I’ve been on Reddit for many years and have rarely even DM’ed anyone. I’ve also tried apps like Boo but the conversations always fizzle out.

Back in the good 'old' days, by playing repeatedly on the same server. On many games I've played (JK, UT, COD1-4), the servers just turned into giant chat rooms after 9pm or so. You play some games, chat a bit, then hang out on TeamSpeak.

I have no idea how people do it nowadays, gaming seems to have lost that social touch (at least to me).

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#52
post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How is that really any different than screening their phone calls or ignoring them if they come to the door?

There are very few people that are schizoid enough to intentionally ignore a friend who comes to their door.

There are very few people that are schizoid enough to ignore someone saying "hey we're not friends anymore, don't contact me again" and then show up at their house

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#53

For online friendship to really work, we need to solve the problem of pig-butchering scammers (scammers who "make friends with you" and eventually get you to give them money somehow, e.g. by depositing money in a "crypto trading platform", sending money for a "health crisis", etc.) This problem will only get worse with conversational AI agents/deepfakes/etc. For every human seeking genuine friendship there might be 1…

Same thing happens IRL too. Not just literal scams but all kinds of ways people take advantage of one another.

Still doesn't change the arithmetic.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#55
post #35

I met my wife playing Star Wars Galaxies, online. She was member #4 in the guild I ran, The Trade Federation on Flurry, one of a whole crew of people I'd never met in my life. It was a very interesting way to meet, to get to know a person with zero real physical input, no pics (we're too old for that stuff), and we talked on and on about philosophy, life, kids, learning, loving, challenges. For a good while it was ju…

This felt incredibly warm to read, thank you for sharing.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#56
post #3

Here's the problem with online relationships, you can pick them up and drop them whenever you like. You can do that in real life to a degree, but sometimes you are forced to confront friends in real life when you don't want to. A real friend requires surviving a degree of confrontation.

Maybe in isolation, although in most competitive video game spaces (which is where I've met majority of my "online friends") a disagreement between two parties tend to get resolve because it disrupts the entire dynamic.

It is increasingly difficult to just "drop" someone when you friends with their IRL friends, which is also pretty common. You'll play a game and meet someone, they'll meet you and invite their friend to all queue up.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#57
post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Use apps like Snapchat to ensure they are who they say they are (if they refuse to verify via snap or insta's snap feature don't bother with them). If they are not local delete them immediately if they ever ask for money or give a sob story, no matter how long you've been chatting! Protect yourself and don't be a fool as the Internet can be amazing on one side (have many chat buds on Snap and other apps who have veri…

What do you mean snap feature? Can you explain?

I assume he means sending images, in real time taken from the built-in snapchat camera.

You cannot "snap" someone without actually snapping a picture. You cannot for example generate some AI image or photoshop something and send it, as it will appear as an attachment, instead of a snap.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#58

I once read about a father who told his daughter, "real friends are people who care how your life ends up." I think that's a pretty good definition to go by.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. Embracing this change in what you value in relationships is a key part of growing up.

The shift from playing together (childhood) to having each others' backs (adolescence, college, 20s) to building up each others' lives (adulthood).

Your true friends have bigger dreams for you than you have for yourself.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#59

Had plenty of online friends come and go. What I found is that it usually took online relationships longer to get to know each other in some ways, and quicker in other ways. It was no fun realizing after a few IRL visits that we really just didn't like each other unless careful email communications was our primary means of interaction. With some folks the time it takes to write an email is all the filter is needed. S…

All online relationships are only for the good times. You really need a friend in bad times, and then you'll find out who is really a friend.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#60
post #59

Had plenty of online friends come and go. What I found is that it usually took online relationships longer to get to know each other in some ways, and quicker in other ways. It was no fun realizing after a few IRL visits that we really just didn't like each other unless careful email communications was our primary means of interaction. With some folks the time it takes to write an email is all the filter is needed. S…

All online relationships are only for the good times. You really need a friend in bad times, and then you'll find out who is really a friend.

And much of the time, that friend is the online friend.
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