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Online Friends Are Real Friends

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Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#31

Post by andrepd »

paul7986 wrote: post #30
0xDEAFBEAD wrote: post #27

For online friendship to really work, we need to solve the problem of pig-butchering scammers (scammers who "make friends with you" and eventually get you to give them money somehow, e.g. by depositing money in a "crypto trading platform", sending money for a "health crisis", etc.) This problem will only get worse with conversational AI agents/deepfakes/etc. For every human seeking genuine friendship there might be 1…

Use apps like Snapchat to ensure they are who they say they are (if they refuse to verify via snap or insta's snap feature don't bother with them). If they are not local delete them immediately if they ever ask for money or give a sob story, no matter how long you've been chatting! Protect yourself and don't be a fool as the Internet can be amazing on one side (have many chat buds on Snap and other apps who have veri…

What do you mean snap feature? Can you explain?

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#33

Post by tayo42 »

apparent wrote: post #29

There are a couple people I've met on HN, then emailed with, then met IRL. There are also some people I've known IRL, who then saw my stuff on HN and reconnected with me IRL. The former is neat, but the latter is even better.

I am the complete opposite. I like my pseudo-anonymity (I figured with enough effort some one could figure out who I am) and the freedom to be an idiot or have a bad day online that comes with that.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#34

Post by ZeWaka »

an0malous wrote: post #2

How do you make online friends? I’ve been on Reddit for many years and have rarely even DM’ed anyone. I’ve also tried apps like Boo but the conversations always fizzle out.

Shared interests on small chat platforms. Discords for a niche subject replaced the old IRC channels. Twitch chats for small-medium streamers also work similarly (which was based on IRC!)

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#35

Post by kator »

I met my wife playing Star Wars Galaxies, online. She was member #4 in the guild I ran, The Trade Federation on Flurry, one of a whole crew of people I'd never met in my life. It was a very interesting way to meet, to get to know a person with zero real physical input, no pics (we're too old for that stuff), and we talked on and on about philosophy, life, kids, learning, loving, challenges. For a good while it was just the words, no idea what the other looked like or how old, none of the things you'd normally sort people on before you decide they're worth your time.

The reality is, with no face and no resume in the way, all you've got is the actual person, what they laugh at and how they handle an idea they don't agree with. And in an MMO you see even more, how they solve problems, do quests, handle loot, and deal with moving through the game. That turned out to be the part that actually matters, and it's usually the last thing you learn about someone you met in person, not the first.

At some point we made the leap; she was in Tennessee and I was in California, so meeting in person was a very big deal. I flew out and drove deep into Tennessee, and we met for the first time in a Food City parking lot. It was amazing, we talked for hours.

As they say, "and the rest is history." We married and have been together for 20 years. Meeting her, and a whole crew of people I never met in person but still call friends, is the primary reason I joined the team trying to keep SWG alive [1]. We both still have fond memories of our time together in game, and now in real life.

So when someone tells me online friends aren't real friends, I just smile, because I married mine. And yes, I'm married to a gamer chick, and it's amazing! And all these years later, she's still my friend too. :)

[1] https://www.swgemu.com/forums/showthread.php?t=216279

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#36

Post by bluefirebrand »

ZeWaka wrote: post #34
an0malous wrote: post #2

How do you make online friends? I’ve been on Reddit for many years and have rarely even DM’ed anyone. I’ve also tried apps like Boo but the conversations always fizzle out.

Shared interests on small chat platforms. Discords for a niche subject replaced the old IRC channels. Twitch chats for small-medium streamers also work similarly (which was based on IRC!)

I find that niche Discords are so much harder to find and join than niche IRC channels used to be

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#38

Post by brailsafe »

I think a more salient point is made here:

> "In addition, there's generally a lower chance that the friendship develops out of convenience alone. Don't get me wrong, many in-person friendships are born this way and can turn into the most meaningful lifelong connections."

I don't have any "online friends" at the moment, but if I did, I'd have met them in the online equivalent of my city, but not at work and not next door, not in highschool. On the extreme end of convenience, you have precarious, proximity-oriented, passive, almost lazy social activity; you meet the friends at work, and you might invite them to drive out to your bbq in the burbs where you've also invited the people next door and across the lane. On the extreme other end you have friends that occur despite every communication and proximity challenge being thrown in your way. Great friends come from mutual investment despite some level of inconvenience you both can tolerate, and it's my opinion that if the seeds of the friendship are planted only in the shallow soil of easy access, then the plant won't bear much fruit, and may be ripped out of the ground as soon a layoff rolls around.

I don't online friends as meaningfully distinct from the requirements of any other robust type of friendship. They're just formed in the ephemeral online equivalent of a cosmopolitan city. I have strong friendships in different pockets pf the city for different reasons in different circles, and don't think they'd all work well together in the same room. Some I climb mountains with, some I watch movies with, some I play video games with.

Online acquaintances meanwhile, are formed in one discrete silo of interaction and don't stretch beyond it, much like your nextdoor neighbor or coworker.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#39

Post by tehlike »

evaneykelen wrote: post #4

My son made online friends when he was 14, playing games together with them on Steam. When he is playing a game with them, I often hear him roar with laughter, but they can also be quite serious and talk about life and school. Last month, we took him to Wrocław to meet them, and it was marvelous. My wife and I got to know the parents of these boys (16-17 yo now), had dinner together, and we separated as friends. My s…

As an introvert, my best friends I still talk to today are online friends. We met a few times when I was teenager, but then we moved different places. Online communication still goes on.

He's a lucky guy that has parents that understand him.

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