Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

Edit: some people have replied saying why religion is helpful. Ok. But that doesn't answer my question of why is it showing up so much on HN lately.

Roughly 50% of cognitive psychology is reproducible

Worse or barely as good as a coin toss

Here's a psychiatrist arguing Americans have become addicted to therapy and lost their nerve for normal irrational aspects of reality: https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/archive/2024/02/how-we-...

Therapy is just the new religion; used to ostracize and denigrate and demonize people who don't confess their sins to a therapist and receive absolution

It's another "intelligent design" moment; traditional values wrapped in atheist language as religious language has fallen out of favor

Keep in mind therapists are human meat suits with bills and rent to pay.

It's just more capitalism. You're paying for a friendly ear because you have no friends

You're there to learn. It's called Bible study for a reason.

When I came back to church after 10 years as an avowed agnostic/atheist I didn't believe. I did listen and pay attention a lot better than I did as a child. Listening with an open mind and an unhardened heart make a difference.

There are different types of churches too. In my experience most "mega churches" truly cater to this more curious audience. It's more of the movie going experience where you can walk in like anyone else, without having to know anybody, sit down and just listen to the service. Then get up and leave without talking to anybody if you don't want to. Messages tend to be tailored to the idea that any given week you're going to have people who have never set foot in a church before in life.

When I came back, I went to one of these for about 6 years (New Spring Church in South Carolina). Eventually, I wanted more and we switched to a more traditional church with Adult Sunday School and a men's (or women's) Bible study one night a week.

Churches are welcoming places but everybody there is going to be different. If you tell somebody you don't believe, some people are going to be thankful that you're there and others aren't going to have any idea what to say. That's pretty normal. Faking it is a little different though. No reason to fake it. Just be honest that you don't believe but you're here and willing to listen.

I know how much it sucks, and how tempting it is to fall into a spiral of blaming yourself. It’s possible to learn to accept yourself and improve these attitudes and behaviors, but it takes time and work and it won’t be a straight line. Use your doctors as expert resources and listen to them, but they’re not all-knowing wizards, and the drugs aren’t magic. Take responsibility, read books, take your own actions. Now you have time to do the obvious things that everyone already knows they should do to be healthy: exercise, eat well, sleep at the same time each day, see your friends and family, help other people, don’t doomscroll or game all day, keep your apartment clean. Find little projects to work on to help build your sense of agency and self-esteem, maybe not software stuff to start with since you have a lot of complex negativity built up around that.

Oh also, on the specific point of thinking you write bad quality software… you graduated in 2024. You’re basically brand new at this. Most people write shit software when they start out, don’t beat yourself up over this.

Good luck.