One way that I leave a trace, which is a practice I've adopted from Simon Willison, is to record blogmarks for interesting and useful things I come across. Sometimes I just leave a pull quote, but usually I try to add my own thoughts or make a connection to something else.
Leave a Trace
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Re: Leave a Trace
#62In contrast: A few years ago I was hiking on the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT). One of the few rules to follow there is to explicitly leave no trace , in respect to nature and others.
The common saying is 'Take only photographs, leave only footprints.'
Let me guess, there are signs posted all along the trail about this?
Re: Leave a Trace
#63Leaving a trace is something I've been grappling with which seemed incredibly straight forward initially as an open source developer. These days, I find myself questioning for whom am I leaving a trace for? What kinds of humans or entities? Do I care about the kinds of entities who will inhabit the future? Or will their value system be so different to my own that I'd prefer not to have anything to do with them. Beyon…
I actually use this line of reasoning to motivate and inspire some of my own art and cultural artifacts. When a far future galactic civilization pauses to ask, “who are we and where did we come from“, they might just look back at the ledger of humanity’s written outputs. In this sense, the entire trace we manage to save to disk could be viewed as a body of work were any of it to survive. Even pieces of work that nobo…
This is how I used to see it. It made my work feel special just knowing that other people would use it and appreciate it.
I think because I felt a stronger sense that other people were my kin.
Now I feel like I don't belong, I feel that I am different and I don't know how to interpret other people's appreciation because they probably don't feel it the way I do when I appreciate something. I feel more exploited than appreciated.
Part of me is wondering if some people who used my open source projects thought to themselves "What a sucker... Working for free so I can monetize his work." And getting some kick out of that. There's a fundamental difference of values there. It didn't occur to me that this is the lens through which a lot of people view the world.
Re: Leave a Trace
#64"You live only as long as the last person who remembers you" ~ Westworld
Re: Leave a Trace
#65Earlier quoted context omitted.
The price of community is inconvenience
The price of a strong community is extreme annoyance (and it's worth every bit of frustration)
that's not a strong community, but an overbearing, suffocating one. but that behavior leads to disagreement or disunity. it's why i left germany/europe btw. a strong community stands by its members. it supports them. it doesn't annoy them.
Re: Leave a Trace
#66Earlier quoted context omitted.
> ask the people you're waiting in line alongside if they have any good jokes. I know no one who tries striking up a conversation with strangers, and I feel like the majority of strangers would be annoyed/uncomfortable with this.
Somehow everyone gets friends - which means at some point in life everyone did talk to a stranger.
I feel like there are natural settings for making friends.
E.g.
- Frequenting the same restaurants/stores (HT earlier sibling comment)
- Joining clubs/communities/churches
- Parents of kids’ friends
- Networking: Friends of family / family of friends / friends of friends
- Workplace (obviously)
I feel like this is how friendships/relationships happen more organically vs. the OP’s suggestion of talking to “someone waiting in line”.
Re: Leave a Trace
#67You can leave traces in the physical world too, although it's often looked down on as vandalism.
There's non-destructive ways to do so; take a photo, post a review, write a blog post. Actually Facebook and Instagram are known platforms to "leave a trace" like that, its shady side aside. But also, plenty of public places like museums, restaurants - at least where I live - have a "guest book" where you can leave a message. I like to believe other visitors and the staff have a leaf through those every once in a whi…
Guest books are neat, but it's rare for someone maintain a guest book for the underside of a road bridge for example (with some geocaches being an exception!)
Re: Leave a Trace
#68Earlier quoted context omitted.
> ask the people you're waiting in line alongside if they have any good jokes. I know no one who tries striking up a conversation with strangers, and I feel like the majority of strangers would be annoyed/uncomfortable with this.
Somehow everyone gets friends - which means at some point in life everyone did talk to a stranger.
for me the key difference is who initiates the conversation. i never do, unless i have to. but i want to talk to people, so my approach is to put myself into situations where they want to talk to me. the next issue is that sometimes the conversation is boring. that's stressful, but i have more control here because i can try to change the topic. i already know that this person wants to talk, so now it's my turn to probe and find out if they want to talk about something that i find interesting. it helps to have a wide range of interests, and for me the main problem is meaningless smalltalk, but anything deeper that is of interest to the other person is ok again. i act like i am amateur anthropologist. tell me something about yourself...
Re: Leave a Trace
#69There was nowhere to comment.
Re: Leave a Trace
#70Earlier quoted context omitted.
As a fellow introvert, I would recommend that you see it as taking medication. Or getting exercise. You don't do it because you like it. You do it because if you don't, then you'll be worse off years later.
> You do it because if you don't, then you'll be worse off years later. This feels hyperbolic. While I would agree that community and remaining connected are very important to overall health, I don’t feel like making a habit of talking to strangers is a prerequisite.
> This feels hyperbolic.
In my experience, it is not.
I'm "on the spectrum." In my case, it has been a net positive, because it afforded me the career that I have, but it has made interpersonal relationships difficult.
I have also spent my entire adult life, in a community that forces us to have fairly intimate interpersonal relationships (a program of personal Recovery).
It has been exhausting (you'll always find me in the kitchen at parties), but it has also been seriously therapeutic.
These days, it's almost unnoticeable. Definitely still there (ask my wife), but most folks never have a clue.