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I analysed 20 years of my chats

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Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#81

Post by bonesss »

astura wrote: post #74
DesaiAshu wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You still can. Most people have more and less social periods of their lives. I have plenty of _very_ social friends in their 40s/50s who weren't as social in their 20s. Or the opposite. Life is long, and many of us need decades focused inwards with others focused outwards

How, though, If you never developed social skills?

How to start riding a bicycle in your 40s, if you never developed bike skills? How to snowboard, if you never developed snowboard skills?

… Do it; suck. Do it more; suck less.

“How to Make Friends and Influence People” is a great & classic book about giving people social room, focus, support, and attention with genuineness and humour (“influence” isn’t meant in a manipulative sense). Effort and attention are required, and practice, but that’s the cost of change and improvement.

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#82

Post by watwut »

saligne wrote: post #37
dwedge wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd be pretty angry if I found out someone I chatted to on Signal was running a service to workaround my message expiry choice and archive my messages. And breaking that trust just to run it through an LLM?

Be angry then, IM communication is not a contract with terms unilaterly decided by one party. Or put a confidential signature with every message, see how well that works for you

If I need a contract for you to treat me decently and respect my choices, I really dont think you can count as a "friend" at all.

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#83

Post by sixhobbits »

sunaookami wrote: post #45
sixhobbits wrote: post #22

I do some similar charting etc with telegram data dumps that you can still get from the "telegram lite" desktop app even though they removed the export functionality from the main app. For removing noise you might want to look into TF-IDF instead of the manual method described in the post that I didn't understand. It basically looks for words common across the whole corpus as noise or ones that appear within a specif…

Huh, the export function in Telegram Desktop ( https://github.com/telegramdesktop/tdesktop/ ) is still there. Click on the three dots while in a chat and then Export.

ah right, I think that might be what is "Telegram Lite" on the App Store

These are the two options I see to download https://i.ritzastatic.com/static/1e133ef5057a949b7ddd92e5668...

And the 'main' one that I usually use doesn't have export settings that I can find

https://i.ritzastatic.com/static/18db23448a373338766bf419fa0...

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#84

Post by sublinear »

rabarbra wrote: post #56
Gigachad wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My advice is to go somewhere in person and to keep going there consistently. It could be a club, a meetup, volunteering, etc. The internet is the fast food of socialising. While it might be quick and easy, the quality is terrible. You’ll make real life long friends just being in the same room as someone regularly and chatting face to face.

I'm in a similar situation — 0 friends, 0 regular contacts, 0 significant others in general (though maybe I'm less worried about that than the original poster). So, I have no chats to analyze. What you offer doesn't work for me. I studied onsite at 2 universities and have 0 contacts/friends from there. I've now been studying for 3 years at an onsite school (I'm there every evening after work and on weekends) — 0 cont…

That's a really strong signal you are either being too picky or focused on yourself. This isn't necessarily "bad", just an observation. Sometimes the environments you put yourself in lack the spark.

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#85

Post by chinathrow »

ZpJuUuNaQ5 wrote: post #30

>15 close friends, 50 regular contacts, 150 active acquaintances Seems like a lot. For me, it's 0 close friends, 0 regular contacts, and 0 active acquaintances. I think I simply never developed any useful social skills which would help me make and keep friends or acquaintances. I wish I had (somehow) kept in touch with at least some people I have met throughout my life. It has never been easier to stay in contact tha…

> I have only now started to realize that all that vacuous superiority has led me nowhere

It's not too late, but it might need more effort than if earlier.

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#86

Post by randusername »

astura wrote: post #74
DesaiAshu wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You still can. Most people have more and less social periods of their lives. I have plenty of _very_ social friends in their 40s/50s who weren't as social in their 20s. Or the opposite. Life is long, and many of us need decades focused inwards with others focused outwards

How, though, If you never developed social skills?

Find ways to lower the stakes.

Make new friends with others that have underdeveloped social skills and figure it out together.

Do things in a group in some activity that won't put the spotlight directly on you and where you can observe others.

Explore therapy where odds of rejection are pretty low since you're paying them for coaching.

I think noticing how children play is very instructive, but if you don't have good social awareness that could get you in trouble. Kids haven't internalized all the baggage you and I might have about social rejection and awkwardness yet. They just confidently say "hey I like your bracelets will you tell me what they mean to you?" and if it doesn't pan out this time they play with someone else. It's the social anxiety / awkwardness that usually makes people the most uncomfortable, not the atypical interactions. Kids don't have that at all.

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#87

Post by eamag »

rootsudo wrote: post #52

This is a great idea, I was leaning towards doing it with openrouter since the cost now is so affordable then codex but seeing someone else do it, can do it too with WhatsApp, iMessages, facebook, scattered irc logs Also email sentiment too how fun

Would not recommend to send your chats to some provider on openrouter. IMO one should only use local models for this sort of data

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#88

Post by inanutshellus »

ifh-hn wrote: post #69

Why do people keep chats? I have none, oldest is 6 months which is when I set my chat app to delete them. I'm the same with emails. Genuinely don't understand why you'd want to keep this stuff. I'd never go back and reread them.

Did you keep your high school yearbooks?

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#89

Post by olcay_ »

pingou wrote: post #71
ifh-hn wrote: post #69

Why do people keep chats? I have none, oldest is 6 months which is when I set my chat app to delete them. I'm the same with emails. Genuinely don't understand why you'd want to keep this stuff. I'd never go back and reread them.

Why do you feel the need to delete your chats? Is it to save space? Would you still do it if you had unlimited storage?

I set my chats to be automatically deleted in 24 hours. This way when we have a small argument with someone, there's less chance of someone being triggered/angered by re-reading the chat. Although there have been rare cases where I had big arguments and would've liked to have the receipts.

Re: I analysed 20 years of my chats

#90

Post by eddieroger »

lowercased wrote: post #64
ZpJuUuNaQ5 wrote: post #30

>15 close friends, 50 regular contacts, 150 active acquaintances Seems like a lot. For me, it's 0 close friends, 0 regular contacts, and 0 active acquaintances. I think I simply never developed any useful social skills which would help me make and keep friends or acquaintances. I wish I had (somehow) kept in touch with at least some people I have met throughout my life. It has never been easier to stay in contact tha…

Perhaps the name "ZpJuUuNaQ5" makes it harder for people to be able to do casual chit chat and introduce you to their friends?

> Hey, Z, how's it going?

People have had "weird" or out of the norm nicknames forever. Where do you think nicknames come from?

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