Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The Quiet Ones

nytimes.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

261–270 of 397 posts

Re: The Quiet Ones

#261

Post by kahawe »

peteretep wrote: post #218
ComputerGuru wrote: post #80

Is the "Quiet Car" really as intellectual as Kreider makes it out to be? Is it really full of readers and intellectualists, people that take pride in knowledge and are aloof from the mundane? This is an interesting situation: put the people you're most likely to enjoy a good, thought-provoking, intellectual, factually-backed, philosophical conversation in a car together... where they take a vow of silence for the dur…

> Is the "Quiet Car" really as intellectual as Kreider makes it out to be? Is it really full of readers and intellectualists, people that take pride in knowledge and are aloof from the mundane? No. > This is an interesting situation: put the people you're most likely to enjoy a good, thought-provoking, intellectual, factually-backed, philosophical conversation in a car together... where they take a vow of silence for…

You perfectly summed up what I have been feeling about quite a few people ever since I first met them.

Very typically they are the "oh no I do not own a television set" type because allegedly 100% ALL of TV is just pure nonsense and not a single good program has EVER been shown on TV, according to them. And they always make it a very grave point in ever conversation that they read books and a certain book said this-and-that. As if the fact they read a printed book alone really sets them apart from the rest of the population and this kind of information could have never been shared on TV or a good website. Yet they fail to apply anything they read in an actual conversation where they are actually responding to the other person and adapting things to the given context of the conversation and not just dropping names and empty, allegedly-sophisticated phrases.

And then they always make it another grave point to tell everyone how much they value and require intelligent conversation and how they see themselves as educated and well-read and they make sure to drop the right names and point to that fact as often as possible.

I think that is why those self-proclaimed "intelligence salons" are so horrible, specifically because they attract this kind of people.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#262

Post by saraid216 »

tehayj wrote: post #237
bambax wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think the fundamental problem with noisy people is (...) that they don't have any train of thought to interrupt I'm not sure I understand what you're saying: are you saying that noisy people don't think (or are stupid)? I'm a "quiet one" too, but I think noisy people are the opposite of "thinkless"; they appear to be afraid of their own mind and what it could tell them about the insignificance of the world in gen…

Many people are addicted to stimuli in whatever form because they do not want to be left alone with their thoughts. Some just turn on the TV whenever they are alone, some have to socialize and can't stand being alone, others do drugs. Time alone in the nature or meditation is quite the opposite and something I would wish those stimuli seeker would experience more often.

> Some just turn on the TV whenever they are alone, some have to socialize and can't stand being alone, others do drugs.

Actually, I've had it pointed out that you'll see people crinkling bags, shuffling feet, coughing and clearing throats, and so on if you're in an otherwise silent room. I know that I'm guilty of it sometimes, and when I stay mindful and clamp down on it, I notice someone else picks up the slack.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#263

Post by Mordor »

pg wrote: post #81

My life has been a search for quiet for as long as I can remember. I think the fundamental problem with noisy people is not that they're inconsiderate, but that they don't have any train of thought to interrupt, and they thus don't realize the havoc they're wreaking. When I was living in Providence, working on On Lisp , I told my loud but well-meaning neighbors that I was writing a hard computer book, and that made t…

I don't agree at all - some people require stillness and quiet while others don't. My most creative moments have been drunk in the early hours with music full blast. Others in a quiet office with everyone gone home. If society has become louder, then that's the new morality, otherwise there would be 'noisy' carriages on an otherwise 'quiet' train ;-)

Re: The Quiet Ones

#264

Post by saraid216 »

marbletiles wrote: post #246
PKop wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Should he disregard his observations because it offends your sensibilities?

No, he should disregard them because as written they're sexist, and don't even have good methodology to try and stand in their defense. His confirmation bias is one thing, the assertion that these women "literally feel a compulsion" that he hasn't justified is another thing entirely.

It was more ageist than sexist. It was a pretty standard "get off my lawn and turn down that music" comment.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#265

Post by kahawe »

dschiptsov wrote: post #234

Hell is the "ordinary people".)

Curiously enough, this Sartre quote (originally l'enfer, c'est les autres) is used in a very different sense from what it originally meant. Typically people like to quote it as an allegedly-educated way of saying all people are annoying - when originally it was nothing but the end of Sartre's novel "No Exit" in which one of the main characters is baffled by the fact that hell doesn't need torture devices but just a group of people you can't escape for eternity. The "can't escape for eternity" part is key.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#266

Post by anthonyb »

shanelja wrote: post #226
pg wrote: post #81

My life has been a search for quiet for as long as I can remember. I think the fundamental problem with noisy people is not that they're inconsiderate, but that they don't have any train of thought to interrupt, and they thus don't realize the havoc they're wreaking. When I was living in Providence, working on On Lisp , I told my loud but well-meaning neighbors that I was writing a hard computer book, and that made t…

My trick is to use http://rainymood.com - the background noise of a storm is surprisingly peaceful.

I usually turn the thunder and lighting on and listen to this too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTVraVgzC9U

Maybe not quite so peaceful :)

Edit: My mistake, I'm normally on http://raining.fm/

Re: The Quiet Ones

#267

Post by mcdowall »

I travel two hours each way to work to London, and likewise, I sit in the quiet carriage.

I've been that person to stand up, walk over and have a quiet word, but all to often I'm met with hostility and shock that we should even dare to police our own quiet space.

The regular commuters in the whole are respectful and as the writer alludes to, treat the carriage as their personal quiet time, but as Brits, confrontation such as this is a cultural misnomer, we just don't tend to do it and I can't think that I will ever feel happy about having to do so, much more I just wish people would be more respectful.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#268

Post by anthonyb »

derekp7 wrote: post #131
jseliger wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I sympathize with whoever criticized the guy for loud typing. I actually don't mind typing: to me, it sounds like ideas. It's also regular enough to become part of the background, whereas something like music isn't, because it's too variable. >my Bose noise cancelling headphones are worth their weight in gold. I'm going to be that obnoxious guy: Amazon lists Bose QC 15s (the model I have) as 7.4 ounces. The spot-pri…

>Are they really worth $12,580? I hate to be the other obnoxious guy that responds to the self proclaimed obnoxious guy, but I see the quite a bit lately, even paraded in XKCD. Is there a significant group of people that absolutely abhors all rhetorical figures of speech? Or is it only specific ones, such as metaphors and hyperbole, with simile being mostly OK? Just curious.

If you can't deal with obnoxious people, you probably shouldn't be using the internet...

Re: The Quiet Ones

#269

Post by koide »

__david__ wrote: post #245
gizzlon wrote: post #235

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My theory is that this would die down after a while if you don't "feed" it.. at least for most people. What is your experience? Have you ever tried to force silence upon yourself?

What do you mean force silence upon myself? Are we talking meditation or just working/reading in quiet places? For minutes or hours (or days)? I first noticed the music thing when I was on the high school swim team and would swim for multiple hours every day. Under water it's not quiet, but there are no discernible sounds beyond the water itself--all I would hear was the music in my head. I don't mean to sound like I…

Force silence upon oneself is to shut up the mind as soon as it starts blabbering. There are means to ease this up, like counting or looking at things and focusing on their characteristics (green jacket, yellow leave, noisy car) or feeling your body (my thumb tickles, my stomach feels empty).

Just stop when the brain starts picking up from there: "My stomach feels empty (BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T EATEN AND WHENEVER YOU DO YOU EAT TRASH)" you just stop the thought on the BE and focus on the next inner or outer thing or on the next number of the count. When you can't stop the thought on time, just ignore it and move on.

At first is hard, especially with a noisy brain, but it gets easier and easier.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#270

Post by koide »

com2kid wrote: post #250
VexXtreme wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am the same way. I always find it perplexing how most people can't spend literally 10 minutes in complete silence with their own thoughts without getting anxious. I notice this mostly with the younger generation these days (young women especially). They literally feel the compulsion to always have some sort external stimuli coming in, usually in the form of a constant stream of music from their phones/MP3 players.…

You do realize that there is always external stimulus around right? Be it the noise of the ventilation system, or car horns outside, true silence rarely exists. That said, when I am at home there is little else except for the sound of my computer fans as I read a book. But when I am at work, I most certainly choose to control what background noises I listen to. Music is most certainly a part of that. As for stimulus…

In fact, true silence is so rare, it is perceived as noise.
Post reply on HN