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The Quiet Ones

nytimes.com

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Re: The Quiet Ones

#201

Post by bpatrianakos »

fudged71 wrote: post #191
bpatrianakos wrote: post #75

Oh, the quiet car. I ride the quiet car every weekday to and from work into and out of Chicago (except ours is Metra, not Amtrak). His description of it is completely accurate. The people on the quiet car tend to be thinkers, readers, writers, and I dare say just a bit more intelligent than the average rider. I've had the same experience before. For some reason people think the signs and the announcements don't apply…

You have trains with quiet cars? That sounded neat at first, until I realized that everyone where I live is quiet on the train anyways so it isn't a problem.

They may be quiet but I'm not sure it compares with the quiet car. On the quiet car, when all goes well, it is 100% silent. No one talks and there's just no noise at all. If your train of thought is broken for a moment and you take in the silence it's almost eerie. That's why even the slightest noise like someone typing can become so disturbing. I don't know, maybe the people on your train really are that quiet but I hope you get to experience a quiet car someday to know for sure because it really is great.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#202

Post by kellishaver »

mgkimsal wrote: post #89
bpatrianakos wrote: post #75

Oh, the quiet car. I ride the quiet car every weekday to and from work into and out of Chicago (except ours is Metra, not Amtrak). His description of it is completely accurate. The people on the quiet car tend to be thinkers, readers, writers, and I dare say just a bit more intelligent than the average rider. I've had the same experience before. For some reason people think the signs and the announcements don't apply…

"I'm good on the quiet car (though I have had my moments I'll admit). There are people of all ages,miracles, and genders who behave this way..." You probably don't encounter the same people all the time. There's enough people out in the world such that each one can "have their moments" when they're around you, and nowhere else, and you wouldn't know the difference. I do sympathize with you though. I've got a sound se…

Do you get much flak from others for your sensitivity to noise?

Some noises bother me a lot. Anything that's repetitive will annoy me to the point that I basically cannot function and get extremely angry, and it only takes a minute or two to get to that level. Sometimes sounds (and not necessarily loud ones) are physically uncomfortable.

I have similar issues with some textures (in food, clothing, etc.) and am very sensitive to smells (the cause nausea and headaches).

All my life I have been told I need to "get over" this, which I have certainly tried to do, but there seems to be only so much I can do about it. People who don't experience this level of sensitivity just think I'm being difficult and that I do this by choice. Frustrating.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#203

Post by __david__ »

VexXtreme wrote: post #154
pg wrote: post #81

My life has been a search for quiet for as long as I can remember. I think the fundamental problem with noisy people is not that they're inconsiderate, but that they don't have any train of thought to interrupt, and they thus don't realize the havoc they're wreaking. When I was living in Providence, working on On Lisp , I told my loud but well-meaning neighbors that I was writing a hard computer book, and that made t…

I am the same way. I always find it perplexing how most people can't spend literally 10 minutes in complete silence with their own thoughts without getting anxious. I notice this mostly with the younger generation these days (young women especially). They literally feel the compulsion to always have some sort external stimuli coming in, usually in the form of a constant stream of music from their phones/MP3 players.…

I can only speak for myself but I like to listen to music because when I don't my mind starts blaring its own music at me from within. On repeat. All day. It can actually get really distracting (I'll start singing instead of programming) and I have to start up some music to distract that part of my brain and let the rest of it work on whatever I'm supposed to be doing. I find that certain music (psytrance and goa, the louder the better) distract just the smallest part of the brain, maximizing the part that that can work on whatever problem I need it to.

Similarly, I watch TV at night to dull the inner monologue in my head so I can fall asleep. If I don't my stupid mind fixates on the most negative aspects of my life (even when things are going well) and I stay awake for hours feeling horrible. TV, music, and reading can distract me and let me fall asleep peacefully.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#204

Post by irahul »

JabavuAdams wrote: post #192
irahul wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Eventually he told me he was going to leave because I was eating so rudely. Does this happen in a jovial manner, or people really take serious offence to simple inconveniences?

I find it seriously annoying, but I realize that others don't. The problem is that if you don't like it, you really don't like it. Meanwhile, if you don't mind it, people who do seem like jerks. Imagine something more universally recognized as rude. E.g. Eating with someone who keeps making really smelly farts or picking his nose all the time. The disgust is visceral, and hard to rationalize away.

> The problem is that if you don't like it, you really don't like it. Meanwhile, if you don't mind it, people who do seem like jerks.

It's more like how you say it. "Hey Buddy, if you don't stop slurping, I am going to chew and then open my mouth wide to show you my handiwork." is very different from "I am leaving. You are so rude."

> The disgust is visceral, and hard to rationalize away.

The keyword is "friend" - someone who you can talk to; asking him not to do that as it is making you uncomfortable should be pretty easy.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#205

Post by PKop »

esharef wrote: post #179
VexXtreme wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am the same way. I always find it perplexing how most people can't spend literally 10 minutes in complete silence with their own thoughts without getting anxious. I notice this mostly with the younger generation these days (young women especially). They literally feel the compulsion to always have some sort external stimuli coming in, usually in the form of a constant stream of music from their phones/MP3 players.…

"young women especially" really?

Should he disregard his observations because it offends your sensibilities?

Re: The Quiet Ones

#207

Post by rurounijones »

the_cat_kittles wrote: post #92

In Japan, you get a level of public acoustic courtesy that is wonderful. Coming back here made me realize how outrageous it is that we tolerate things like people talking on a cellphone on an otherwise silent bus.

Regarding being obviously loud and noisy they are very good.

However at least 3 times a week I have to tap someone on the shoulder because they are playing music at about 300Decibels over their shitty cheap ear-buds (Uaually white ones.)

Buy a decent set that isolates you from outside noise and you won't have to deafen yourself (and us)

/rant

Re: The Quiet Ones

#208

Post by purplelobster »

jerf wrote: post #37

Sometimes, the urbanites on HN will pile on suburbia, wondering how anybody can live there. This is one of the reasons I often feel the same way, only in reverse. As I sit here, I can not hear any sounds not originating in my house. While I certainly visit the places with Musak, loud bars, et al, I don't live there. It isn't as grating when there is surcease. I'm not saying that Here It Is, The Reason Suburban Living…

I grew on on the country side. On an island. In the middle of the Baltic sea. In the winter, it would get so dark that I couldn't see my hand before my eyes, and couldn't hear a single sound. Actually this had some strange effects on me, being sort of a sleep walker and all. I would often wake up in the middle of the night being confused, not knowing where I was. I had to feel my bed, find the floor, the walls, the furniture, until I finally come to my senses and realize where I was. Kind of like sensory deprivation. It never happens nowadays, when I live in a city, because it never gets completely dark. Not really on topic, but thought it might be interesting, maybe others have had the same experience. I think growing up this way made me more sensitive to sounds in general, a ticking clock can keep me awake for hours...

Re: The Quiet Ones

#209

Post by dsirijus »

__david__ wrote: post #203
VexXtreme wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am the same way. I always find it perplexing how most people can't spend literally 10 minutes in complete silence with their own thoughts without getting anxious. I notice this mostly with the younger generation these days (young women especially). They literally feel the compulsion to always have some sort external stimuli coming in, usually in the form of a constant stream of music from their phones/MP3 players.…

I can only speak for myself but I like to listen to music because when I don't my mind starts blaring its own music at me from within. On repeat. All day . It can actually get really distracting (I'll start singing instead of programming) and I have to start up some music to distract that part of my brain and let the rest of it work on whatever I'm supposed to be doing. I find that certain music (psytrance and goa, t…

I can quite relate to you, music is around me whole day, otherwise I fidget, hum, whistle, tap, sing...

What I prefer over TV for killing the brain noise before sleep is, again, music.

Music is the best.

Re: The Quiet Ones

#210

Post by kkihara »

pg wrote: post #81

My life has been a search for quiet for as long as I can remember. I think the fundamental problem with noisy people is not that they're inconsiderate, but that they don't have any train of thought to interrupt, and they thus don't realize the havoc they're wreaking. When I was living in Providence, working on On Lisp , I told my loud but well-meaning neighbors that I was writing a hard computer book, and that made t…

Am I supposed to take understand that it's okay to be condescending and dismissive if you're pg and not anyone else? I'm really shocked no one else has called him out on this. Normally I see people jumping all over comments like this. Is HN such a cult of personality?

Everyone, even "ordinary" or "normal" people have their trains of thought and to belittle them by suggesting otherwise...

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