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The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

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Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#61

Post by fweimer »

ElevenLathe wrote: post #56
drakonka wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most 19 year olds probably wouldn't opt into injecting themselves twice a day for weeks and dealing with the side effects of the injections, then the subsequent extraction procedures (likely for multiple rounds) even if it was paid for. Which is reasonable, considering most women who want children will have them without IVF and don't need to go through any of that.

Doesn't that just make it a cheaper policy to implement, since very few will take advantage of it?

It still might end up as yet another thing we do to women's bodies.

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#62

Post by tonymet »

Employers encouraging egg freezing by offering egg freezing benefits is an abysmal conflict of interest. Employers reap tremendous medium-term benefits and the woman bears all of the long-term risks -- in this case the biggest risk of all .

Employers should be required to pay for future maternity disability care insurance e.g. 2-3 years of maternal leave fully paid, elective at any time, even after they separate from the company. Also disability compensation in the event that fertility fails. e.g. $500k / missed fertility .

That would reveal the true success rate of the procedure. If employers or fertility clinics believed it to be a deterministic process, the risks for the employer would be low.

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#63

Post by arjie »

tonymet wrote: post #60
arjie wrote: post #6

If you're curious what it's like for a couple of normies doing IVF, I wrote down our experience here to the degree I remembered: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/IVF

how were the adverse effects during the hormone / endocrine therapy for her?

This is a common question we get. I will ask her again and add it there, but she described:

* feeling bloated during the process (and feeling heavy in the stomach)

* the discomfort of the actual injections (there are two daily)

* pain post-retrieval that was reminiscent of cramps

One of our other friends who had many eggs retrieved on a single cycle actually got ovarian torsion which is supposed to be outrageously painful.

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#64

Post by morkalork »

conductr wrote: post #55
morkalork wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My parents and my spouse's parents were all in their late 30s having children, now we're in the same position due to infertility and now finally going through IVF. We're happy it's working but at the same time it's sad knowing they'll grow up never really knowing their grandparents.

The grandparent situation is sad af. It's also pretty sad being a mid-40s year old dad that doesn't have the energy to keep up with their kid. I pitched a little league game yesterday and it wiped me out. Also, the fact I (and you) will not know our grandchildren very well also is quite sad. If my son has his first kid the same age I had him, I'll be in my 80s when that kid is starting little league (or that age). Th…

>by delaying parenthood - I was just being selfish.. I minimized "shared time on earth"

Exactly. My advice to anyone is not wait. If we hadn't, we would have found out sonner that we needed to go through that process. It's not a "wake up and schedule an appointment tomorrow" kind of thing, it's a treatment of last resort and you can burn years trying, going through evaluations and alternatives first.

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#65

Post by znpy »

alistairSH wrote: post #53
davidelettieri wrote: post #25

Having done IVF with my wife I think this is the most underrated fertility advice available today. I don't understand why governments of countries with increasing average age and low birth rate don't pay for this for all women. This is one the best pro-family policies that can be implemented.

We, in the US, don't even have universal day care, or hundreds of other sensible things that would make child-rearing easy/less expensive. Jumping straight to "let's cover expensive IVF programs" is... well a big leap.

Of course, there are too many “learing” centers draining resources…

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#66

Post by tonymet »

arjie wrote: post #63
tonymet wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

how were the adverse effects during the hormone / endocrine therapy for her?

This is a common question we get. I will ask her again and add it there, but she described: * feeling bloated during the process (and feeling heavy in the stomach) * the discomfort of the actual injections (there are two daily) * pain post-retrieval that was reminiscent of cramps One of our other friends who had many eggs retrieved on a single cycle actually got ovarian torsion which is supposed to be outrageously pa…

thanks for sharing that's helpful. I've heard similar to more moderate ill effects from the therapy

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#67

Post by prmoustache »

Since having kids is so tiring in the early years and often lead to a divorce, it is better to have them early when you are still fresh and handle better the lack of sleep, divorce early and then enjoy part time parenthood when you are still youngish.

I feel I am a better parent now that I am sharing custody of my kids and can better balance personal life and hobbies and parenthood.

A cheaper option would be to find someone looking for kids with no romance and agree on having shared parenthood.

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#68

Post by zzrrt »

znpy wrote: post #65
alistairSH wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We, in the US, don't even have universal day care, or hundreds of other sensible things that would make child-rearing easy/less expensive. Jumping straight to "let's cover expensive IVF programs" is... well a big leap.

Of course, there are too many “learing” centers draining resources…

Then I look forward to DOGE funding more pro-family benefits by eliminating those cases of wasted resources. /s

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#69

Post by bena »

prmoustache wrote: post #67

Since having kids is so tiring in the early years and often lead to a divorce, it is better to have them early when you are still fresh and handle better the lack of sleep, divorce early and then enjoy part time parenthood when you are still youngish. I feel I am a better parent now that I am sharing custody of my kids and can better balance personal life and hobbies and parenthood. A cheaper option would be to find…

I have to ask, what's the custody split?

Re: The optimal age to freeze eggs is 19

#70

Post by znpy »

wredcoll wrote: post #39
SoftTalker wrote: post #21

It's also the optimal age to have children. Fertility is highest, the woman is likely healthy and strong, lowest risk of complications.

Aside from the part where you have to raise them, sure.

It really seems you have no idea what you’re talking about.

I have a couple of friends married for about 4-5 years, with a 4-years old son and a one year old daughter. They both have graduate degrees and stable jobs. They are near 40 years old.

Man, they are two zombies. They are drained. They push forward for the immense love of their kids but it’s incredibly evident they’re drained.

And the thing is… having kids at almost 40 should really be discouraged. They simply don’t have the same energy they had when they were 20, of course. Heck, i’m 33 and it’s evident to me I don’t have the same energy as when I was 23.

This modern idea that one should postpone having kids is incredibly stupid, I hope at some point society will self-correct somehow.

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