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First I was happy to see someone from Vienna but then I noticed hat you're a bot. HN isn't the same anymore...
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How to talk to anyone and why you should
551–560 of 584 posts
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#552Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#553Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Yeah, you see, I don’t think you’ve quite understood the art of talking to anyone Have you? You're dripping with condescension for everyone who's replied to you so far, in addition to the guy in your anecdote. You've asked one person to "fuck off" when they were polite. Do you think closewith or pingou have enjoyed their interaction with you? Or is your art of talking to people just meant to amuse you and ignore th…
> You've asked one person to "fuck off" when they were polite. Someone doesn't understand an example when they see one. > You're dripping with condescension for everyone who's replied to you so far, Yes > Or is your art of talking to people just meant to amuse you and ignore the feelings of others? Every one of you has failed to see what's wrong with expecting people to act the way _you_ want when in public, and been…
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Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#554Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I highly recommend talking to strangers! People are lovely. Go out and try it. Which country are you in? I'm from a latin country and the norm is that you end up chatting about life the universe and everything with any random people you share a space with for more than one minute. But in the USA that doesn't really fly. Talking is transactional, either a business deal is going on or shut up. I've been in the USA fo…
A lot of seemingly casual interactions in the US turn out to be someone trying to sell something. When that happens a 3rd time, you start to ignore random chatter from someone that seems too friendly. The salesperson tactics abuse common social conversation rules, and one ends up feeling like they are being forced to be mean and rude to an idiot. So, to avoid that, we push away chatty strangers in the United States.
It's kind of crazy when someone has an outlier experience and then tries to frame an entire country as being that way.
I've experienced a lot of cultures, countries, and environments. The United States is KNOWN for being a friendly country of people who will talk to you and smile at you for "no reason" other than because Americans are friendly.
Go to many countries in Europe or even Russia, you'll experience the exact oppositive. If you smile at people or talk to a stranger, you will essentially be treated as if something is wrong with you.
Everyone knows this is true about the US. Your comment is clearly trying to portray the United States in a negative light with something that is entirely not true.
And then there's my experience: someone who has lived in the US for over 30+ years.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#555Earlier quoted context omitted.
A lot of seemingly casual interactions in the US turn out to be someone trying to sell something. When that happens a 3rd time, you start to ignore random chatter from someone that seems too friendly. The salesperson tactics abuse common social conversation rules, and one ends up feeling like they are being forced to be mean and rude to an idiot. So, to avoid that, we push away chatty strangers in the United States.
It's kind of crazy when someone has an outlier experience and then tries to frame an entire country as being that way. I've experienced a lot of cultures, countries, and environments. The United States is KNOWN for being a friendly country of people who will talk to you and smile at you for "no reason" other than because Americans are friendly. Go to many countries in Europe or even Russia, you'll experience the exac…
Frame however you need. Born and raised in the USA, lived all over the country, but never the true South. Of course, everywhere is different, and everywhere has friendly and unfriendly people. I've primarily lived in cities with a population greater than 100K, usually several million. I think my statement above stands.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#556Fascinating post for THIS forum.
I don’t know about others but a big reason I went into software development (whether I want to admit it or not) is because I am “naturally” not very skilled in talking to, or dealing with , people.
While I’ve done very well in tech, the truth is, lacking this skill has only been a detriment.
The problem at this point is I truly don’t like random people, and I have no idea how to fix that. Often people are rude, inconsiderate, selfish, etc. the canonical example is being in a row at the grocery store, walking down the row, someone’s cart is just way out in the center blocking your path, and as you approach, they do nothing.
Anyways “people skills” are definitely a SKILL and one I’ve avoided to my detriment over the years. Need to work on that.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#557I talk to everyone. My friends and family joke that it’s impossible for me to go anywhere without getting into conversation with someone. I can’t imagine not doing it. Earlier this year I walked down the main shopping street it the part of the large city where I live, with a colleague from out of town. A few shopkeepers waved through their windows as I went past, the greengrocer came out of his shop to have a quick c…
Genuinely curious as someone who wants to improve… what the hell do you talk about?
I’m trying to picture the random people I encounter while walking my dog, for example. Neighbors who I don’t know. That’d be a great place to start up a convo as I walk by but I draw a complete blank.
0 skill in this.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#558Earlier quoted context omitted.
I never make any small talk because I feel like I don't have anything to say or ask. How do you know what to say? How do you make the conversation flow and not end awkwardly?
You can never go wrong with genuinely asking someone how their day is going. If someone doesn't want to talk it's very easy for them to shutdown the conversation and move on. But, I find most of the time people are dying to talk about how good/bad their day is going. Think of it this way. Everyone's favorite topic is themselves. Give someone an opportunity to talk about themselves and most people will take it. The nu…
What? Where do you live?
I often ask people when I first see them, “ hey how’s it goin’? “
And 99.9% of the time it’s a short “good, u?”
Very much just a hi/hi type oft thing.
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#559Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it depends. Having the kind of network and connections you do connects you with the actual needs of your community At which point, it's not necessarily Transactional, but fostering connection and collaboration in order to create win-win situations for everyone in your community. That's what politicking Should be.
Should be, absolutely. But isn’t where I am. People who go into local politics here seem to be interested in elevating their profile, having influence, or money.
Maybe you can break the cycle?
Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should
#560I talk to everyone. My friends and family joke that it’s impossible for me to go anywhere without getting into conversation with someone. I can’t imagine not doing it. Earlier this year I walked down the main shopping street it the part of the large city where I live, with a colleague from out of town. A few shopkeepers waved through their windows as I went past, the greengrocer came out of his shop to have a quick c…
Genuinely curious as someone who wants to improve… what the hell do you talk about? I’m trying to picture the random people I encounter while walking my dog, for example. Neighbors who I don’t know. That’d be a great place to start up a convo as I walk by but I draw a complete blank. 0 skill in this.
The weather?
Do some self disclosure? Or make something up? Be silly?
"oh it's such a nice day innit? It's a shame the lizard people won bingo but we'll get them next time eh?"
Be silly, get a laugh, and hopefully things unfold from there. Give a compliment! Or share something you're excited about. Imo Self-disclosure is the simplest route towards spurring conversation.
Think of conversation as a medium through which gifts are given. Through giving gifts, bonds are forged.