How to talk to anyone and why you should

Post by Craighead » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 9:23 AM UTC

miroljub wrote: post #270

SequoiaHope wrote: post #11

After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…

This advice is not for everyone. Obviously this works only if you are an extrovert. Introverts would find this kind of interaction a wasteful use of limited social energy available to them.

Post by calcifer » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 9:26 AM UTC

rain_iwakura wrote: post #216

jmye wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean, why does it ruin your day? It's just some random person - you'll likely never see them again, or you'll know to avoid them in the future. Why is the opinion of some rando weighing on you so much?

have you had actually negative interactions like that? they sting for years, even after hundreds of mild-to-positive ones. the brain focuses on risk-minimization and not reward-maximization.

Post by dsego » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 9:29 AM UTC

Post by 7bit » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 9:39 AM UTC

johnnyanmac wrote: post #190

grayhatter wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "I don't want to bother this person". > How do you deal with that? You teach yourself to say no, to the things you don't want to do. I considered leaving just that pithy reply, because that's really it. But some of the extra context; It's not a bother to ask someone to hold the door they're already going through because your hands are full. Starting a conversation is about as intrusive as that. The vast majority of…

>You teach yourself to say no, to the things you don't want to do. I feel that line of thinking can have some very grave consequences. My mind is swimming with intrusive thoughts half the time.

Post by saaaaaam » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 9:40 AM UTC

svat wrote: post #223

saaaaaam wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hold on… what do I believe I am?!

Maybe you did this too: I misread the comment you're replying to as > …you’re arguing against someone who believes they are. when actually it says > …you’re arguing against who someone believes they are. (meaning “you're arguing with someone against who they believe themselves to be” or something like that.)