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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#991

Post by ping00 »

PonyoSunshine wrote: post #741

I am in North Seattle, and I have a flock of nerds under me that would like to see real demonstrations of penetration testing via radio (Wifi and more). I have been proposing doing monthly meetups where we go up on a the rooftop of various buildings, bust out the tools, the antennas, and every other toy we have to scan and show how it's done. There are stories about others and me that the younger generation would lov…

Please count me in if these ever gets going -- I'm a relatively recent transplant (moved here 2 years ago) but found it very easy to plug into the local security scene (Black Lodge Research, Harry's on Thursdays, HushCon, etc.) and while they're fun to hang out and meet other folks in the space, I've been looking for a more hands-on tinkering meetup with clearly defined goals (we are going to learn about XYZ today).

P.S. if you're a hardware nerd, you might like https://dma.space/ (just had their grand opening this weekend) over in Capitol Hill.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#992

Post by Nurw »

ggfdh wrote: post #912
awacs wrote: post #871

I've been a remote engineer for about 10 years now, just over 50, enjoy programming but most of my friends have dropped off or gone crazy (trumpers) in recent years, and I never got married. I recently took a local wheel throwing (pottery class), which was daunting at first, among a class of almost all females, younger, etc, but im 6 months in and literally just interacting with humans is one of the best parts of my…

The inability of your friends to have non-political conversations can be a big part of isolation. I follow the “no politics, no religion” rule when I go out and it’s served me well. You can have political/religious conversations with people who disagree but often it feels like walking in a mine field.

This feels like a uniquely American advice. I have had pretty heated, but not damaging, discussions with people on the completely different side of the political spectrum here in Norway. I can't remember a single time I have cut someone out for having a different political opinion.

Maybe the loneliness problem is partly connected to the American political system at this point in time?

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#993

Post by fedeb95 »

fumblebee wrote: post #785
fedeb95 wrote: post #779

there isn't a loneliness epidemic. There is a diffuse inability to stay truly alone. Acquiring that ability would also teach how to not stay alone when needed. Otherwise, people wouldn't resort to social media. Going to party aimlessly and hanging out isn't necessarily better. It depends on who you hang out with and what you do. This is just my opinion, of course.

You need both. My sense is that only a minority of people are hardwired to preferably live as hermits. And whilst it's an important life skill to be happy alone, everyone has their breaking point, it's no coincidence that one of the best predictors of longevity is how rich ones social life is.

I'm not talking about being hermits. But if you have one hour alone, you could learn to be happy with your own mind available. Of course most people (not hermits) need social relations.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#994

Post by ArlenBales »

Nurw wrote: post #992
ggfdh wrote: post #912

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The inability of your friends to have non-political conversations can be a big part of isolation. I follow the “no politics, no religion” rule when I go out and it’s served me well. You can have political/religious conversations with people who disagree but often it feels like walking in a mine field.

This feels like a uniquely American advice. I have had pretty heated, but not damaging, discussions with people on the completely different side of the political spectrum here in Norway. I can't remember a single time I have cut someone out for having a different political opinion. Maybe the loneliness problem is partly connected to the American political system at this point in time?

Half this country voted for and supports a vile lunatic president hell bent on destroying the U.S. to enrich his personal wealth and power. It's not surprising that over here we Democrats view Republicans as a cancer we want nothing to do with.

It wasn't always this way. In the past Republicans actually had some decency. That went out the window after they elected Trump twice.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#995

Post by artur_makly »

I'm starting to host bi-weekly after work soirees.

It's simple. Anyone you meet casually and get a nice vibe from - just invite them - you will see their face light up like they won a lottery...cause they did - your lottery.

Tell them that you're hosting a special gathering with interesting people you've recently met ( that way everyone starts from 0 )

bonus points: Make sure that your list is as balanced as possible with as many different types of humans ( age/gender/race/education/talent/interests ) add your weights into any criteria as you see fit, but keep in mind the more the blend the spicier the magic and the more you will grow.

If they want to bring a special friend ( great! but just say one for now ) Lubricate with some light wine/beers/alcoholic beverages (dont worry most will bring their own ) .. add some nice chill-house ambient music .. and let the magic begin.

Become the change you seek, it's intoxicating.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#996

Post by Liphe »

I wouldn't say I've "solved it" because the concept predates how bad things got. I had a life-changing realization on 01/01/01, but it was before the necessary technologies existed. So, I've watched, partially in horror, as Fuckerberg and others transformed the internet culture I helped shape into a candy-coated digital Inferno, a full-blown Dante in disguise.

I'm going to make a post and see what kind of feedback I get. But if all goes well, bro, you'll know it when you see it, and maybe you'll be there helping.

ֆɦɨռօɮɨ Øf Äçìd

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#997

Post by e38383 »

The wording sounds like this is a problem or even something to solve. Why?

But let's start with the basics: - Why are these people not countable? Shoudn't we not at least just be able to get a good statistical number on this? We do the same for all people on (and off) this planet. - Let's assume we have a number: how to we know that they sit and are alone and every day? This sounds to me like an overspecific approach. - Why would anyone join local groups? You normally can't find people you want to interact with within a specific range, that's the great thing about social media or the internet overall: you don't need to be in a geographic range.

And the last one: what are you trying to solve here?

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#998

Post by jvm___ »

zuzuleinen wrote: post #983
jvm___ wrote: post #567

Ritual, purpose and community are what's required to build a group. I cured my own loneliness episode by joining a local running group. It provides the same kind of thing as church. Ritual, we meet every week and there's a few different groups. Purpose, it doesn't feel useless to be improving your fitness level. And community comes when you suffer through a run with others. Showing up regularly means you start to int…

Do you run at the same pace? I'm just curious how can conversations between multiple people running are going on

Mostly yes, the group stays together. We run road or trail not track. No one is really serious about pace and time, or if you are you treat group runs as social time and do your own thing later.

One group just meets at the start, people go off and do their own thing and then come back to the start for coffee at a cafe. That way everyone from walkers to people doing a long run can all hang out afterwards but not actually run together.

The best are trail runs with 8-10 people, you end up walking the hills and take a short break every 5-10 minutes so you can chat with almost everyone over the hour you're out there.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#999

Post by kbelder »

Llamamoe wrote: post #640
neilk wrote: post #438

You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…

Personal solutions to systemic problems are not solutions. Yours is great advice for the few people able to take it to heart, find the motivation, and succeed, but you cannot solve societal problems at any kind of scale this way.

>Personal solutions to systemic problems are not solutions.

That idea is a social problem. I hope a sufficient number of individuals reject that reasoning.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#1000

Post by 305superuser »

You must go outside your traditional groups(family, friends, colleges) find several activities that you like or you had always wanted to do, meetups etc, stay on them for a while, that's how friendship happens, the key is a new group of something you enjoy, keep doing it, guaranteed will work
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