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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#591

Post by snozolli »

alecco wrote: post #407
dontwannahearit wrote: post #296

Not for everyone but if you can, get a dog. Dogs are icebreakers. People like to meet a cute dog. They won't know your name at first but you will be "Fido's Dad" or "Dave's Mom". Other dog owners will greet you and so long as your dogs don't hate each other you already have something in common. A dog gives you a reason to be wherever you want to be - take a walk around the neighborhood or to the park. You're not a ra…

But that's like befriending others through the kids. Those usually are very shallow relationships. If they suddenly stop seeing you they wouldn't even check if you are OK or what happened. I guess it's better than nothing but that's not for me.

You seem extremely judgemental and narrow in your view of the world. This is probably why you have difficulty forming deep friendships without the social proof of family.

As a counter example, I've made some of the best friends of my life through walking my dog at the local dog park over the last decade. Seeing how people are dedicated to and treat their dogs gives me a great insight into their personalities.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#592

Post by snozolli »

Third places. Become a regular at game night, church (if you're into that), join a bowling league, join organized dinners through meetup.com or whatever the modern version is, take up martial arts, take adult education classes outside your existing interests. There are more options out there than ever before.

Read "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feinman" and really absorb the part where he explains how he had so many crazy adventures and encounters.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#593

Post by good8675309 »

sam345 wrote: post #569

It seems you can't ignore a lot of this is a product of fewer children, temporary and transitional relationships that are not governed by the boundaries of marriage, and fewer intact families. This leads to fewer siblings, fewer responsibilities toward others, and more opportunities to be and feel isolated. There is a reason why the concept of a family protected by certain legal responsibilities and obligations have…

I grew up in the 90s chronically online, isolated, abused, and socially awkward. Then I started working out, losing weight, trying to get better socially, then left atheism and became a Christian at 17, quit drugs and porn, met my wife, we now have 4 kids, love our church, and I can’t even imagine what loneliness feels like now. With 4 kids and a future with grandkids, pile in all our friends from church, hard to imagine a future where I’ll ever feel that emptiness and loneliness again. There’s a lot of hard work and pain I didn’t mention but it’s all been worth it

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#594

Post by stevage »

SchemaLoad wrote: post #448
neilk wrote: post #438

You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…

I've been trying to do this. One thing I've observed is trying to arrange people to play board games is quite difficult because you can't predict how many people will show up. People get sick, misread the times, etc. And a lot of games are very sensitive to player count, so having 2 people too few or too many has the ability to make the game somewhat unplayable or risk people sitting out watching. Easier to just host…

I host a lot of board game days and...yes.

One thing I do that helps is get people to RSVP with a specific arrival time, and do my best to have a game about to start around that time.

If you show up unexpectedly, then I'm not going to feel bad about you sitting out for an hour or more.

People unexpectedly bringing a partner/friend who is not really that into board games is the absolute worst thoguh.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#597

Post by dude741 »

I'm not lonely, but occasionally wish I had some meaningful friendships. Most people who want to be my "friend" just want something from me -- a job, help them move, buy their dumb products, watch their kids, drive them to the airport, whatever else they want to dump on me.

I get that comes with friendships, but people go from zero to super favors in 2.1 seconds these days. Seems too burdensome, so I typically tell people to F off -- easier that way.

My wife will drag me to some social events. I have a hard time relating to any of the guys. The ones I meet are all obsessed with sports and entertainment. Did you watch the game? No, oh...well; did you go skiing last week? No, Oh...I gotta go.

I like a good football game, but the world is burning; I can't pretend it isn't. I'd like to help but don't know how. I just work on building my business to have enough resources to possibly make a slight difference; maybe I'll die without actually doing so, and it would have been better to just distract myself until I die, but my brain doesn't work that way.

Social media is just one big psyops. I liked X until major players started taking over and now it seems like Claude owns X as everyone just posts how Claude Code just vibe coding them 4,000 bitcoins in 24 hours. Quit all social media because it's just distorted.

To be honest, gave up on being friends with anyone about 10 years ago.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#598

Post by hackable_sand »

oraphalous wrote: post #583
sam345 wrote: post #569

It seems you can't ignore a lot of this is a product of fewer children, temporary and transitional relationships that are not governed by the boundaries of marriage, and fewer intact families. This leads to fewer siblings, fewer responsibilities toward others, and more opportunities to be and feel isolated. There is a reason why the concept of a family protected by certain legal responsibilities and obligations have…

Maybe a societal foundation of: magic man in the sky - wasn't so great a foundation after all?

Is this a fortnite reference?

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#599

Post by rramadass »

152334H wrote: post #549

From my perspective, the issue is quite simple: progress optimizes everything other than the cost of human labor. Socialization, as defined today, inherently requires human labor, and thus falls under the Baumol effect. The 'loneliness epidemic' is merely the result of weakening demand, owing to a slew of low-cost alternatives. Thus, we end up with two options, 1. automate the social experience 2. accept that the com…

Well said; and i think you are right.

How did you come to develop this sort of perspective? What did you read/study that led you to this pov?

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