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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#441

Post by Centigonal »

6r17 wrote: post #435

I'm wondering if there are any research groups led by sociologist that explore this topic which may be helped by a group of volunteer ? I've always wondered why applications like Tinder etc... have not been completely destroyed by open-source already ? We also forget that communities are essentially what allowed this escape in the first place ; I remember going to psytrance festivals but there are so many more escape…

> I've always wondered why applications like Tinder etc... have not been completely destroyed by open-source already ?

Same reason why Signal hasn't mogged WhatsApp, Telegram, Messenger, etc. Social apps have enormous network effects, and companies with large marketing budgets and early movers have big advantages when it comes to establishing a community.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#442

Post by encrypted_bird »

munificent wrote: post #128
asdfman123 wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the trick is getting off social media. When I was a computer nerd in the 2000s, I noticed people used to like to hang around and chat, but I mostly didn't. Now, everyone is an internet addict, and I was just ahead of the curve. No one hangs around and chats anymore. When you get off social media, real life becomes far more interesting. The problem with addiction is that it's so stimulating that everything els…

I agree but if your goal is to socialize more, it's not enough to get off social media. You need to be in a place where enough other people do too. Think of a city as both a spatial and a temporal grouping of people that are in the same place at the same time. Every hour a person spends at home on social media is an hour that they aren't really in the city and are not available for you to socialize with. The cumulati…

A big problem for me personally is that, well, frankly, there really aren't many options around me. I live in a small farming town of 6000 people, and most things are 25-45 min away *by car*.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#443

Post by yesitcan »

mdberkey wrote: post #320

Something I've noticed with me and other gen-Zers is that meeting with friends or strangers over Discord VoIP is a great way to socialize. It's missing some of the social benefits of in-person meetups, but it's very low-commitment (just hope on a call) and it's much easier to find others who share your interests.

So your solution to loneliness is “use voice chat”?

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#445

Post by hireshbrem »

j2kun wrote: post #431

Make a social app whose goal is to get people off their phone as quickly as possible. There used to be a slew of apps where you a press a button to indicate "I'm bored/free, who wants to hang out?" and then you get matched with your contact list and anyone else who pressed the button at the same time. But for whatever reason they all flamed out and died.

one issue is that if you leave it to the free market, you will just get more issues. for monopolies, it's more profitable to keep someone unhealthy (and depressed) than it is to make someone healthy once forever.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#446

Post by OkayPhysicist »

CrimsonCape wrote: post #361
LorenPechtel wrote: post #284

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do believe high standards are behind a lot of the dating issues. Dating pools are so large that people hold out for the right combination of the things they find desirable--except they're never going to find that because they don't have exactly the right combination to attract that "perfect" match.

I can't help but think that in 1910, both the concept of "fear of rejection" and "high standards" would have made no sense to people at the time. Yet I would agree that they are valid concepts today. We have to explore why these two concepts exist and why they did not exist in 1910. It seems valid to call them side effects of something bigger, what the bigger is I don't know. I don't see how society can address these…

I'm not sure why you believe that "high standards" and "fear of rejection" didn't exist a hundred years ago. Think Gatsby, from the Great Gatsby (published 1925): dude longed for human connection (hence throwing massive parties), but was terrified of being outed as not belonging to the social strata he found himself in. That's fear of rejection. People being to good for others is basis of the class system, and that predates written history.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#447

Post by lifeisstillgood »

syntaxing wrote: post #415

Are you talking about the US? If so, I heard this proposed on a podcast “Grey Area”. Mandatory two year draft for all, regardless of gender. It sounds crazy at first but it kind makes sense the more you think about it.

I also have long thought this. Probably not for military service but some form of community service,

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#448

Post by SchemaLoad »

neilk wrote: post #438

You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…

I've been trying to do this. One thing I've observed is trying to arrange people to play board games is quite difficult because you can't predict how many people will show up. People get sick, misread the times, etc. And a lot of games are very sensitive to player count, so having 2 people too few or too many has the ability to make the game somewhat unplayable or risk people sitting out watching.

Easier to just host a party or meetup where you can over invite and if some people don't show up it's no issue.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#449

Post by Barrin92 »

fbn79 wrote: post #371
ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

Join a religious organization to fight loneliness is like start smoking to loose weight.

it also doesn't even fight loneliness. Loneliness isn't solved by merely not being physically alone. I grew up in a Catholic environment but because I bought exactly none of it the religious environments were exactly where I felt most isolated.

You're not solving loneliness by joining a cult or a gang. You can only deal with it by making authentic connections to people you actually want to be with. Countless of people are lonely and miserable within families.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#450

Post by abalashov »

hombre_fatal wrote: post #286

Spending time in parts of Latin America or western Europe or east Asia and then coming back to the US, you can see a lot of ways in which we've built loneliness into the fabric of US culture. It goes beyond car culture. It's probably illegal to build a cafe within walking distance of your neighborhood or into the first floor of your apartment complex. Americans get an idea of how bad we have it when we go on vacation…

> Americans get an idea of how bad we have it when we go on vacation, but we don't see it as something that can be built at home.

It's so strange how this works. They go, sometimes repeatedly, to enjoy these rather basic things, but behave as though they're visiting a quaint Disneyland of sorts and as though there could be no lessons they could take away and apply toward a vision of their own community...

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