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You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

neilthanedar.com

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Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#321

Post by spongebobstoes »

nubg wrote: post #193
asdff wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My advice would be to keep up with a schedule that still keeps you pretty busy and ideally waking up early at regular hours. Once you hit actual rock bottom burn out, you know sleeping in until noon and scrolling message boards for three hours before you realized you haven't eaten yet all day and the sun is already setting, it feels almost impossible to turn the switch back on when you need to. Even something like fo…

Relating to my other comment under your post, I feel like I am becoming this. I urgently need to stop it and am looking for books on this topics.

I felt similarly before, my take is to gradually add social structure to life. direction can funnel and catalyse energy.

e.g. pottery, crossfit, book club. for me, it was bjj, a world of warcraft group, and a "beer club".

regularly watching and chatting in a small twitch stream could be a start, but beware its parasocial nature

solo activities add structure but social bonds reinforce discipline and motivation. "someone will notice my absence".

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#322

Post by hackboyfly »

I like the overall message of this since I can deeply relate.

I have been looking for meaningful work since I was 18, started in sales went on to marketing and ended up in engineering as a data scientist.

Even though I feel closer than ever I still feel that I am not where I am suppose to be. One of my biggest problem is having to many options, to many callings. And they constantly keep changing, and perhaps that’s normal.

It’s easy and dangerous to get stuck in the idea or quest of finding the ultimate purpose and try to translate that into actual work.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#323

Post by jondwillis »

someothherguyy wrote: post #311
godelski wrote: post #228

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone medicated I actually fully agree with you. Depression is also a broad spectrum condition (much like autism). Years ago I watched this lecture by Sapolsky[0] and it really helped. Breaking down the different classifications is really helpful. The SSRIs always made me feel worse, and this (along with a lot of other research) helped make sense of it. A few years back I was diagnosed with ADHD and a psychologi…

you took amphetamine and weren't depressed suddenly? in my experience, that lasts a bit, but give it another decade or so. it tends to bite in other ways.

What ways?

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#324

Post by GMoromisato »

johnnyanmac wrote: post #310
GMoromisato wrote: post #298

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you believe that there is no action that could improve your situation, then you're right. You're stuck. Best just learn to accept what you've got. But that is almost certainly not true. You are playing a high-dimensional game with a few hundred degrees of freedom and imperfect information. You already know how to play this game: make a move, see the result, adjust your strategy and make another move. Of course, it…

Me. Personally, no. I'm not out of moves. I'm making moves but I do have much less options than a few years prior. I'll make it through one way or another But that's just me, as a late millennial that had some professional experience before the rug was pulled from under me. I have value to show to the few companies looking for actual labor. People a few years younger than me are absolutely thrown on a chess board wit…

I get that.

My bias is that talking about how unfair it is for Gen Z (or whomever) is the worst kind of advice because they can't do anything about it. It's not their fault.

I think advice that gives people hope (that things get better) and agency (that they can make moves on the game board) are more likely to improve the situation.

But that's just my opinion.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#325

Post by GMoromisato »

carlosjobim wrote: post #282
GMoromisato wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey there, early Gen X here. We lived with the existential dread of nuclear war (The Day After traumatized a whole generation), our parents left us on our own with just 3 channels of TV for company because they both had to work, and our sexual awakening turned into a horror movie because of fear of AIDS (a death sentence at the time). Also, there were no jobs.

There is some difference between real struggles, and uncomfortable fear for things which didn't happen. Were you unable to afford a home because of fear of nuclear war? Or for fear of AIDS?

I was unable to afford a home because of fear of bouncing checks. I lived in an apartment with 3 other roommates.

And we all knew people who had died of AIDS, and I wasn't even in an at-risk community. Gay men I knew felt that they had gone through an apocalypse, like they were the survivors of a secret war that no one talked about.

Home ownership when I was growing up was around 50%. Not owning a home was extremely normal, not a sign of deprivation.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#326

Post by oatmeal1 »

anyfoo wrote: post #217
marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

I don’t know. Doctors nowadays (especially in the US, it seems to be less prevalent elsewhere) seem very quick at prescribing medication. And while I don’t doubt that there are serious physiological conditions that warrant, even necessitate, medicating, my impression is that the first response to “depression” in general shouldn’t be medication. I’ve been depressed in the past, in my 20s even severely. Clinically, you…

As someone with treatment resistant depression, it is odd people are against medication. Medication is proven safe and effective for treating depression. Therapy and medication should be used immediately in conjunction because 1. therapy is most effective when paired with medication, and 2. depression is a vicious cycle. The longer someone spends depressed, the more likely they will spiral into deeper depression, isolation, unemployment, etc.

No one should delay any part of depression treatment.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#327

Post by johnnyanmac »

GMoromisato wrote: post #324
johnnyanmac wrote: post #310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Me. Personally, no. I'm not out of moves. I'm making moves but I do have much less options than a few years prior. I'll make it through one way or another But that's just me, as a late millennial that had some professional experience before the rug was pulled from under me. I have value to show to the few companies looking for actual labor. People a few years younger than me are absolutely thrown on a chess board wit…

I get that. My bias is that talking about how unfair it is for Gen Z (or whomever) is the worst kind of advice because they can't do anything about it. It's not their fault. I think advice that gives people hope (that things get better) and agency (that they can make moves on the game board) are more likely to improve the situation. But that's just my opinion.

>My bias is that talking about how unfair it is for Gen Z (or whomever) is the worst kind of advice because they can't do anything about it. It's not their fault.

But that mentality is part of the issue. "they" can't do much about it. "we" as a collective can. have our representatives at the very least penalize ghost job postings and that's already a big step. And then from there we could make disincentives for outsourcing and reel in the abuse of the H1-B program. You'd be surprised how quickly things can change when politicians have a fire under their butts to do something.

But all that first requires awareness, and then empathy. Something that some of this community clearly lacks.

>I think advice that gives people hope (that things get better) and agency (that they can make moves on the game board) are more likely to improve the situation.

I feel issue #2 is that there is such thing as "toxic positivity". Giving hope instead of recognizing that things are bad only enrages those who feel bad. People don't like having their lived experienced invalidated, especially by those who haven't lived it themselves.

Advice needs to be tailored as such too. Saying "just keep interviewing" is technically realistic advice, but not one that gives much agency if the issue of burn out is applying for jobs.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#328

Post by shkkmo »

Retric wrote: post #223
anyfoo wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t know. Doctors nowadays (especially in the US, it seems to be less prevalent elsewhere) seem very quick at prescribing medication. And while I don’t doubt that there are serious physiological conditions that warrant, even necessitate, medicating, my impression is that the first response to “depression” in general shouldn’t be medication. I’ve been depressed in the past, in my 20s even severely. Clinically, you…

There’s little reason to avoid prescribing medication alongside other approaches. It’s not that meds are the only option or they should be reserved for the most severe cases, it’s people’s reactions are different and there’s no way to tell without trying them. For some people they really do work wonders and you simply don’t know ahead of time. Not everyone has a support structure they can count on as they fall apart.…

> There’s little reason to avoid prescribing medication alongside other approaches.

There absolutely are downsides and risks. There is a reason the SSRIs carry a "blackbox" warning for youths due to increased suicide risks. There's a reason they should only be used under supervision of a doctor and need to be tapered off of.

That is not to say they aren't useful and necessary for some/many people but they aren't and shouldn't be a catch-all treatment.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#329

Post by godelski »

someothherguyy wrote: post #311
godelski wrote: post #228

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone medicated I actually fully agree with you. Depression is also a broad spectrum condition (much like autism). Years ago I watched this lecture by Sapolsky[0] and it really helped. Breaking down the different classifications is really helpful. The SSRIs always made me feel worse, and this (along with a lot of other research) helped make sense of it. A few years back I was diagnosed with ADHD and a psychologi…

you took amphetamine and weren't depressed suddenly? in my experience, that lasts a bit, but give it another decade or so. it tends to bite in other ways.

Going to depend on your dosages. I try to stay low and will take breaks to help reduce dependency. I actually really dislike the feeling of a high dosage and it does have negative effects at that end.

Also remember that everyone reacts differently to things. SSRIs work great for some people, but not for me. So it's worth trying different classes of medicines too but also to make sure that when having more dangerous ones. I made sure close friends knew too

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#330

Post by rTX5CMRXIfFG »

nradov wrote: post #238
marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

Be unkind to yourselves, people. I find the best way to prevent depression and burn-out is to be brutally, ruthlessly frank with myself. There's nothing positive in accepting weakness and failure. I always feel better when I hold myself to the highest standards and don't make excuses. Of course, I don't always manage to fully do that but it's something to aspire to.

What's the analog of rhabdomyolysis for the mind? You're on a path to get it, bud. Not a personal attack, just my and a whole bunch of other people's experiences.
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