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You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

neilthanedar.com

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Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#221

Post by spencerflem »

SkyeCA wrote: post #135
parpfish wrote: post #50

One thing that I always try to bring up in these discussions is that “burnout” and “overwork” are two different problems, and I think this author would agree with me. If your problem could be fixed with a raise or a nice vacation, that’s overwork. 996 schedules, crunch time, and a high cost of living make overwork. Burnout is when you stat asking yourself “what’s the point of doing any of this?” and your life is over…

> Burnout is when you stat asking yourself “what’s the point of doing any of this?” and your life is overwhelmed with apathy and anhedonia I know I'm burnt out (increasingly severe burnout at that) and I ask myself that question daily. The truth is there is no point and I can't motivate myself anymore. I don't see any solution to the problem and I expect I will lose my job sooner or later at which point I'm not sure…

No answers here, but I feel you. Looking to switch careers to teaching, I hope that will help. Ill lyk

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#222

Post by habinero »

anyfoo wrote: post #217
marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

I don’t know. Doctors nowadays (especially in the US, it seems to be less prevalent elsewhere) seem very quick at prescribing medication. And while I don’t doubt that there are serious physiological conditions that warrant, even necessitate, medicating, my impression is that the first response to “depression” in general shouldn’t be medication. I’ve been depressed in the past, in my 20s even severely. Clinically, you…

Mm. I'm glad for you that you can just think about your problems harder and get better, but that's not the reality of it for most people with depression.

Meds don't magically make you happy and they don't magically get you out of fixing the problems in your life. They make it easier and therefore possible to do so. I'd describe it as the crane that lifts up the heavy weight enough for you to shuffle out.

If you can just think harder about your problems, by all means, do that. But there's zero virtue to rawdogging it when help is available, especially as this can easily lead to an isolation spiral and become deadly.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#223

Post by Retric »

anyfoo wrote: post #217
marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

I don’t know. Doctors nowadays (especially in the US, it seems to be less prevalent elsewhere) seem very quick at prescribing medication. And while I don’t doubt that there are serious physiological conditions that warrant, even necessitate, medicating, my impression is that the first response to “depression” in general shouldn’t be medication. I’ve been depressed in the past, in my 20s even severely. Clinically, you…

There’s little reason to avoid prescribing medication alongside other approaches. It’s not that meds are the only option or they should be reserved for the most severe cases, it’s people’s reactions are different and there’s no way to tell without trying them. For some people they really do work wonders and you simply don’t know ahead of time.

Not everyone has a support structure they can count on as they fall apart. So some people just need help to get through a rough period even if a solution isn’t long term viable. When a spouse dies being able to function for the next few months can mean keeping the roof over someone’s head.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#224

Post by xivzgrev »

unstyledcontent wrote: post #14

I'm burned out because I have to raise two young children, work a full time job in a demanding career, and then in the hour or two a day of time that isn't accounted for in those two tasks, I need to maintain a household and try to care for myself. I feel a strong sense of purpose caring for my family, but don't have enough time to meet life's demands. Maybe other people relate more to this post because they more mon…

I relate so much to this comment. We love our kids but it's hard to balance various demands.

Often times ourselves get the short end, but others find a way to give each their due including themselves

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#225

Post by marcus_holmes »

anyfoo wrote: post #217
marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

I don’t know. Doctors nowadays (especially in the US, it seems to be less prevalent elsewhere) seem very quick at prescribing medication. And while I don’t doubt that there are serious physiological conditions that warrant, even necessitate, medicating, my impression is that the first response to “depression” in general shouldn’t be medication. I’ve been depressed in the past, in my 20s even severely. Clinically, you…

Agree that medication isn't necessarily the answer - mine was therapy not pills. But all of it is still medical assistance. And the medication helped me get started on the therapy, I'm not sure I could have got to a place where the therapy could have helped without it.

Glad your journey has been positive, well done :)

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#226

Post by marcus_holmes »

thanedar wrote: post #215
marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

For sure! I've written a lot about depression too! But I do think a lot of what people otherwise blame on burnout or depression is really this existential hunger to make more positive impact. Finding that highest purpose can change lives!

My depression was due to childhood trauma. No amount of purpose would have changed that. I had to deal with my demons before I could move into the kind of positive space where purpose made any kind of difference.

edit: but yes, now that I have done that work, purpose is good, and what keeps me positive and away from the black dog.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#227

Post by wat10000 »

asdff wrote: post #208
wat10000 wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This presumes I'm thankful for being in this world they gave us, which is not a given.

Be thankful you have the intelligence to even have such thoughts at all.

I don’t know, less intelligent people often seem happier.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#228

Post by godelski »

anyfoo wrote: post #217
marcus_holmes wrote: post #209

Please note that depression != burn-out. If you really can't get out of bed on a Monday morning, can't face the day, or muster any enthusiasm for anything, then you might not need a purpose, you might need medical assistance. Be kind to yourselves, people.

I don’t know. Doctors nowadays (especially in the US, it seems to be less prevalent elsewhere) seem very quick at prescribing medication. And while I don’t doubt that there are serious physiological conditions that warrant, even necessitate, medicating, my impression is that the first response to “depression” in general shouldn’t be medication. I’ve been depressed in the past, in my 20s even severely. Clinically, you…

As someone medicated I actually fully agree with you.

Depression is also a broad spectrum condition (much like autism). Years ago I watched this lecture by Sapolsky[0] and it really helped. Breaking down the different classifications is really helpful. The SSRIs always made me feel worse, and this (along with a lot of other research) helped make sense of it. A few years back I was diagnosed with ADHD and a psychologist friend encouraged me to give Adderall a try. It was the first time that medication "worked" and it really made a big difference in my life. The big reason why being that psychomotor retardation and anhedonia were my biggest symptoms. When coupled with an anxiety disorder it creates a strong negative feedback loop.

But here's the thing: medication isn't the cure. For me it alleviates (not eliminates) symptoms but at the end of the day it still requires work from me to ensure I create a positive feedback loop and don't let myself fall into that destructive loop. This is all stuff I had to learn on my own and through reading and seeking out friends with people who are more experts in the area. That's where I think our care system fails.

The best thing I can recommend to people is to be introspective. Each journey is personal, but whatever your issues are try to find the early warning signs. For me it can be little things like the dishes piling up or my desk getting messy (these seem you be common). Things like depression build up, so look for the signs. And most importantly, open up. This was the hardest for me and makes me feel demasculated and embarrassed much of the time. But I've also found it to help build stronger relationships with my partner and friends. That it helps open a door to communicate both ways. Maybe you open the door for you, but you also open a door many are too nervous to open themselves. It's worth the discomfort and gets easier with time. (Talking behind a handle is a great way to start too. So make alt accounts if you need to. That's how I started)

[0] http://www.robertsapolskyrocks.com/depression.html

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#229

Post by hackable_sand »

thanedar wrote: post #181
kgwxd wrote: post #84

> It feels like you’re stuck in the ordinary when all you want to do is chase greatness. Gave up on greatness a long time ago, I'd settle for an "ordinary", where people just kind of try to NOT make bad things worse, or good things less enjoyable.

Your greatness is still all here! And it can be earned precisely by fighting to fix bad things. I found that working in politics, against corruption and for Positive Politics, is how I make the most positive impact and gain the most energy!

I hope for your sake there is someone out there to stop you.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#230

Post by aster0id »

thanedar wrote: post #120
QGQBGdeZREunxLe wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was hooked by the first few paragraphs but the immediate switch to focus on work was disappointing. The happiest people I know treat work like the necessary evil to be endured to fulfill all other facets of life.

What were you looking to read about in that spot? Work shouldn't be treated as a "necessary evil". Reconciling the work vs. meaning split is hugely important. Even if it means making less money short term, aligning work and purpose through work like politics and writing can make us way happier long-term.

Yeah but work isn't all there is to life, at least for me. There are way more fulfilling things. If you like your work more than anything else in life, good for you. Different strokes for different folks.
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