I like the storytelling, but the sentences without caps are pretty hard for me to parse. The constant search for the beginning of the next sentence destroys the emotional experience for me; I just can't dive into the text and feel "submerged".
Here's another piece of writing, from a very different author, with lots of capitals. Maybe you like it more? https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/42889/hope-is-the-thi...
Poetry works in a different way, though. The lines are short and your eyes won't struggle much with continuity. e.e.cummings eschewed capitalizations as well and his poetry is still easily readable (to me at least).
A larger block of text is harder to parse without capitalizations. This is actually why they developed in the first place. Original Roman writing was very "blocky" and thus much harder to read, see for example this:
https://share.google/EyVZfHb9NgIbtXlAl
It is a short text, but parsing it into individual words is quite a challenge.