There's a follow-up posted already too.
After my dad died, we found the love letters
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Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#12> “He wasted his entire life, my mom said to me, the evening we found the love letters. His entire life, and mine as well.” What a burden of expectations to lay on both yourself & your own family. I’m glad the author was able to put those aside & live her own life more authentically than her father did.
The author may be unduly harsh on her father. He got to be publicly married and have a private gay life. He didn't have to live with his wife much. He liked the idea of having a daughter.
Given the hand he was dealt it's a pretty good outcome for himself. Grossly selfish, but not a waste for himself.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#13This is a sad story but I don’t like that the onus is entirely on the father to have ended things and lived his best life. He also was under pressure. He also had a family and was trying to juggle things the best way he knew how. It is tragic to live this way but I cannot consider him a villain of any sort.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#14Even though many of us might not relate exactly to the circumstances, we can relate to the feelings. She’s an excellent writer. Some of her other essays are good.
Many years ago, I read The Bridges of Madison County. This reminds me a bit of that.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#15A very adept writer.
Agreed. I just hope they repair their Shift keys soon.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#16I like the storytelling, but the sentences without caps are pretty hard for me to parse. The constant search for the beginning of the next sentence destroys the emotional experience for me; I just can't dive into the text and feel "submerged".
Agreed. I normally find the complaints about formatting to be petty, but for a long form writing piece like this, all lowercase is just a bad choice with no discernable upside.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#17I barely comment but this is time it is worthwhile - please read the article first, it is worth it and the comments might spoil it.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#18when my mom died i found a bunch of letters she wrote to people but never sent. Theres so much to peoples lives that you can never fully know and some of the things really shocked me. Appreciate you sharing your story, many parallels that I can appreciate through reading.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#19> “He wasted his entire life, my mom said to me, the evening we found the love letters. His entire life, and mine as well.” What a burden of expectations to lay on both yourself & your own family. I’m glad the author was able to put those aside & live her own life more authentically than her father did.
The author may be unduly harsh on her father. He got to be publicly married and have a private gay life. He didn't have to live with his wife much. He liked the idea of having a daughter. Given the hand he was dealt it's a pretty good outcome for himself. Grossly selfish, but not a waste for himself.
Some don’t fully understand that the universe does not owe you any camaraderie in your affairs. Not even a small mouse to talk to. Many live the same paths we live entirely alone. While life took from her a real romance, it did not take from her partnership. Friends along your travels is not guaranteed, neither are best friends, or the bestest of best friends. Make do, seriously.
Re: After my dad died, we found the love letters
#20Interesting follow up post, published the same day: https://www.jenn.site/my-dead-deadbeat-gay-dad/