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Basic Social Skills Guide

improveyoursocialskills.com

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Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#161

Post by apexalpha »

zwnow wrote: post #15
strken wrote: post #5

On the topic of "support your friends", if there's a funeral for someone you weren't super close with but your friend knew well and you're not sure whether to go, I would recommend just going, sitting up the back, offering your condolences if the opportunity comes up, and leaving. I've failed to do this twice. Nobody else said or did anything, but I regretted it.

It's also ok not to attend funerals at all, even if you were close. I broke down every funeral I went to and would rather avoid that in the future.

I fundamentally disagree with this, and especially people who need the website should not follow your advice.

Sometimes in life you just have to do stuff, even if you hate it.

These things also have a tendency to become easier the more you do it, so advising people to just not do it seems horrible advice.

Not showing up to a funeral of someone you were close to just because of your own discomfort is plain weird.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#162

Post by easywood »

zwnow wrote: post #15
strken wrote: post #5

On the topic of "support your friends", if there's a funeral for someone you weren't super close with but your friend knew well and you're not sure whether to go, I would recommend just going, sitting up the back, offering your condolences if the opportunity comes up, and leaving. I've failed to do this twice. Nobody else said or did anything, but I regretted it.

It's also ok not to attend funerals at all, even if you were close. I broke down every funeral I went to and would rather avoid that in the future.

Let me tell you, it is absolutely not ok. The family does notice who is and isn't at the funeral and they WILL assume you are just not emotionally involved. I have seen this scenario play out. Don't be surprised if people stop showing up at something you organize. Breaking down at a funeral is absolutely ok and will strengthen the bond with those left behind.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#163

Post by apexalpha »

brulard wrote: post #119
GiorgioG wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is not ok. Be an adult and deal with the emotional discomfort to pay your last respects.

This is the worst advice someone could give. It absolutely is ok to decide on your own if it's good for you and the others if you attend or not. I wouldn't want anyone to come to my funeral just because others expect him to.

If I was close to someone and they skipped my funeral for no other reason than their own mild discomfort I would seriously question how close we were after all.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#164

Post by apexalpha »

sokoloff wrote: post #118
GiorgioG wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is not ok. Be an adult and deal with the emotional discomfort to pay your last respects.

It’s absolutely okay to prioritize the needs and comfort of the living. The guest of honor won’t notice, I promise. If the other (living) attendees have a problem with it, it’s at least 51% a them problem, IMO.

A funeral is not done for the deceased. A funeral is for the people who are still there.

These people, the real guests of honour, will remember your absence for the rest of their lives.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#165

Post by netsharc »

weinzierl wrote: post #43
TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

If only someone could create an app or website to help us uninformed out with common phrases to use. Sentences like: "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

Let's use blockcha... I mean, AI!

Huh, an AI that reads the latest news and suggest conversation topics would be funny, if conversing with someone interested in celebrity gossip, then it could delve into that topic, e.g. "What about astronaut Katy Perry, am I right?! Did you read that she was spotted having a meal with Justin Trudeau?".

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#166

Post by snapcaster »

sokoloff wrote: post #118
GiorgioG wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is not ok. Be an adult and deal with the emotional discomfort to pay your last respects.

It’s absolutely okay to prioritize the needs and comfort of the living. The guest of honor won’t notice, I promise. If the other (living) attendees have a problem with it, it’s at least 51% a them problem, IMO.

This is such an anti social take. How dense to you have to be to not realize attendance is for the benefit of the living. The dead person is not the guest of honor it's the family of the deceased if there is any "guest of honor" at all

Not attending rightfully costs you a lot, even if you're lacking the social skills to perceive it

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#168

Post by pmg101 »

TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

The problem is that I find the conversations that flow from these openers incredibly dull. So I just stay at home and read my phone instead, however unfortunately I hear that that is correlated with various negative outcomes.

"Hi, I have no interest in you or these topics but let's converse to extend my lifespan." Beer can help with this.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#169

Post by netsharc »

brulard wrote: post #123
ryandv wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Your comment is the only one hateful here. Where I'm from there are absolutely different topics to talk to men and women. You may hate it as much as you like, but that's the world many of us live in.

He's very probably mocking "the woke" by exaggerating how they criticize people...

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#170

Post by zwnow »

easywood wrote: post #162
zwnow wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also ok not to attend funerals at all, even if you were close. I broke down every funeral I went to and would rather avoid that in the future.

Let me tell you, it is absolutely not ok. The family does notice who is and isn't at the funeral and they WILL assume you are just not emotionally involved. I have seen this scenario play out. Don't be surprised if people stop showing up at something you organize. Breaking down at a funeral is absolutely ok and will strengthen the bond with those left behind.

I made the complete opposite experience thankfully. I am very open about this and my friends understand. I dont care about their families, I care about the person in the casket.
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