Mask every day. Life goal: Be 100% artificial person. All openings and responses must be calculated and faked. Your inner self is faulty and not appropriate at any situation. Once you train and work hard enough to suppress it at all times forever, you may be accepted and allowed to participate.
Basic Social Skills Guide
31–40 of 283 posts
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#32Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I asked him if he'd setup any meetings with the team to get context and, you know, say hello and his response was "why should I do that, can't they read my PRs?". Classic. That would have been my reply, too.
Ditto. The contributions are saying 'hello' and soliciting input, in one. Also providing the contributor with an opportunity to learn the product in their terms . I know, I know. The horror of an individual for us all. I assume the proposition is this: one has no chance to produce value without firm guidance from the onset. Or the time learning is a tragedy. I doubt both of these very much. PRs are another conversati…
I assume the proposition is that trust between coworkers is important (even if you're autistic) and the best way to build extra trust with someone, on top of what you'd normally build just working with them, is to interact with them socially (unless they're autistic and haven't memorised this pattern, in such case they'll just be confused and annoyed).
I think your assumption that this is about "firm guidance" and "optics" and is an insult to your "superpowers" is unlikely to be the motivation.
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#33A lot of "social skills" content drifts into pickup-artist-y territory, so it's refreshing when something frames it around comfort, support, and actual connection instead of just "winning" interactions
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#34This is a very American society focused guide, a lot of these wouldn't even apply in Europe an especially not if you travel to Asia, Middle East, or Africa
Interestingly enough, not nearly as much gets published for e.g. Europe. Innate ability ?
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#35Mask every day. Life goal: Be 100% artificial person. All openings and responses must be calculated and faked. Your inner self is faulty and not appropriate at any situation. Once you train and work hard enough to suppress it at all times forever, you may be accepted and allowed to participate.
You are what you are because of circumstances.
Which is fun and great if you came out as a happy cool human.
If you made it through the weird unadjusted side without any gimmick you just loose.
No one has to force you to stay what your surroundings made you. It's not your personality it's just a reflection and you can change it and make it better for you by adjusting and reflecting.
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#36Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ditto. The contributions are saying 'hello' and soliciting input, in one. Also providing the contributor with an opportunity to learn the product in their terms . I know, I know. The horror of an individual for us all. I assume the proposition is this: one has no chance to produce value without firm guidance from the onset. Or the time learning is a tragedy. I doubt both of these very much. PRs are another conversati…
I assume the proposition is that trust between coworkers is important (even if you're autistic) and the best way to build extra trust with someone, on top of what you'd normally build just working with them, is to interact with them socially (unless they're autistic and haven't memorised this pattern, in such case they'll just be confused and annoyed). I think your assumption that this is about "firm guidance" and "o…
"How can we have any pudding if we don't eat our meat?!"
Let's worry about extra trust once they start earning trust (and, arguably, their pay) by reviewing the PRs. Leaving those floating deserves none, from nobody.
To reiterate the original post, behaving as if they're a member of the team would be quite welcome, actually. Fun, no: work.
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#37On the topic of "support your friends", if there's a funeral for someone you weren't super close with but your friend knew well and you're not sure whether to go, I would recommend just going, sitting up the back, offering your condolences if the opportunity comes up, and leaving. I've failed to do this twice. Nobody else said or did anything, but I regretted it.
In those moments it's rarely about you having the "right" words
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#38Being able to communicate despite differences in status.
Don't try to qualify people.
Do not let others feel contempt.
Don't speak any words outside what someone would commonly be able to accept.
Suppression of ego so others are not uncomfortable. Knowing when to not suppress it if others think you are fake.
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#39This is a very American society focused guide, a lot of these wouldn't even apply in Europe an especially not if you travel to Asia, Middle East, or Africa
What wouldn’t apply to Europe?
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#40Ah yes, a very pertinent article for HN!