31–40 of 124 posts
That's because people tend not to make new friends in middle age. That trend begins in the mid 20s.
No matter your age, learn the trick of making, and keeping, new friends. Of all ages, sexes, cultures, types. It is extremely vital to your mental and physical health.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Maybe it's a cultural thing as well. Boasting about yourself is really not something you do in many cultures. I don't really see a problem with that passage. They were just trying to praise whoever they were talking to while being quiet about themselves.
It could be cultural. I'm overthinking it. I did like the piece overall.
> "But eventually, we broke away—you, to join the funny kids, a group of hilarious and friendly people who could match your unparalleled wit and high-octane energy... That is not how people actually talk in real life. > ...and me, to join the kids at the back of the bus, literally and figuratively. People really do not make other people the main character like this. "My crew were shy introverts who were hilarious onc…
Some people do talk like that. For example, the well-read humanities major analogue of "10x techbro" can effortlessly whip out a more sophisticated analysis or assessment, with better prose. And some of those will say things like that with one or more levels on top. Such as if they know the person they're talking with will get the reference or archetype, or the allusion they're making, and they're really saying somet…
Such a person certainly can do so, but also really ought to know better.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Diverging values I think is why it’s not a bad thing that marriage is being postponed closer to 30 now. Promising to be with someone forever when you don’t even know who you or they are yet is wishful thinking at best and lying at worst. If we ever find a way to delay puberty without delaying formation of the prefrontal cortex, I think humanity will be in for a better time. You’ll get a few more years of being able t…
Do people who get married and have children diverge in values at the same rate as unmarried people who live together? Or do they tend to converge rather and align their attitudes to the common interests of the family? "Who you are" is not a stable thing, nor is it a mystery suddenly revealed at a certain advanced age: it is something you continuously construct and reconstruct all your life. I suspect that marriage an…
Others collapse their lives entirely, which can be shocking for the person who saw something in you that you’ve now abandoned.
It's okay to lose touch with former friends (that is, to not feel guilty). This is part of life and I'm always convinced that my friends, whom I lost contact with, will understand as well. Plus, although we were friends at one point due to common interests, shared environment, etc., we grow up and apart. If chances collide, we will cross paths with some of them. During my thirties, I felt a bit guilty about not keepi…
> Matt said a lot of wonderful things about me and our friendship during our conversation, but one thing meant the most. “In my mid 20s, I was really selfish,” he said. “But I’m currently at a point where I don’t really care about things for myself. Now that I’m almost 30, my loved ones and my friendship are all that really matter.” Not to discount anyone else's story, but Matt's is probably the most prevalent. It's…
In the US, I think we should consider that many people go through four socially traumatic transitions: 1. Moving away to college. 2. Moving for work. 3. Getting married. 4. Having kids. Each of those tends to sever many friendships in ways that are more painful than a lot of us realize or acknowledge. We might even consider what it says about us as a people that we seem to value all of the points on that list more th…
6) Rebuilding post divorce.
7) Lack of opportunities due to age.
Life Transitions 4 Lack of mutual effort 4 Diverging values 3 Miscommunication 2.5 Geographic distance 2.5 Emotional disengagement 2 (Since article is lacking a conclusion - or the conclusion is a weird direction, "should I talk to my ex" - I guess I'm not the target demo)
Diverging values I think is why it’s not a bad thing that marriage is being postponed closer to 30 now. Promising to be with someone forever when you don’t even know who you or they are yet is wishful thinking at best and lying at worst. If we ever find a way to delay puberty without delaying formation of the prefrontal cortex, I think humanity will be in for a better time. You’ll get a few more years of being able t…
It’s not perfect, but nothing is. Life happens whether or not you’re paying attention.
So am I. I spent the majority of my early childhood, bouncing around a number of nations.
It has given me the "ability" to drop even very intimate relationships at the drop of a hat. I've heard that this is a characteristic of "military brats."
I will not have talked to someone for a decade, then, when I see them again, I assume that we can just pick up where we left, and they are like "Who the hell are you? No way!".
I've learned to correct for this. It means that I need to make the effort to stay in touch, but I have also learned that some folks aren't interested in reciprocating, so I have learned to let those go.
>Though I’m Kenyan by ethnicity, I grew up abroad, in the US and UK, and I’ve found that my foreign accent and perspective other me, even within my family. I had to read this sentence four times before I even considered that 'other' could be a verb!
> "But eventually, we broke away—you, to join the funny kids, a group of hilarious and friendly people who could match your unparalleled wit and high-octane energy... That is not how people actually talk in real life. > ...and me, to join the kids at the back of the bus, literally and figuratively. People really do not make other people the main character like this. "My crew were shy introverts who were hilarious onc…