Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

derekthompson.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

331–340 of 927 posts

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#331

Post by g-mork »

bachmeier wrote: post #291
crtified wrote: post #178

My anecdotal experience, which illustrates how changing societal norms may be contributing. Around 1960, my grandmother scandalously fell pregnant with my mother in her late teens. The child was adopted out - well, not out - in. To her own grandmother, to be raised as a "younger sister" to her own mother. Around 1980, my mother scandalously fell pregnant with me, in her late teens. Despite family disapproval, the chi…

[flagged]

This is a shocking take. I can personally attest (in my 40s) to the pressure felt from professionals during the foetal abnormality scan, pregnancy especially a first time pregnancy is an incredibly vulnerable and difficult experience where those you're surrounded with in every context have massively outsized influence on your otherwise clueless state.

Our baby had no abnormalities, but the language and presentation of the doctor almost had me ready for violence. It's easy to understand from his perspective - he must dehumanize the thing in many cases he is going to encourage you to abort, and if that is what he recommends, it's a recommendation that would have carried tremendous authority for both parents, who would then have immediately acted upon each other.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#332

Post by cFyrute »

lazyasciiart wrote: post #230
tjwebbnorfolk wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes of course being a mom AND WORKING A FULLTIME JOB sucks because doing anything that effortful and working a job sucks. Drinking beer and playing video games for 10 hours a day AND WORKING A FULLTIME JOB would also suck. From everything I hear, being a mom is pretty awesome and rewarding. But there are only 24 hours in a day and you can't have everything and you have to choose what is most important. Welcome to lif…

> From everything I hear, being a mom is pretty awesome and rewarding. Then you don’t even read magazines , let alone mom forums, or attend playgroup, or basically hear anything.

[flagged]

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#333

Post by andrewmcwatters »

bachmeier wrote: post #291
crtified wrote: post #178

My anecdotal experience, which illustrates how changing societal norms may be contributing. Around 1960, my grandmother scandalously fell pregnant with my mother in her late teens. The child was adopted out - well, not out - in. To her own grandmother, to be raised as a "younger sister" to her own mother. Around 1980, my mother scandalously fell pregnant with me, in her late teens. Despite family disapproval, the chi…

[flagged]

I read a lot of stupid, vapid, ridiculous things frequently posted on Hacker News, and this is not one of them. It's just a human experience.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#334

Post by antonvs »

The idea that it might be important to have another baby boom is essentially a late stage capitalist delusion.

There are over 8 billion people on Earth. Well in excess of its carrying capacity given current technological usage. A smaller population is, in all objective senses, a good thing. Desiring a larger population is a purely greed-based obsession.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#335

Post by abletonlive »

supportengineer wrote: post #141

I have two teenagers and they are wonderful. But the world is NOT the same anymore. In the current moment, I would really think twice before bringing any more kids into this world. I feel sorry for everyone coming of age at this time. The world got very bad very quickly. There's no jobs, no one can afford a house, healthcare, or retirement, and the climate is toast.

Doomerism is an illness where you can't look out your window and see reality

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#336

Post by pishpash »

seatac76 wrote: post #321
socceroos wrote: post #312

I find the repeated comments of how much parenting 'sucks' and how much childbearing 'sucks' to be distasteful. It has been the single most incredible experience I've had (5 times over). I feel like, primarily, the reason why our society isn't having children is because of a growing selfishness and entitlement; which happens to be the very thing that Rome was suffering from when their society was collapsing too. No,…

Here in the US. I think for the young population there is a genuine affordability crisis, coupled with health insurance being so expensive it is a genuine blocker for a lot of people.

It's Malthusian scarcity, expressed through market-clearing prices. It's like some alpha baboon hordes all the food so nobody else is going to reproduce.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#337

Post by yumlogic »

louwrentius wrote: post #193
yumlogic wrote: post #165

Relative stability, focus on family, growth, men as head of household, minimal single parent families, women spending time with their kids. Raising kids is a full time job. I am doing both as a father and also as a founder. My wife does not work, does minimal contribution here and there. I dont know where she spends time but she is unavailable. I would rather do it myself than keep fighting. I think from population f…

> Relative stability, focus on family, growth, men as head of household, minimal single parent families, women spending time with their kids. This reads as deeply obnoxious sexism. Man as head of the household, sounds like religious fundamentalism.

Typical liberal talk rather than solving the problem.

It worked for centuries. No one is stopping women from working or doing anything. But, making whole world gynocentric and policies around it is how you get mass inequality.

For a societal change, things have to change at fundamental level. Are you aware that below $120k - $150k it is impossible to raise two kids, mortgage, healthcare, and live in a no-drug ridden neighborhood?

Decades of mistakes and yet you come here with sexism talk. Words are cheap. Life is hard.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#338

Post by swat535 »

crtified wrote: post #178

My anecdotal experience, which illustrates how changing societal norms may be contributing. Around 1960, my grandmother scandalously fell pregnant with my mother in her late teens. The child was adopted out - well, not out - in. To her own grandmother, to be raised as a "younger sister" to her own mother. Around 1980, my mother scandalously fell pregnant with me, in her late teens. Despite family disapproval, the chi…

I think the uncomfortable truth that many are reluctant to admit is that religion and societal norms (as you highlighted above) played a major role in this.

I'm not discounting other facts such as the housing crisis or cost of living but I fear that while those are important, they are secondary.

Women were often forced to carry a child due to outside pressure and had no recourse. However since the introduction of safe abortions and readily accessible birth control methods, they have regained their bodily autonomy which allows them to skip unwanted pregnancies.

I think that ultimately, liberating women is a _good_ thing because child bearing is difficult and no one women should be forced to go through it.

With all that said, having children can be wonderful. Perhaps a better solution is to both celebrate and encourage families while keeping abortion and birth control accessible. It doesn't have to be a binary choice.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#339

Post by pishpash »

like_any_other wrote: post #283
WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #36

These studies never seem to look at time spent parenting, between baby-boom years and now. My parents parented a few hours a week and were entirely typical. I parented ceaselessly, just like my parenting-peers. My parents world was possible because kids roamed with peers (and without adults) for many hours a week. This was my childhood, my parents childhood, my grandparents childhood. My kids grew up under 24/7 adult…

Don't forget the parenting of extended family and neighbors - it takes a village.. But we're moving further and further from local, village-like lives.

You need slack in the system for this to happen. If everyone needs to work then the village is empty.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#340

Post by jplrssn »

itake wrote: post #252
angmarsbane wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same boat. I know a number of women who couldn't find partners who both wanted kids and could pay half the bills so those women are now freezing their eggs or pursuing single motherhood by choice. Of the woman I know who are married, all of them had to talk their husbands into the first child and second child.

My sister is one of these cases. My take is the bar for marriage / life partner is really really high in modern relationships. Women aren't able to attract the mates they want, so they would rather try to do it on their own or wait, than "settle" for a guy that isn't meeting their standards. The female dating coach Logan Ury wrote a book called "How not to die alone" which discusses this issue.

> Women aren't able to attract the mates they want, so they would rather try to do it on their own or wait, than "settle" for a guy that isn't meeting their standards.

This seems like a rational decision to me. Better go it alone than risk becoming the sole carer of both a baby and a man-baby.

Post reply on HN