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What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

derekthompson.org

221–230 of 927 posts

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We certainly can't have a stable society with a rapidly shrinking population.

The population isn't even shrinking, let alone shrinking rapidly.

Only because of immigration. But eventually you run out of people to import...

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If child care is that expensive, it's cheaper for one person to stay home, unless both parents have high paying jobs.

It can be, but it's incredibly risky for women to stay home to take care of children. And, let's be honest - they're the ones actually putting in the effort here most of the time. Most women don't want to be at the complete financial behest of their husbands, nor do they want to risk missing out on a decade of work experience.

Men are avoiding marriage due to the possibility of alimony, child support and courts favoring mother’s custody over children. It happened to my dad, my mom got over $1 million in 2011 when they divorced.

Overall it seems like marriage is a bad gamble for both genders whenever divorce is easy to get.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#223
post #161

My $0.02 is being a mom sucks. In modern relationships, men just want to work and come home to a cooked meal and clean house, but their wives are working just as many hours the men are. Having kids means tension in relationship, unpaid labor by the woman, and stress parenting kids. Even if the husband steps up, he still can't breast feed for 3 hours per day. Pregnancy is really terrible on the woman's body. Post-part…

Those sound like premodern relationships? Every with-it youngish person I know has long rejected that model.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#224
Fix the money aspect

1. Fix Family Courts

Western Family courts are based on biblical punishment (divorce is bad and a sin, nuclear family is good, must punish sin). And extreme Christian crazy Judges falsify outcomes routinely, hence why they are hiding behind closed doors.

Leaving men broke and barely seeing their child means the next generations of men know not to marry.

2. Child Support

No sensible safeguards of how it is spent and even if the woman is a high earner the man can be asked to pay 100% of the child costs. So men are very cautious about getting the wrong woman pregnant, as women are financialy incentivised to ensure a child lives as little as possible with the father as that means more money for them. You want a balance between deterrence to unplanned kids and motivation to have kids.

Generations of men have seen what happens/been told this/social media and they are more wary.

Many relationships and marriages fail. It needs to be normalised and the lunatic Christian extremists need to be put away.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#225
post #161

My $0.02 is being a mom sucks. In modern relationships, men just want to work and come home to a cooked meal and clean house, but their wives are working just as many hours the men are. Having kids means tension in relationship, unpaid labor by the woman, and stress parenting kids. Even if the husband steps up, he still can't breast feed for 3 hours per day. Pregnancy is really terrible on the woman's body. Post-part…

> In modern relationships, men just want to work and come home to a cooked meal and clean house As a man in a "modern relationship" I strenuously object to this. I mean yeah I want that (who wouldn't?), but I know I'm not going to get it because my partner has a job too so we have to help each other. Literally every one of my married male friends also regularly cooks and cleans.

So does my teenager, that doesn't make them an equal partner.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#226
post #161

My $0.02 is being a mom sucks. In modern relationships, men just want to work and come home to a cooked meal and clean house, but their wives are working just as many hours the men are. Having kids means tension in relationship, unpaid labor by the woman, and stress parenting kids. Even if the husband steps up, he still can't breast feed for 3 hours per day. Pregnancy is really terrible on the woman's body. Post-part…

You say ‘modern relationships’ but I feel like you’re describing a stereotypical 1950s relationship in that paragraph. The lack of contrast surprises me.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#227

My anecdotal experience, which illustrates how changing societal norms may be contributing. Around 1960, my grandmother scandalously fell pregnant with my mother in her late teens. The child was adopted out - well, not out - in. To her own grandmother, to be raised as a "younger sister" to her own mother. Around 1980, my mother scandalously fell pregnant with me, in her late teens. Despite family disapproval, the chi…

I'm sorry for your loss.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#228
post #175

Homer Simpson is a bumbling incompetent who manages to have a stable job, and can afford a mortgage, insurance for his family of 5, and two good enough cars as the sole breadwinner for his household. It's going to take something like that.

That was modelled on the peak post-War nuclear family, a type of family entity that had not existed before and will likely never exist again. One person working to support 4 or 5 is not something we can strive for without a serious look at UBI along with a revolution in automation.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#229
post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No - being a mom and having to work full time sucks. Being a full time mom probably isn't that bad.

In many HCOL cities, for many couples, SAHM isn't a financially feasible option. Also, as a full-time mom, you’ve given up autonomy to your husband (since he controls the finances). While women can leave the relationship whenever they want, their careers often suffer, and they can’t just pick up where they left off.

Women can leave and get alimony, child support, and often times greater custody of the kids.

Men don’t want to take that risk, so many men opt out of marriage as well.

Re: What caused the 'baby boom'? What would it take to have another?

#230
post #161

My $0.02 is being a mom sucks. In modern relationships, men just want to work and come home to a cooked meal and clean house, but their wives are working just as many hours the men are. Having kids means tension in relationship, unpaid labor by the woman, and stress parenting kids. Even if the husband steps up, he still can't breast feed for 3 hours per day. Pregnancy is really terrible on the woman's body. Post-part…

Yes of course being a mom AND WORKING A FULLTIME JOB sucks because doing anything that effortful and working a job sucks. Drinking beer and playing video games for 10 hours a day AND WORKING A FULLTIME JOB would also suck. From everything I hear, being a mom is pretty awesome and rewarding. But there are only 24 hours in a day and you can't have everything and you have to choose what is most important. Welcome to lif…

> From everything I hear, being a mom is pretty awesome and rewarding.

Then you don’t even read magazines, let alone mom forums, or attend playgroup, or basically hear anything.

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