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Let Kids Be Loud

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Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#151

Post by drukenemo »

sarchertech wrote: post #130

I have 2 young kids, but I also had my first when I was 38 so I have a lot of experience as an adult with no kids. I’ve only ever been seriously annoyed by loud kids a handful of times in my entire life. Each time it was always travel sports teams at hotels. And I’m the kind of person who gets really annoyed at loud sounds like leaf blowers, and loud car stereos. Kids can be noisy, but I have never had dinner “ruined…

Your tolerance to noise levels says nothing about other people’s tolerance for it. Do not use your baseline to determine what is normal and what is not when it comes to sensorial experiences.

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#152

Post by drukenemo »

dustbunny wrote: post #145
bartread wrote: post #9

We have kids of various ages playing outside all the time when the weather is good and, yes, they are loud. At least, sometimes they're loud, but they aren't always, and you get used to it. I think it's good for kids to get outside. So generally it's not an issue and we just sort of tune it out and get on with our days but there is this one kid who only communicates by screaming at the top of their lungs at very high…

I recommend you not comment on this kids screaming. These parents might be extremely self conscious of their kids screaming. They might have constant anxiety about it. Your "polite" word could hurt far more than you imagine, and I doubt the screaming is something fixable with a little elbow grease from the parents.

Are you serious about this advice? Parents cannot be politely approached by a neighbor, because their kids, who they chose to have, are disturbing others regularly?

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#153

Post by drukenemo »

YorickPeterse wrote: post #87

There's kids being noisy, which in itself isn't much of a problem, and then there's _Dutch kids_ being noisy, with the latter sounding more like a bunch of roosters at a heavy metal concert.

That’s my experience too. I wonder why. Too much freedom given to the kids here?

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#154

Post by drukenemo »

airstrike wrote: post #34

There's a difference between being loud in public vs privately. As a kid, I was never allowed to be loud in a restaurant, unless it was a restaurant for kids—and even then up to a reasonable limit

That’s a reasonable argument. But in this day and age there are no shades of grey.

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#155

Post by southernplaces7 »

ectospheno wrote: post #79
alfalfasprout wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

TBH a lot of it is also a cultural shift toward being selfish. You notice it here in the comments as well. Combined with "karen" culture, people are more empowered than ever to complain about things. They forget that when they were kids, they'd be loud, play in their neighborhood, and get up to no good :) It's a real shame, this mentality is what's moved us away from a feeling of community.

Complaining about an ice cream truck you can hear in the back of your house while wearing noise cancelling headphones isn’t Karen culture.

It completely is. If you're talking about one parked for dozens of minutes or hours, sure, worth getting annoyed, but if you, living in an urban environment, can't handle a few minutes of some random noise from someone just trying to get their economic sustenance while making a few of your neighbor's kids happy for a bit, you're the problem. The funny thing is how many people try to justify their specific unreasonable intolerance as something completely okay to impose on others with complaints.

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#156

Post by southernplaces7 »

subjectsigma wrote: post #127
taeric wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Certainly, there were plenty of "dude, really?" moments when kids would go over on limits. It is hard not to think we haven't pushed the limits down to zero, though. Granted, using smoking as an example is hilarious to me. I confess near zero sympathy for that going away. If anything, I'm pretty sure I'm more dumbfounded that people still smoke in any real numbers.

Former/recovering smoker. I hear this sentiment a lot (“Why would anyone ever smoke? It’s just dumbfounding”). I can tell you the reason people smoke is because it feels fucking great. It’s a terrible, terrible habit and the number of smokers of any drug should be zero, but I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it wasn’t relaxing and enjoyable.

Second this. It's not like us smokers, or at least most of us, are sitting there hating every minute and aspect of having a smoke but unable to stop. We maybe can't stop, sure, but it's also just wonderful while we're doing it.

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#157

Post by southernplaces7 »

schwartzworld wrote: post #126
petercooper wrote: post #10

For years our neighborhood had an ice cream truck or two turn up a few days a week during summer, which we used to enjoy. This year, not a single one. I saw one of the trucks at a school fete and asked about it. The guy said one person had complained about the noise so the local council banned them after 7pm! With most of their sales falling between 6-9pm, they decided it wasn't worth it for one hour and moved on to…

Funny, we have the opposite problem. Ice cream trucks in my area have become way too aggressive. I would give anything to ban them from our neighborhood, as they come through within the first hour after school getting out, causing daily arguments in houses with children. Sometimes more than once a day. Look, even if I wanted to give my kids ice cream every day after school, I am at home and would just get it from the…

Or these parents could, you know, learn to create limits and rules for their kids and teach them to respect those, instead of blaming the ice cream truck that spends a few minutes outside at a good time for sales because the parents can't get a grip on something so minor. That guy is trying to make a living, and the inconvenience is tiny for any one area where he spends barely any time.

A lot of the so-called Karen culture is like this I think: people who can't manage their own internal issues trying to outsource the solution to them by imposing demands on others just trying to live their own lives..

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#158

Post by thefz »

The issue I see is not with kids themselves but rather the parents, dumping them anywhere with no supervision because they need to "disconnect" doomscrolling on instagram.

I played in the courtyard with neighboring kids all my infancy and as soon as the volume raised above a certain level, we were scolded immediately

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#159

Post by thefz »

voxleone wrote: post #11

I'm noticing a reversal of social deference: -Then: Older generations had the cultural authority, and children were expected to conform. -Now: There’s increasing tolerance—and even privilege—granted to children (and parents), sometimes at the expense of quiet, order, or adult comfort. Hypothesis: This shift reflects a society aware of its declining birthrate, where children are becoming scarcer and more symbolically…

> This shift reflects a society aware of its declining birthrate, where children are becoming scarcer and more symbolically valuable, so institutions (like courts) may reflexively protect or favor youth-centered activity.

Pretty sure no one is valuing kids more because they are "scarce".

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#160

Post by bartread »

drukenemo wrote: post #152
dustbunny wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recommend you not comment on this kids screaming. These parents might be extremely self conscious of their kids screaming. They might have constant anxiety about it. Your "polite" word could hurt far more than you imagine, and I doubt the screaming is something fixable with a little elbow grease from the parents.

Are you serious about this advice? Parents cannot be politely approached by a neighbor, because their kids, who they chose to have, are disturbing others regularly?

Yeah, I mean, I didn't type it out longform, but step 1 is obviously to find out what's going on. There might be some very strong underlying cause for the behaviour that means it's going to be difficult or impossible to change... but you can't find that out if you don't talk to the parents. Knowledge promotes understanding, etc.
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