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Why Koreans ask what year you were born

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Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#131

Post by vel0city »

yurishimo wrote: post #90
dustincoates wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At least when I was growing up, it was still the norm in the South/Texas. My parents would have never referred to the elderly in our neighborhood by their first names.

I also great up in Texas (30yo now). I was raised to always say sir/ma'am but for most adults that I knew well, we were on a first name basis. Deacons at church were usually on a first name basis (my parents volunteered a lot so I knew them all really well) but the one noticeable exception was the pastor and anyone in a teaching role. Teachers were always addressed by Mr/Mrs/Ms and this extended into Scouts as well.…

> I was raised to always say sir/ma'am

I also grew up in Texas and to this day I still tend to use sir/ma'am for most adults I don't know. Every now and then it seems to throw people off. People don't seem to expect to hear "Yes, sir" very often it seems.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#132

Post by anal_reactor »

staticman2 wrote: post #123
anal_reactor wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The fact that different cultures evolved such systems independently proves that the general idea does make sense. Case in point: you go to an American company, the CEO says "call me simply John, feel free to chat up whenever you feel like it, we're all family here" and then you go talk to him about sex life problems of your marriage and he just stares at you awkwardly. Having explicit layers of social "closeness" mak…

In your example the American CEO said you are family. Do you frequently tell you mom, dad, brothers, children and in laws about your sex life? Of course not. Whatever problem the American in this hypothetical is having, name conventions are not likely to help.

> Do you frequently tell you mom, dad, brothers, children and in laws about your sex life?

Yes.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#133

Post by IAmBroom »

OhMeadhbh wrote: post #59
bambax wrote: post #6

> The younger person also addresses the older person, usually with a title or another word that fits their relationship, but not their name. Only the older person addresses the younger one with their name. (There can be more nuance.) I love this. I'm an old French guy and still can't quite accept when srangers in an email (or a machine, a system, a web form) adress me using my first name. Being "on a first name basis…

I try to get people to avoid my first name, mostly because they can't pronounce it. The only time I had a stranger pronounce it right was when we were meeting w/ the Republic of Ireland tech transfer office.

O, Mev!

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#134

Post by ffsm8 »

whstl wrote: post #47
kinleyd wrote: post #35

As a young man many years ago I happened to be in Seoul, in a shoe store. I was casually asking prices in English and noticed the salesman or owner was getting visibly angry with me. So much so that as I went around the corner of the store I clearly saw that he had begun advancing toward me, with every intention of physically attacking me. I put my hand forward to stop him and as I did, I shouted loudly, again in Eng…

In Germany I never had someone go to those lengths, but I've once made someone visible irritated when I used "du" instead of the more formal "Sie" . Of course I didn't notice but a friend just clued me into it right after. Thing is, in Berlin nobody really cares I guess, but this time I was in the country... oooooops...

That must've been quite some time ago.

With multiple areas with >50% migrants you can count yourself lucky if ppl even speak German fluently enough to hold a conversation.

And the last holdouts that are still mostly natives are usually in the countryside... And the du/Sie rule has always been an urban convention.

Personally, I think your friend just noticed the phrasing and made an issue out of nothing

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#135

Post by rayiner »

bambax wrote: post #6

> The younger person also addresses the older person, usually with a title or another word that fits their relationship, but not their name. Only the older person addresses the younger one with their name. (There can be more nuance.) I love this. I'm an old French guy and still can't quite accept when srangers in an email (or a machine, a system, a web form) adress me using my first name. Being "on a first name basis…

I spent almost 10 years trying to avoid calling my mother and father in law by their first names. In my home country's language there are words for "mother in law" and "father in law" you can use in a second person context, but English doesn't have any. My wife has the opposite problem. She's gotten stuck calling my parents "Mr. XYZ" and "Mrs. XYZ."

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#136

Post by BenjiWiebe »

Muromec wrote: post #44
netsharc wrote: post #4

A friend (not Korean) said on his 29th birthday that he's starting his 30th year of life. It was an interesting perspective, because in general we celebrate our nth birthday after completing n years of life.

Seventh hour is everything between 6:01 and 6:59, yes.

Everything between 6 and 7, right? ;)

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#137

Post by EasyMark »

benediktwerner wrote: post #12
bambax wrote: post #6

> The younger person also addresses the older person, usually with a title or another word that fits their relationship, but not their name. Only the older person addresses the younger one with their name. (There can be more nuance.) I love this. I'm an old French guy and still can't quite accept when srangers in an email (or a machine, a system, a web form) adress me using my first name. Being "on a first name basis…

Interesting, as a German (which also has a similar system), I am the complete opposite, I find it super irritating when people address me by my last name. And the worst part is having to figure out how to address others, especially people you've known for a while but aren't really close to, e.g. say long-time neighbors I rarely meet. Luckily, in the IT industry, it's common to just use first names with everybody.

Yeah I have had bosses refer to me by my last name and it's effin irritating. I almost always prefer relaxed, casual attitudes more than frumpy traditionalist for no good reason situations. I understand rare formal occasions but I don't want to put on some mask of formality every day. I consider everyone equal, at least as far as value as a human being. Just treat me with respect, I'm fine with you using my first name.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#138

Post by EasyMark »

anal_reactor wrote: post #86
sfifs wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I find addressing people by surname uniquely stupid. Like are you calling the person or the historical clan? It perhaps made sense for medieval lords to address their underlings as if they were interchangeable, in our modern context that has largely done away with royalty, using surnames makes no sense. It becomes even more interesting when traditionally cultures (like mine) don't use surnames, but modern IT sys…

The fact that different cultures evolved such systems independently proves that the general idea does make sense. Case in point: you go to an American company, the CEO says "call me simply John, feel free to chat up whenever you feel like it, we're all family here" and then you go talk to him about sex life problems of your marriage and he just stares at you awkwardly. Having explicit layers of social "closeness" mak…

I don't talk to my work relationship only CEO about anything sexual. That's just common sense, and is built into our social mores, no need for some hokey Mr. Blahblah unless he wants to be called that explicitly, and I'm fine with that.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#139

Post by EasyMark »

miki123211 wrote: post #82
lukan wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In its extreme shapes maybe, but just paying respect to the elders for having lived much longer and seen so much more, is something that should be normal in my opinion.

It used to be a lot more reasonable back in the day. When the world didn't change as quickly, or didn't change at all, the elders truly knew everything the young ones knew, and so much more. They had truly seen everything and had plenty of experience with the problems young people were struggling with. This very much isn't the case any more. I'm in my twenties (technically part of gen Z), but I already feel like I do…

I'm not sure tik tok expertise implies worldliness or wisdom :)

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#140

Post by neurostimulant »

Llamamoe wrote: post #130
bitbasher wrote: post #128

Japanese also has a number of social systems and expectations that can be tricky to navigate as an outsider. When I was younger and studying Japanese I used to play a popular Japanese MMORPG. It was popular among middle aged individuals (25-50). I was lucky enough to meet a Japanese clan leader that invited me into one of the largest clans in the game. Fast forward a year or so-- and a new player joined the clan. One…

> I would often suggest things we could do or ask if they wanted to do something. In reality, it was expected to do small talk and wait for senior clan members to suggest something to do. I was crossing some social boundary... I know that this sort of shit happens in corporations and the government, but the idea that it crosses over into even multiplayer games makes me reconsider if I really want to ever visit Japan.…

Big clans are basically companies with hierarchical power structure.
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