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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#281

Post by anal_reactor »

These ideas pop up once in a while, but they fail to address the core issue. We don't have friends because having friends actually negatively affects our ability to amass resources. In 2025 the only reason why we want friends is because our caveman instincts tell us to do so. Having friends feels nice, but it's an impractical luxury, like getting a big mansion or an expensive car. This is a fundamental shift to what friendships used to be, that is basic mechanism of survival. I think that the loneliness epidemic isn't a problem to solve, but rather an evolutionary filter. A bigger force we cannot combat. People who cannot function without social bonds will go crazy and die out. People who thrive in loneliness will live. That's it.

Simply imagine a species of animals that are social, but then apply evolutionary pressure to convert them into solitary ones. This is what we're experiencing now as a humanity.

Another comparison is the obesity epidemic. It just filters out people who are unable to control their appetite.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#282

Post by flomo »

yusina wrote: post #261
SoftTalker wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well we already have people on this page commenting on the demograpic represented on the submitted web site. Yes, in today's world there are almost always people looking to play "gotcha" and will try to pin you as a racist, misogynist, homophobe, or some other sort of bigot or pariah.

[flagged]

I dunno, I try not to be evil, but I slapstick flipped into a leftist circular firing squad back in my college days. Back then we could all just say fuck you too, and move on with life with no long-term consequences. The truth is there's a lot of mini-cults and other groups who want to recruit and then exclude people.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#283

Post by notarobot123 »

JimDabell wrote: post #181
keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

It’s not always location-agnostic, but you’re more likely to hear about location-agnostic efforts because they have further reach. For instance Men’s Sheds are a local effort with a thousand locations in the UK: > Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation. > Resea…

The men are there to meet each other, not to avoid women. Gender segregation isn't the point - it's about building relationships.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#284

Post by openplatypus »

> Male loneliness epidemic

You are solving a non-existent problem.

There is no "male loneliness epidemic". If anything, there might be a "human loneliness epidemic". This is not a DEI angle on the problem.

Times have changed, societies have changed. But our expectations have not.

It is literally time to grow up to the new reality.

I think Professor Galloway, whom I am generally a fan of, is spreading a narrative based on selective statistics.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#285

Post by lynx97 »

PaulDavisThe1st wrote: post #212
bluefirebrand wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They need to be male only spaces because introducing women to the space fundamentally changes the social dynamic among the men, especially the single men I have seen this ever since the moment me and my friends hit puberty in high school, to this very day. When a group of men is hanging out they are more relaxed. The moment a woman is in the space the vibe changes I cannot be the only person who has noticed this

[flagged]

Maybe because heterosexuality is still the norm?

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#286

Post by lotsofpulp »

carabiner wrote: post #229
keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

Last one I tried was Grouper: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grouper_social_club You'd meet up for dinner at a local place that was usually pretty good, with 2-3 other people, mostly tech-adjacent. Dinners were pretty polite, a little awkward, mildly stimulating, but I never made real relationships from it. Seems like the same idea has emerged with https://timeleft.com . I don't know. It seems like the best way to mak…

> I don't know. It seems like the best way to make friends is to force people to do some other task next to each other a few days per week and let things form organically after they are around each other for a few years.

You need a “shared struggle” to build tribal bonds. Some kind of us vs it or us vs them narrative. A simple get together where everyone spends money and has a good time is never going to accomplish that.

That is why immigrant groups, religious groups, professional groups, etc are more resilient, and successive generations that experience more independence end up splintering and otherwise loosening the bonds.

See also hazing in militaries/sports teams/“Greek” organizations/etc (not that I condone hazing).

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#287

Post by jim-jim-jim »

subscribed wrote: post #242
jamesdeluk wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why didn't they start Women's Sheds?

Oh, but why if they're having a functional clubs already? I feel like men only spaces in the UK are frowned upon (see Garrick club narration). No matter the reason, the only way single sex spaces work here is women only.

I'm under the impression that women's only spaces are very much frowned upon in the English speaking world, whether it be in sports, book awards, knitting circles, toilets, or prisons.

This isn't an x-has-it-worse comment by the way. I think every demographic is entitled to self-segregate without shame, and the ladies definitely face their own struggles in achieving this.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#288

Post by KolibriFly »

keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

There's something irreplaceable about place-based community

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#289

Post by immibis »

JimDabell wrote: post #181
keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

It’s not always location-agnostic, but you’re more likely to hear about location-agnostic efforts because they have further reach. For instance Men’s Sheds are a local effort with a thousand locations in the UK: > Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation. > Resea…

Why does the presence of women cause men to not have male friends?

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#290

Post by lotsofpulp »

jonny_eh wrote: post #250
achow wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A billion dollar company started with this idea. Schultz envisioned Starbucks as a “third place” between home and work, fostering community and connection. https://mulcahyconsultants.com/2023/12/14/howard-schultz-and...

My local one removed all its seats and is now take out only.

There is just too much liability, both legal and public relations wise, with operating cheap third places.

https://apnews.com/article/starbucks-racism-philadelphia-man...

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