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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#221

Post by te_chris »

cedws wrote: post #135
som wrote: post #100

[flagged]

Introducing women to a group of men completely changes the dynamics, and vice versa. Genders have fundamental differences, and it's human nature to act differently in the presence of the other. Consider also that men may not be willing to be themselves or be open in the presence of women. Are they not allowed to have a space for this? A mixed gender social club inevitably gets raided by a load of dudebros who want to…

London has a rich and varied culture of private clubs, some more social than others. Never seen the dudebros wanting to get laid thing. Maybe it’s an American thing?

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#222

Post by jonfromsf »

These were a huge part of the American social fabric in the past. Most of the organizations are still active, although smaller than before. There's Freemasons, The Elks, Rotary International, American Legion, VFW, Knights of Columbus, Loyal order of Moose, Shriners, Lions Club, Kiwanis ...

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#223

Post by SoftTalker »

bradlys wrote: post #198
SoftTalker wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No women at the gym? OK it sounds obvious but you just need to get involved with things where there is female participation and not just dudes. Pottery, book clubs, hiking/biking groups, cooking groups, dance lessons, various volunteer groups, even church, etc. But it has to be stuff you're genuinely interested in regardless. Nothing will come off worse than a new guy who's clearly there just to meet women (although,…

The times have changed. Meeting your spouse in person is pretty uncommon for educated white collar workers in nyc like myself. Almost everyone I know has met their partner off a dating app in the last few years. It’s exhausting. I’m also uniquely ugly and that’s my main issue. So, again, times are different. Huge emphasis on looks above all other features. Attraction precedes curiosity.

> I’m also uniquely ugly

All the more reason to avoid dating apps and do it the old way. Dating apps are entirely superficial at least for the initial matching.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#224

Post by [deleted] »

PaulDavisThe1st wrote: post #212
bluefirebrand wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They need to be male only spaces because introducing women to the space fundamentally changes the social dynamic among the men, especially the single men I have seen this ever since the moment me and my friends hit puberty in high school, to this very day. When a group of men is hanging out they are more relaxed. The moment a woman is in the space the vibe changes I cannot be the only person who has noticed this

[flagged]

[deleted]

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#225

Post by scarby2 »

PaulDavisThe1st wrote: post #212
bluefirebrand wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They need to be male only spaces because introducing women to the space fundamentally changes the social dynamic among the men, especially the single men I have seen this ever since the moment me and my friends hit puberty in high school, to this very day. When a group of men is hanging out they are more relaxed. The moment a woman is in the space the vibe changes I cannot be the only person who has noticed this

[flagged]

It's broadly true though. It doesn't apply to all of us but as a group it's a thing.

Personally it's not for me, I'm a heterosexual male but I get on far better with women and find men's spaces intimidating.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#228

Post by Veen »

wkat4242 wrote: post #72
Telemakhos wrote: post #16

Sometimes I wish we could have "gentlemen's clubs" of the sort that existed in Victorian Britain (not the US strip club version), third-spaces where one could go to read or converse or play cards with other men or even have a meal or a drink. Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today.

Those clubs still exist in London but they're just for the elite to make shady backroom deals with their rich buddies :) They're really exclusive and they always have been. You and I would not get in, not now and not in the Victorian days. Even 'new money' is usually not ok. You really have to have gone to the right school and have the right family.

The working class used to have working men’s clubs, but they no longer serve the same purpose.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#229

Post by carabiner »

keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

Last one I tried was Grouper: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grouper_social_club

You'd meet up for dinner at a local place that was usually pretty good, with 2-3 other people, mostly tech-adjacent. Dinners were pretty polite, a little awkward, mildly stimulating, but I never made real relationships from it. Seems like the same idea has emerged with https://timeleft.com.

I don't know. It seems like the best way to make friends is to force people to do some other task next to each other a few days per week and let things form organically after they are around each other for a few years.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#230

Post by zwaps »

ToucanLoucan wrote: post #165
bluefirebrand wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They need to be male only spaces because introducing women to the space fundamentally changes the social dynamic among the men, especially the single men I have seen this ever since the moment me and my friends hit puberty in high school, to this very day. When a group of men is hanging out they are more relaxed. The moment a woman is in the space the vibe changes I cannot be the only person who has noticed this

[flagged]

Nobody said anything like this. I love hanging out in mixed groups.

However, and this may shock you, I also love hanging out in non mixed groups. And they are not the same.

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