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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#161

Post by Disposal8433 »

nprateem wrote: post #83
ecshafer wrote: post #13

I think this is a good idea but I think to get it really going good you need to have a social club. The old ethnic, religious an society social clubs all had a common factor of a club house. You could go to the American Legion, or Elks, or Masons, or Knights of columbus or Polish club or whatever at any time when you were a member you had old timers hanging out and doing things regularly. Youe event schedule will als…

No, you need regular events, same place twice a month. That's the killer for social clubs like this. Just have a regular date in the diary and if people are free they can drop in. Then do the more unique events on a different day (and let members suggest/ organise events too). Friendship is repetition with the same group. Make it easy on people by meeting at the same time, maybe changing venue within a small area. A…

Its funny because you described liberal Freemasonry: mandatory attendance twice a month. Forcing yourself to go and feeling the honor of being part of a group has been great for me.

I'm sure other groups have that kind of rule too, but the mandatory part is what makes it special.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#162

Post by zerocrates »

BurningFrog wrote: post #87
rchaud wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today. You just described a country club, right down to the innate classism and exclusivity rules.

Are male only country clubs legal?

Private clubs have an exemption in several of the key civil rights laws, so they often can discriminate where businesses open to the public could not.

They can run into trouble when they allow the public to use their facilities, or grant membership so freely that they start to seem like they aren't really private.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#163

Post by dingnuts »

ToucanLoucan wrote: post #138
krisboyz781 wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same reason why women like having women spaces. There certain experiences exclusive to being a male.

Example?

candid discussion of relations with the opposite sex without fear of offense

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#164

Post by BJones12 »

ToucanLoucan wrote: post #138
krisboyz781 wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same reason why women like having women spaces. There certain experiences exclusive to being a male.

Example?

Talking about your feelings without fear of a woman getting the ick.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#165

Post by ToucanLoucan »

bluefirebrand wrote: post #153
ToucanLoucan wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do they need to be male-only to solve the male loneliness epidemic? Why can't men socialize in public spaces in a way that isn't offensive to others? I say this as a former dude who has spent the vast, vast, vast majority of my life as a man, socializing with men and not-men, in public. I have never had a single issue.

They need to be male only spaces because introducing women to the space fundamentally changes the social dynamic among the men, especially the single men I have seen this ever since the moment me and my friends hit puberty in high school, to this very day. When a group of men is hanging out they are more relaxed. The moment a woman is in the space the vibe changes I cannot be the only person who has noticed this

[flagged]

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#166

Post by achow »

Telemakhos wrote: post #16

Sometimes I wish we could have "gentlemen's clubs" of the sort that existed in Victorian Britain (not the US strip club version), third-spaces where one could go to read or converse or play cards with other men or even have a meal or a drink. Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today.

A billion dollar company started with this idea.

Schultz envisioned Starbucks as a “third place” between home and work, fostering community and connection.

https://mulcahyconsultants.com/2023/12/14/howard-schultz-and...

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#167

Post by djdeutschebahn »

Telemakhos wrote: post #16

Sometimes I wish we could have "gentlemen's clubs" of the sort that existed in Victorian Britain (not the US strip club version), third-spaces where one could go to read or converse or play cards with other men or even have a meal or a drink. Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today.

Whats the difference of your definition to a pub? Also they may be limited and there may exist rules on behavior.

At least you can/could play cards, converse with your fellows or some randoms.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#168

Post by pmc3 »

Telemakhos wrote: post #16

Sometimes I wish we could have "gentlemen's clubs" of the sort that existed in Victorian Britain (not the US strip club version), third-spaces where one could go to read or converse or play cards with other men or even have a meal or a drink. Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today.

You don't have to wish - these literally exist today, both in the US (see link below) and elsewhere. The problem is that they are expensive and hard to get in to.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_gentlemen%27s_clubs_in...

NYC and London are both having a bit of a renaissance of new clubs being founded, although most of them are coed.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#170

Post by bluefirebrand »

rchaud wrote: post #136
SoftTalker wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well we already have people on this page commenting on the demograpic represented on the submitted web site. Yes, in today's world there are almost always people looking to play "gotcha" and will try to pin you as a racist, misogynist, homophobe, or some other sort of bigot or pariah.

How would that apply in a real life setting? You're assuming that busy people would take time out of their day to attend a social event in person to nitpick the demographic makeup of said event instead of making friendly banter. How often has that happened at social events you've attended?

Anecdotally, when I lived in Victoria BC (a very lefty city) this did actually happen at events I went to more than once. I didn't go to events much so unless I just was unlucky to witness this sort of thing more than once, it was frequent

For what it is worth, I didn't think the complainers went out of their way just to complain, they did have a genuine interest in the events. They just also liked to complain about the demographics and steer the groups towards things that would make us "more inclusive"

It always ended the same way: the group mostly dissolved

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