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What my stroke taught me (2017)

nautil.us

51–60 of 75 posts

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is kicking the can down the road. I can ask you: what happens before you have "inner monologue"? Nothing? Words just pop into your head? How do you decide what to "inner monologue"? How can you have "complex inner monologue" without inner monologue discussing the coming inner monologue? We're the same, but I just skip the inner monologue. Now I'm typing and I have very little idea what comes next. I review it af…

Do you ever "imagine", however vague that is, another person asking you a question or saying a statement? Or yourself making a statement or question to someone else? What I'm actually challenging, is that people exist that can e.g. write coherent paragraphs like these comments, with having absolutely no inner monologue, ever. I don't buy that there is "another inner language of thoughts", of the same or greater compl…

This is quite a swampy bit of territory you're joining me in here so please excuse the mess.

I'm going to attempt a good faith interpretation here so we're clear. I want to understand your position, because I think it's, if nothing else, very interesting to contemplate these matters.

First of all, I have to clear the obvious debris out of the way.

I can read and I can cogitate lingual constructs. That includes creating monologues. Sometimes I "role-play" some professor or something and talk through my problem out loud - when alone. I tend to do this with philosophical problems, but it's unnatural and quite entertaining. The last time I did this must have been a few months ago when pondering Hume's problem of "necessary connection" or Kant's .. everything. I think this is the closest I get to "inner monologue" and it does have its uses, because language in and of itself has a computational character of sorts. By speaking the words out loud I sometimes trigger snippets of verbal knowledge that wouldn't be triggered otherwise.

If this qualifies me as "having inner monologue" already then we're done. By that definition I am in your club and I'm fine with that.

What would still remain however is that those role-playing sessions are deliberate and unnecessary. I can quite easily go without them. It's a trick I've picked up, but it's by no means the only way to make progress. Their nature is comparable to rubber duck debugging: by explaining your problem you work through it differently somehow than if you'd remain "stuck in your head". I can go without rubber ducking, but it's still a useful trick.

Another way of approaching this problem is through programming - assuming you code. You don't literally think "Ah, I see a linked list here and it gets initialized here.. [etc]"? Or maybe you do? I can tell you quite firmly that I don't. If you also don't then just assume I go through my life in the same abstract wordless mode.

> I don't buy that there is "another inner language of thoughts", of the same or greater complexity than our known language, which has not been discovered or described at all.

I find this quite interesting, because I don't understand it. Our language is made of rules and in and of itself has no content. It's literally made out of just rules. Any intelligence has to be brought into it. This was quite clear with GPT-2 era transformers spewing sentences like: "The bear and the snake are wearing stairs". You have to know quite a lot before you can explain why this is nonsense despite it being a valid sentence and it's not clear to me at all that this knowledge itself is purely lingual.

This "inner language" you speak of is just raw cogitation and surely you employ it just as much as me but we assign different words to things. This "inner language" is not to be put "besides" our natural languages, it's the core of it. Without it, there would be no "natural language". I view natural language as a communication convenience, built on top of and not besides raw wordless thought.

I'm not 100% sure how to handle your analogy because, as you've indicated, it's quite tricky, but I'll try something. Sorry for the mess again:

I agree that higher level abstractions enable cognitive moves that just won't be obvious from raw assembly.

Where we disagree, I think, is that these "higher level concepts" are somehow spontaneously lingual by nature. In my view of things these higher level concepts are still raw thought, but .. higher. More complex. Encoding these new more complex cogitations necessitates more complicated lingual structures.

Let's put it this way: do you first cogitate the "class concept" or does the "class syntax" enable the "class"-cogitation? Perhaps for a programmer it's the second, but for the one inventing the abstraction surely the cogitation must come first and, lacking existing lingual constructs, must be cogitated in a purer form.

My problem would thus be: how could you possibly cogitate something that doesn't yet exist in language if all you have is language? "class" does not "fall out of" assembly naturally - inside of it. You need to bring cogitation from outside and then realize it and be able to think of an encoding for that new concept to communicate the idea.

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you ever "imagine", however vague that is, another person asking you a question or saying a statement? Or yourself making a statement or question to someone else? What I'm actually challenging, is that people exist that can e.g. write coherent paragraphs like these comments, with having absolutely no inner monologue, ever. I don't buy that there is "another inner language of thoughts", of the same or greater compl…

This is quite a swampy bit of territory you're joining me in here so please excuse the mess. I'm going to attempt a good faith interpretation here so we're clear. I want to understand your position, because I think it's, if nothing else, very interesting to contemplate these matters. First of all, I have to clear the obvious debris out of the way. I can read and I can cogitate lingual constructs. That includes creati…

> If this qualifies me as "having inner monologue" already then we're done.

It does, but we're not done - we just got the "never" out of the way. I still don't think anybody that literally NEVER has any inner monologue/dialogue could pass as functioning adult in our society today, which I will try to explain here. We did not get that much out of the way though, as there is still vast room between "most of the time" and "once every few months".

I think these are key questions, from my armchair position, if you will excuse that. I don't doubt that some people have much less or more frequent inner monologues. For example, people with ADHD may have, among many other things, a too frequent (or fast, or fast-jumping) inner monologue. I'm not claiming this is the cause or anything, but it could be a factor, or some kind of feedback loop.

> Our language is made of rules and in and of itself has no content. It's literally made out of just rules. Any intelligence has to be brought into it. This was quite clear with GPT-2 era transformers spewing sentences like: "The bear and the snake are wearing stairs". You have to know quite a lot before you can explain why this is nonsense despite it being a valid sentence and it's not clear to me at all that this knowledge itself is purely lingual.

Language is just an extremely efficient encoding of reality. We are having this conversation right now, and the actual information encoded in it is orders of magnitudes higher than just the rules we are using. A word is just a sound or one combination of alphabet letters, yet it is attached to a million pathways of more words, each gaining or losing great amount of weight depending on the surrounding words. The rules are just there to make the pathfinding efficient.

To "know quite a lot" could be either, like I said, some hidden inner "encoding of thoughts" that has not yet been described or discovered, or actual language - perhaps mixed together with primitive "feelings" but impossible to use without language.

We know that the brain can produce this extremely dense and efficient encoding of information to communicate with each other. We know that most people also use this language internally, with a monologue or dialogues, to construct complex and simple scenarios. Now let's assume some people really don't have any inner monologue at all. A person would fall into either of these two categories:

1. Like the author describes, where she did not function like a "normal" person at all AND she was not aware of it, but others were well aware. 2. There is another "hidden" code, capable of the same complexity and efficiency, that has not been discovered or really described by anybody, that can be translated immediately to spoken or written language.

You can see that I find 2. very hard to believe, so either I'm making a strawman, or people that claim to have no inner monologue truly do have at least some degree of it.

> Let's put it this way: do you first cogitate the "class concept" or does the "class syntax" enable the "class"-cogitation?

So I started the bad computer analogy, and now I must own it. While technically possible to spontaneously conjure the class syntax and this making the concept, it's never really the case in general. The "class concept" existed first, described in a poorer way by existing syntax: a collection of functions that take a struct on which they mainly operate. The class-syntax, today, describes the class-concept much better than previous syntax, thus the programming language has evolved. Just like human language does, but human language is much more expressive and dynamic than computer language.

To get back to my doubting the general statement in the comments of "I have no inner monologue", could you answer some more questions?

When was the last time, or with what frequency if any, you imagine another person speaking in your head?

And yourself replying or making a statement or starting a conversation with someone else or even yourself?

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "My favorite flowers are roses" is a highly pruned version of what I was actually thinking. In this scenario, would the phrase "My favorite flowers are roses" have materialized in your mind? Or if this scenario would be: you have been asked "What are your favorite flowers?", and you would just speak out those words to the other person without rehearsing in your head, would you be capable of recreating that scenario…

> In this scenario, would the phrase "My favorite flowers are roses" have materialized in your mind? That depends on the situation. I thought I'd mentioned it in this thread, but apparently I'd mentioned it on the post about aphasia a few days ago. I don't think in words anymore except when I'm either conversing with or thinking about conversing with someone else. If I was just thinking to myself about my favorite th…

Thank you, these insights are extremely interesting!

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t get this all the time or get into it because most people don’t understand or dismiss it. I just hope I can explain well enough. When I write it’s almost always flow of consciousness style and I make a lot of mistakes. In online or chat kind of settings it makes me look a little dumber than I am, I mix words up on the spot a lot, it’s probably the closest thing to whatever would be my “internal” narrative, als…

> I often argue with myself anyway. > I am constantly in “arguments” with my own assumptions. This is usually what best describes "having an internal monologue". Do you ever imagine yourself or other people saying hypothetical things?

people describe it as some constant flow with an actual voice. I do not have that, and I don’t feel a need to conjure visions of arguing with myself to do so - that sounds weird to me. I don’t really know how else to describe it.

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is quite a swampy bit of territory you're joining me in here so please excuse the mess. I'm going to attempt a good faith interpretation here so we're clear. I want to understand your position, because I think it's, if nothing else, very interesting to contemplate these matters. First of all, I have to clear the obvious debris out of the way. I can read and I can cogitate lingual constructs. That includes creati…

> If this qualifies me as "having inner monologue" already then we're done. It does, but we're not done - we just got the "never" out of the way. I still don't think anybody that literally NEVER has any inner monologue/dialogue could pass as functioning adult in our society today, which I will try to explain here. We did not get that much out of the way though, as there is still vast room between "most of the time" a…

Just FYI it’s pretty rude/insulting and not interesting to dismiss someone’s shared experience based on nothing but your own armchair feelings, and even moreso to concede if the person is telling the truth (how on earth could a person be lying or mistaken about this?) that they couldn’t be a functioning adult.

It’s honestly quite a narcissistic view that someone could not possibly think differently than you, and dismiss it out of hand. The other people in this comment thread sharing similar things make perfect sense to me.

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If this qualifies me as "having inner monologue" already then we're done. It does, but we're not done - we just got the "never" out of the way. I still don't think anybody that literally NEVER has any inner monologue/dialogue could pass as functioning adult in our society today, which I will try to explain here. We did not get that much out of the way though, as there is still vast room between "most of the time" a…

Just FYI it’s pretty rude/insulting and not interesting to dismiss someone’s shared experience based on nothing but your own armchair feelings, and even moreso to concede if the person is telling the truth (how on earth could a person be lying or mistaken about this?) that they couldn’t be a functioning adult. It’s honestly quite a narcissistic view that someone could not possibly think differently than you, and dism…

I know that it can be perceived so, which is why I prefaced with "I know it's bad to say this - like telling someone who is ill that they are not - but I cannot believe that...".

I am only engaging with commenters who are interested in the conversation, and I'm NOT trying to put anyone down. I just want to get to know more exact meanings and nuances of "I don't have an internal monologue".

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#57
post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Language is just a way of encoding semantic meaning. If your brain already knows that it is time to wake up or that it hates that guy, what's the point of encoding a description of that feeling into spoken language and replay it? That sounds inefficient. I have an inner monologue, but most of the time (and especially when I want to work fast), I "disable" it. Then my mind simply works in the "meaning space", where it…

Language can encode information very densely. There is no point in describing "hate that guy". But it can be very efficient to have an inner monologue of "I hate that guy, but I must greet him friendly, or else I will be in trouble". If you'd just let yourself guide by feelings, you would be angry, or afraid, or genuinely happy to see that guy you hate. We already know how to encode and decode it language, because we…

My point is that "I hate that guy, but I must greet him friendly, or else I will be in trouble" is already being concluded by the brain at the semantic space way before running the language encoder and playing the inner voice. That voice already knows what is going to say before saying it.

The brain can extract those conclusions in mere milliseconds and act in consequence, and that doesn't mean being guided by feelings.

I'd argue that skipping the language lets you think in more complex scenarios where visualizing something is required, like when playing a sport, painting, or composing a melody.

Removing the noise of language also allows you to think in parallel and solve problems faster. In my case I'd say I can run a couple of "threads" only, but I wouldn't be surprised if top chess players could run a dozen.

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#58
This piece is a gift. Read it the second time today, but was only vaguely sure I've read it before (I think also through HN submission).

It might sound cynical to people who suffer from these severe neurological injuries. But it also is also a great piece about "not thinking".

If you are a person who feels tormented and fascinated by inner monologue or generally have issues with self-perception, trauma, mental health, depression, this is a great read.

Especially if you feel trapped in your inner monologue. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels like this more often than not.

Same message like many spiritual or self-help strategies (mindfulness, living in the now, etc).

But this story is visceral, captivating.

I'm not a doctor, but I would even recommend it as a therapeutic device.

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is quite a swampy bit of territory you're joining me in here so please excuse the mess. I'm going to attempt a good faith interpretation here so we're clear. I want to understand your position, because I think it's, if nothing else, very interesting to contemplate these matters. First of all, I have to clear the obvious debris out of the way. I can read and I can cogitate lingual constructs. That includes creati…

> If this qualifies me as "having inner monologue" already then we're done. It does, but we're not done - we just got the "never" out of the way. I still don't think anybody that literally NEVER has any inner monologue/dialogue could pass as functioning adult in our society today, which I will try to explain here. We did not get that much out of the way though, as there is still vast room between "most of the time" a…

I think you have locked on to the LLM-viewpoint quite strongly. I don't think I can agree with a lot of your presuppositions. Like "the rules are just there to make the pathfinding efficient" and "language is just an extremely efficient encoding of reality".

While very interesting I'd have a hell of time debating those issues in this kind of medium. If you take that as your starting point then I do understand why you have a hard time grasping the "lack of monologue"-thing. If language is the source of all raw cogitation then how could anyone possibly lack monologue and still function? Am I getting it? I think I get it and I'd agree if I'd take your framework as true.

> impossible to use without language.

Now I understand those types of statements. I am totally not in a position to say you are wrong, but I'd be careful with this because you seem to be a holding a flashlight and saying there is light everywhere you look.

All I can say is I just don't think language plays that large a role in cognition. Why not? That's an excellent question, but I cannot possibly do justice to that here - besides being a complete amateur. I can leave some clues or things that count to me as clues, perhaps. We are surrounded with enormous quantities of beings that utterly and completely lack language yet show tremendous intellectual sophistication. Our own children are completely non-verbal for a very long time and sure, while they won't be winning Nobel prizes at that stage, you can't possibly claim they are incapable of the very same cognitive maneuvering you showed in the coding example (abstraction, generalization, etc). To me it's just a matter of scale. We gained function, we added something new and fancy to the preexisting Mammalian machinery with language, but I don't think it's fundamental to raw cogitation.

> 2. There is another "hidden" code, capable of the same complexity and efficiency, that has not been discovered or really described by anybody, that can be translated immediately to spoken or written language.

3. All people use the same raw cognitive substrate but some feel the need / are wired to overlay it with running commentary. A running commentary they themselves can inspect, I might add. That's an interesting bit. If it is so foundational, what's inspecting it? Language again? Like an LLM-reasoning type of agent or agents?

I notice the question "What happens before the inner monologue? A deeper level of monologue?" didn't get addressed and I'm quite interested in it. What process produces the monologue you perceive as necessary for cogitation? It surely can't be a monologue again? At some point you have to admit these dialogues just "pop into existence" pre-baked, right? Out of what? What produced that if not some raw, unobservable, non-verbal cogitation? That non-verbal cogitation has to be capable of some kind of computation to make that happen or am I making some kind of error?

Honestly, that last question is rhetorical. I'm making all types of errors, but I hope you see I'm kind of on the fence on the language thing. I'm fully open to the fact that I just might not be perceiving the monologue.

Re: What my stroke taught me (2017)

#60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just FYI it’s pretty rude/insulting and not interesting to dismiss someone’s shared experience based on nothing but your own armchair feelings, and even moreso to concede if the person is telling the truth (how on earth could a person be lying or mistaken about this?) that they couldn’t be a functioning adult. It’s honestly quite a narcissistic view that someone could not possibly think differently than you, and dism…

I know that it can be perceived so, which is why I prefaced with "I know it's bad to say this - like telling someone who is ill that they are not - but I cannot believe that...". I am only engaging with commenters who are interested in the conversation, and I'm NOT trying to put anyone down. I just want to get to know more exact meanings and nuances of "I don't have an internal monologue".

I didn’t take it negatively by the way. This is all so interesting and what you are saying is also absolutely not nonsensical. It’s all so hard to put it into .. words. :)
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