Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

theguardian.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

21–30 of 79 posts

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#21

Post by satvikpendem »

I read a short story once, maybe by Ted Chiang of Stories of Your Life fame which inspired Arrival, it talked about how there was a similar system for dating in their world, bots writing for other bots, that eventually the AI got so powerful that it knew who your soulmate was out of everyone in the world and it would tell you.

What the people in the story grappled with was, would you truly want to meet your supposed soulmate or would you want to exercise your free will to find them yourself, even if perhaps that were a suboptimal process?

Edit: the story was The Perfect Match by Ken Liu [0]

[0] https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-perfect-match...

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#22

Post by awongh »

kylecazar wrote: post #2

"may degrade an already precarious online environment" Not may, will. Furthermore, I will never wrap my head around why people would use AI for a use-case like this. It entirely defeats the purpose of interacting with people. If you are awkward, with enough time you will either find someone who is also awkward, or someone who doesn't care/finds it endearing. Having a bot generate dialog for you is a weird step backwa…

The bot is just a symptom of the weird social dynamics at play inside a dating app, where in a heterosexual environment, the women recieve an unmanageable number of messages and the men need to send/respond to an unmanageable number of messages in order for both parties to agree to meet up in real life.

Everyone agrees that most of the point of a dating app should be to figure out if real-life interaction is pleasant and agreeable, but for lots of reasons it's difficult to get to that point.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#23

Post by cardanome »

kylecazar wrote: post #2

"may degrade an already precarious online environment" Not may, will. Furthermore, I will never wrap my head around why people would use AI for a use-case like this. It entirely defeats the purpose of interacting with people. If you are awkward, with enough time you will either find someone who is also awkward, or someone who doesn't care/finds it endearing. Having a bot generate dialog for you is a weird step backwa…

The way people select a mate on dating apps is very different than how people judge potential mates when meeting them in real life.

Someone could be bad at texting and writing profiles but actually charming and a good fit to you when given the chance to have an actual date.

The idea so use a tool that helps you over the initial hurdle so you get a chance in the first place isn't that far fetched. Also speaking personally, I dislike texting and find dating apps a huge time waster, so automating the process sounds like a good idea.

I am not sure AI is the solution but the problem is real.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#24

Post by qoez »

One perspective is that we already have a number of long since normalized 'genetic fitness' obfuscators in the shape of makeup and surgery. It's an arms race but both sides are smart enough to be aware of the fakery and start seeking costly non fakable signals instead.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#25

Post by ta12653421 »

shalg wrote: post #6
cs702 wrote: post #3

Mass-market online dating apps are already a minefield of phony/fake and spammy/scammy content. AI will make it so much worse, so quickly. I wonder if this will spark a return to more old-fashioned methods for finding dates.

Probably will slightly increase old fashioned methods. More likely though it’s going to accelerate social isolation :/

Here i can also add a story:

Last year, i recognized a lady who also exits the same metro & bus at the same station sometimes, so i was looking forward that i will see her again one day. This happened: I have to note im somewhat above the average body height, as she is: id say she was around 1.89m, my own size - apart from the fact that i found her beautiful, i thought it would be somehow a "higher chance" to get to known her, since for tall women its actually not easy (if you are ~1.89m and you want someone who is at least the same size, 90%+ men are out!) and i "projected" that she may notice this. So when i saw her leaving the bus, i spoke to her and invited here to a coffee - she looked at me completely confused like i was trying to rob her. (it was a "daylight situation" short after lunch)

Not required to say that she never called back after handing her my number :-)))

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#26

Post by haswell »

I found myself single in my late 30s after a long relationship ended.

Dipping my toe in the water with the apps was not an experience that I enjoyed. I met my ex online at a time when people didn’t admit they met online. That was a far better time for online dating.

What I know with absolute certainty is that adding AI to the pre-meeting process is exactly the opposite of what I want, especially if that means I’m not interacting with the real person.

I already have a strongly stated “if we’re both interested based on our profiles, let’s just meet for coffee ASAP” preference, and the best dates have been with people who felt the same way. Anything else (aside from maybe a video call) just means we’re both building images of each other that may not be real. People are very different in person in many cases. Add an AI in the middle, and this is even worse.

I wholly agree with the point that adding an AI layer is just taking an already suboptimal situation and making it immediately worse.

I can’t help but feel like this is a market ripe for disruption. If the big apps start featuring AI, I think this becomes even more true.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#27

Post by ta12653421 »

luqtas wrote: post #10
cs702 wrote: post #3

Mass-market online dating apps are already a minefield of phony/fake and spammy/scammy content. AI will make it so much worse, so quickly. I wonder if this will spark a return to more old-fashioned methods for finding dates.

almost all of the popular ones have photo verification and you can limit yourself on interacting with photo-verified (Tinder even have ID auth) users only

How would you prove in front of court that this verification icon was not placed by the app development company? :-)

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#28

Post by im3w1l »

satvikpendem wrote: post #21

I read a short story once, maybe by Ted Chiang of Stories of Your Life fame which inspired Arrival, it talked about how there was a similar system for dating in their world, bots writing for other bots, that eventually the AI got so powerful that it knew who your soulmate was out of everyone in the world and it would tell you. What the people in the story grappled with was, would you truly want to meet your supposed…

Batch ten predicted couples and put them all in a speed dating event so they can have the illusion of picking each other.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#29

Post by ta12653421 »

johnisgood wrote: post #15
gedy wrote: post #7

Online "dating" that involves texting is just such a terrible fit. Most people either have poor reading comprehension or lack ability to write clearly, and that's the worst combo for relationship building. It's really no surprise that "dating" apps devolve into clicking a picture and hooking up for sex.

Texting only sure sucks, you need to be on cam and talk through the mic at the very least.

actually, id say this would kill the business: Most people look on cam much less attractive than in real life, also most people do not like to interact per video immediately (apart from the fact that with todays deepfake-AI tools one could be easily a victim to ID-theft etc.)

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#30

Post by ta12653421 »

ta12653421 wrote: post #17
Carrok wrote: post #9

So happy I’m married already. Dating today seems like such a nightmare and this will only make it worse.

Coming out of nearly exactly 12.75 years long-term-relationship and trying currently these apps, i can confirm to you: TRUE. I do not know whats up with the people: Couple of weeks ago i had a dad, she had also 2 children; during the discussion it turned out that they have a battle regarding who is responsible for cleaning the bathroom+WC; i was shocked about their frequency (3 people!), so i said: why dont just get…

why do i get downvoted here on a story that happened in real life?
Post reply on HN